John Laurinaitis comes to the ring and doesn’t even get to say his name because ‘No Chance’ cuts him off, and Vince MacMahon comes out to a huge pop. Johnny offers a handshake but Vince says he has no idea where his hand has been. Vince says they aren’t friends now because he is here to evaluate his job, and he wants a reason not to fire him.
Johnny says ‘People Power’, and he mentions that they are reaching the 1000th episode of RAW and it will be a huge event. He says he empowers the fans and they love him, and they say ‘no’ when Vince asks, but Johnny says the fans used to boo him like this too. Johnny says they are visionaries and astute businessmen, but Vince says Johnny is the guy who signed Brock Lesnar’s contract and got them into two lawsuits.
Vince mentions a story about Johnny signing the wrong one-legged wrestler, then he says Johnny made a bad deal by signing Big Show to a big contract. Vince says Big Show is washed up, but Johnny says he is wrong because he is performing at a higher level, and he will prove it at No Way Out. Johnny starts talking about being people’s friend, but Vince says he can’t possibly be anyone’s friend because they can’t understand him. Sheamus comes out and says he felt the need to come out here and say Johnny is a friend, and he is the type of friend who will fine you $500,000 because he can. He also says Johnny held a grudge because he bumped into him, then Vince mentions #firejohnny is trending worldwide right now.
Sheamus calls Johnny the worst GM in WWE history, and he speaks on behalf of everyone by saying Vince should kick him out on his ass. Johnny says he doesn’t speak for the locker room, and he should stay in the ring because he is going to get an opponent that will make him sorry for making fun of him. Vince stops him and says the opponent and the match had better be good, and the whole show should be good or he will be fired. Johnny angrily hobbles up the ramp, then Vince steals his scooter and rides it up to the stage and runs it off the stage. Johnny comes back out and says Sheamus’ opponent is not in a good mood, then Tensai comes out with Sakamoto and throws him out of the way.
Sheamus vs Tensai (Sakamoto)
Tenasai throws Sheamus to the mat, then Sheamus hits a shoulder block and reverses a corner whip with a big boot. Sheamus hits him in the back but Tensai punches him in the corner, then they trade some punches and Tensai drops him with a stiff elbow shot. Sheamus ducks a short clothesline, then he hits Tensai and clotheslines him out of the ring as we go to a commercial break. When we return, Sheamus fights from his knees and punches Tensai in the midsection, but Tensai knees him in the face and whips him into the opposite corner. Tensai hits a corner splash and a middle rope bomb for a near fall, but Sheamus fires up and hits a few forearm shots for a near fall.
Tensai elbows his way out of an Irish Curse backbreaker attempt, then he shoves Sheamus over the top rope but Sheamus ties him in the ropes and clubs him. Sheamus leaps off the top rope but Tensai catches him on the way down, then he choke bombs him and gets a two count. Tensai headbutts him and tries to whip him into the ropes, but Sheamus shifts his weight so Tensai knees him in the face. He backs up and tries to bounce off the ropes, but Sheamus turns around and surprises him with a Brogue Kick for the win.
Winner – Sheamus
John Laurinaitis is shown watching with Vince McMahon and Teddy Long, and Vince says they will consider that his first strike tonight. Vince asks what his next idea is, and Johnny stutters until Vickie Guerrero walks in. Vickie says they should consider Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, and Vince says he is sure Johnny will consider it. Johnny asks what Teddy thinks, and he says they have four former champions here tonight, and Dolph and Swagger should join Christian and The Great Khali in a four way elimination match. Vince says that sounds like a great idea, then Johnny tries to fist bump him, but Vince says he has tiny hands and walks away.
Tensai is still in the ring after a commercial, and he beats the hell out of Sakamoto and slaps him in the face. He throws him out of the ring and rubs his face on the broadcast table, then he elbows him in the face and screams at him. Tensai picks him up and throws him into the ringpost, then he throws him into the barricade and repeatedly knees him in the face. Referees finally run out and stop him, and he stands over Sakamoto and screams ‘Watashi wa, Tensai!’ before leaving.
R-Truth is shown talking to himself when Matt Striker asks him how he is after Big Show attacked him, and he says he is fine. He says Little Jimmy was traumatized, then he tells Little Jimmy to stand up straight and stop being so sensitive. Truth says Big Show will lose on Sunday, then Big Show comes from the side and knocks him out.
