Dhoni and His Virat Coolie.

What is the point of Virat Kohli?

That is all.

Okay no, that is not all. You knew that anyway.

India stampeded the ODI arena last year with huge wins and massive margins. People began hailing Dhoni as the greatest Indian captain ever and probably among the most versatile. Like, ever.

Along with Dhoni, individual brilliance was a key element to India’s purple patch. Sachin Tendulkar‘s double century was an icing to a very large chocolate cake. With ice cream.

Yusuf Pathan’s walloping, Harbhajan Singh’s doosras, Virender Sehwag‘s everyday, and Zaheer Khan’s ponytail to name just a few.

But in a parallel universe, Virat Kohli rose up without a sound and suddenly, we were seeing his name at the top of the batting charts and realised that he was, infact, present in our very own universe.

The Delhi ‘lad’, as 2398 journalists around the world have called him, carved a niche of his own and cemented his place in the first eleven while sweeping Rohit Sharma out of the dressing room, who now serves him his hourly Gatorade.

Virat Kohli, whom I used to call ‘a show off’ and insert hindi two word swear word here, was winning my heart and keeping it. Which is the reason I have chest pains every morning. I fear my future…

Getting to the point, Kohli played with finesse and class and proved to the world that the arrogant youth doesn’t only care about low undies and shiny shirts, but can also toil to score runs.

Which doesn’t apply to us, by the way. We love our undies low and nothing more.

Before the start of the World Cup, cricket pundits and Sidhu claimed that Virat Kohli would be an important player for the Indian team.

He proved that by scoring a brisk hundred against Bangladesh in the opening game and alighting the eyes of the Indian supporter.

Four matches on, Virat Kohli has come in at number seven thrice. In a pathetic, pathetic move by MS Dhoni, he shifts up either Pathan, himself or Yuvraj to go ahead and play their shots while Kohli languishes in the dressing room waiting for his chance.

Which comes really quick.

Now, I don’t want to analyse Dhoni’s head, because tampering with anything which refuses to explain why Ashwin hasn’t played yet, in English, could lead to deadly side effects.

Oh, he did explain in English?

Promoting Yuvraj, who has the grace of a Tic Tac box now, may have been useful a few years back. But at a time when he takes 70 balls to reach a fifty and hasn’t scored a hundred in a long while, is just plain stupid.

Virat Kohli must be thinking about what he did wrong. Maybe he hasn’t bowled enough googlies…

Sorry, that was a cheap shot, Piyush..

Dhoni really needs to find his thinking cap. He’s thinking out of the box, but that may not always be the right way. Sometimes I think Dhoni’s just got carried away by his luck. Maybe he needs to lose a few tosses…