Chennai, 1st June: As challenger Boris Gelfand is still reeling under the ‘Anand hi Anand’ feeling, his master, the Grandmaster, returned to a standing ovation from his driver at the airport. Ramesh (name changed) complained to the World Champion of keeping him waiting for an extra half hour. Ramesh later told Sharnab Goswami of Scream Now, “I wanted to get home early today. I am a big fan of Lakshmipathy Balaji and one of the channels were playing the highlights of KKR’s celebrations in Kolkata (in Maa Mati Manush style). But thanks to the Grandmaster, I will have to wait for official DVD release now.”
Mumbai, 30th May: Poonam Pandey has been reportedly called for by the government to be its lady luck. One of the central government spokespersons has promised to the media that the number of reforms to be witnessed in India in coming times will be equal to the number of promises Poonam makes. And talking of Lady Luck, Gauri Khan has reinstated her desire to overtake twitter-friendly Pandey and flag-waver Chawla in the race to be KKR’s leading lady. As per our sources, Gauri has joined Tai-Chi classes to rejuvenate the ‘excitement’ hormones in her inner being.
Kolkata, 29th May: The city, which has been kept as mortgage for intaking insignificant loans from the centre, witnessed Pradeep Sangwan and Rajat Bhatia dancing to the tunes of Mamata Banerjee, not to forget Vijay Dahiya. And as Miss Jojo made Shah Rukh Khan cartwheel around the Eden, Kolkatans enjoyed the rather chaotic summer afternoon munching onto some much needed water melons.
And why not?
The Chief Minister ensured that the heat rose beyond bearable as she orchestrated the crowd, “Sing with me, Dhitang Dhitang” and if that wasn’t enough, the hysteric Khan kissed the sweaty forehead of Mamata Banerjee.
The Chief Minister’s celebration of the win in the city ensured low attendances in offices, as office goers were made to record their attendance in the civic reception (if it was, by any means). Now she is the same DIDI who makes it a thumb rule for all her workers to report to duty when the state reels under any non-Trinamool bandh.
I feel it is unfair to raise fingers on Shah Rukh Khan to force Ravi “Cliché” Shastri and Danny Morrison to mimic Navjot Sidhu. This man has faced a truckload of hardships in the last five years. From Saurav Ganguly to Ra.One, he has bore it all, with his shades on. And now, to prove his true sportsmanship, King Khan has announced his interests in buying 50% stakes in Dempo SC. So, all you football fans, beware.
And it was only after Rajeev Shukla threatened Shastri of not paying his salary, that the man of self-dictioned words not do a Chammak Challo while conducting the presentation ceremony. Had he done so, the alternative was Usha Uttup.
While Ramesh still curses Vishy for missing out on the Lakshmi-Mamata-SRK show and Mrs. Khan trains hard to get back at the top of the race, school kids from the city have voiced against the injustice towards them. They were seen cartwheeling on roof tops in a posh locality of South Kolkata after winning the inter-state book cricket league.
Shah Rukh and Mamata can go on defending such hysteric and over-the-top celebrations, but some justified questions are bound to be raised. The celebrations were a nice occasion to skip office, to disobey rules. But what will Kolkata gain from KKR’s win? KKR will win all the prize money, but will it benefit the state, reeling under thousands of crores of loans from the centre? As Ms Banerjee demands, will Shah Rukh Khan set up an industry in Kolkata? When Ms Banerjee had herself quoted West Bengal to be a poor state, did she not realize that such outrageous display of wealth will only make the state poorer? By the time the euphoria dies down, the month-end targets will have to be achieved, collections will be made and salaries will have to be given. Will the KKR owners own up for the loss incurred?
The celebrations were a sign of how achievement-starved the city of Kolkata is. But I have no qualms against such displays of austerity as long as I can earn some paid holidays. Thank you, KKR… Thank you, DIDI.