Santino Marella & Layla vs Ricardo Rodriguez & Beth Phoenix
Layla applies a side headlock but Ricardo tries to tag her, and Layla kicks his foot then she knocks him off the apron. Beth uses the distraction to knock her down, then she suplexes Layla off the ropes as Ricardo accidentally makes a blind tag. Ricardo refuses to get in, so Beth yells at him to get out of the ring, then Layla hits a crossbody for a two count. Beth knocks her down and attempts a clothesline, but Layla counters with a hurricanrana and also catches Ricardo with it. Santino teases him with a Cobra strike and he runs into the ringpost, then Beth connects with a Glam Slam to take the match. Ricardo taunts Santino while he checks on Layla, but Santino tears his shirt off and Ricardo runs away crying after ‘revealing’ his Justin Bieber t-shirt.
Winners – Ricardo Rodriguez & Beth Phoenix
David Otunga is backstage with Vince McMahon, and he says he hopes Johnny keeps his job, but he knows someone to take his place if he does. Otunga says he is educated and has the body, and Vince says he appreciates him sucking up, but he doesn’t like lawyers and calls them parasites. Kofi Kingston bursts in and asks where Johnny is, and Johnny follows him in and says doctors were with R-Truth and he is unable to appear tonight. Kofi demands a match with him, and Johnny disagrees at first, then he says Kofi will get a No Way Out preview in a steel cage match tonight.
Daniel Bryan comes out and says he is nothing like CM Punk and Kane because they have a weakness in the form of a distraction named AJ. Bryan says Punk is jealous of him being a superior wrestler, and now Punk is trying to get with his ex-girlfriend to make him jealous, but it’s pathetic. He says Kane thinks getting to second base is when a woman looks at him long enough and doesn’t vomit. Bryan says AJ is still in love with him, and there was a moment in time where she got to be with someone as great as him. Bryan says AJ can attest to the phrase ‘once you go Bryan, there’s no point in trying’, then he says he’s only interested in the WWE Championship now.
CM Punk comes out and says he talks about AJ a lot for someone who isn’t interested in her, and he says she is actually a really cool person. He says they both have Bryan in common, and AJ is out of Bryan’s league out of the ring, and he’s not in Punk’s league in the ring. Punk says he likes crazy chicks, but he likes his WWE title more, and he is leaving No Way Out with his championship. Bryan says no, and he asks what happened to him because he changed. Bryan says he panders to everyone, and the fans are the ‘voiceless’ because they have nothing intelligent to say. He says they like to call Big Show a sellout, but Punk is the biggest sellout in the company, then Punk calls him a hyprocritical superstar with his ‘YES!’ shirt.
Punk says he aired his grievances almost a year ago, and he hasn’t changed a bit because the same people still hate him but he succeeded on his terms. He says they used to be similar, but Bryan took his fame and became a self-absorbed moron, which is fine because they can always use a guy like that around here. Punk says whether he likes it or not, he is getting a wake up call, and it’s ironic because it will come when he puts him to sleep. Kane interrupts them and he says he wants to remind them who, or what, he is, and he mentions lighting JR on fire and electrocuting Shane McMahon. He says his pipe bombs are actual pipe bombs, and that is why he is leaving with the title this Sunday.
AJ comes out and asks them to stop, then she says Kane can deny it but she looked into his eyes and saw he does have a heart. Punk says you have to love crazy chicks, then AJ says you never get over your first love, and she looks at Bryan and says she hasn’t. AJ says Punk is pretty much the coolest guy ever, then Bryan asks her what the point of all of this is. She says this Sunday the best man will win, then she smiles as John Laurinaitis cuts them off on the Titantron. He says they will have a match they never saw before, then he tells Bryan and Kane to put their differences aside because they will team against Punk and AJ!
#1 Contender’s Match (Fatal 4 Way Elimination): Christian vs The Great Khali vs Dolph Ziggler vs Jack Swagger
Everyone runs at Khali but he chops them all, then he throws Christian in the corner and chops him and does the same to Swagger. He picks up Dolph and chops him near the ropes, then he sends him into the corner and smashes Swagger and Dolph’s head together. Dolph tries to go after his legs but Khali shoves him back, then Swagger chop blocks him as Dolph hits a dropkick. Christian comes off the top rope with a Frog Splash, then all three men pin him to make the first elimination.
Christian fights off both Swagger and Dolph as we get back, but Dolph hits a dropkick then Swagger hits a double leg slam for a near fall. Vickie slaps Christian while the ref is turned, then Swagger holds Christian for an attack, but Christian counters and backdrops Dolph out to the floor. Swagger knocks Swagger down and sets up for a Killswitch, but Swagger reverses and Christian kicks him in the stomach and goes for a springboard kick. Swagger pulls his legs and slams him on the mat, then he puts him in an ankle lock but Christian kicks him into the corner. Christian hits a Killswitch but Dolph runs in and steals the pin, then Christian rolls him up for a two count as Vickie screams at him.
Dolph attacks Christian’s leg and puts him in a single leg Boston crab, but Christian kicks him away then hits a few elbow shots. Dolph leapfrogs him and puts him in a sleeperhold, but Christian counters and goes for a spear, then pulls up short on his hurt leg. Dolph tries to dropkick him but Christian catches his legs, then he backs off and hits a spear for a near fall. Christian calls for a Killswitch but Dolph counters with a legdrop bulldog for two, then he sets up for a Zig Zag but Christian counters with an inverted DDT. He goes up top but Dolph runs after him, then Christian knocks him down and Vickie starts yelling at Christian. He jumps towards Dolph but he moves and Christian lands on his injured ankle, then Dolph pops up and hits a Zig Zag for the win.
Winner – Dolph Ziggler
Natalya is shown talking to Vince McMahon about how fun his match with Bret Hart was, then she asks if they can have the whole family there again. He says they can discuss it later and he tells her to wait there, then the Funkadactyls dance over to him and ask him to let Brodus Clay back on RAW. They say he’s the coolest cat there is, then he thinks about it and says ‘somebody call my momma’ and starts freak dancing with them. Zack Ryder walks up behind him and looks shocked, but Vince just says ‘Woo Woo Woo You Know It’ and walks away.
Ryback vs Willard Fillmore & Rutherford Hayes
Fillmore and Hayes come out after Ryback and say they weren’t waiting for him, then Fillmore runs at Ryback and he gets slammed to the mat. Ryback powerbombs him twice, then Hayes tries to run away but Ryback takes his head off with a lariat at ringside. Ryback press slams him back in, then he picks them both up and hits a double Muscle Buster for the win.
Winner – Ryback
Hornswoggle is shown with Vince McMahon watching a replay of Smackdown when he dressed like JR, then Vince says it’s not bad but he can give him a few tips. He takes the hat and mocks JR, then Hornswoggle wants to do it again but Vince says he saw it already. John Cena walks in and says John Laurinaitis is terrible and he needs to be fired, then Vince brings up his loss at Wrestlemania. Cena says he didn’t know Wrestlemania wins meant success, because Vince also lost a few matches at Wrestlemania. Vince says he wants to talk about the present, then he tells Cena to stay out of the cage match tonight. He says Cena should do his job on Sunday, then Cena says he is famous for ‘you’re fired’ and he should use those words tonight. David Otunga comes back in and says he knows Vince doesn’t like lawyers, then Vince says no one respects for an ass kisser and says no offense while looking at William Regal.
Steel Cage Match: Kofi Kingston vs Big Show
Kofi leaps at Show as he gets in the cage, but Show knocks him down and throws him headfirst into the cage. Show knocks him down with a headbutt, then he bodyslams him and smashes his face on the cage. Show throws him back into the cage wall, then he steps on his throat in the corner and pulls him up by the hair. He continues the assault by slamming Kofi’s back into the cage, then he says he’s not smiling anymore and does it again. Kofi tries to fight to his feet but Show repeatedly kicks him in the head, then he stomps him in the corner and whips him into the corner.
Show says he can’t be stopped, then Kofi dropkicks him and goes up top but Show catches him by the throat. He throws Kofi into the cage but Kofi grabs the wall and starts climbing, then Show grabs him but Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise. Kofi tries to crawl out of the door a few times, but Show pulls him back in and hits him with a Knockout Punch. Show looks around at the crowd while the ref checks on Kofi, then the ref says Kofi is out cold. Show walks out of the ring and pretends to lose his balance on the steps, then he leaves and wins as John Laurinaitis is shown watching.
Winner – Big Show
Sin Cara vs Curt Hawkins
Hawkins applies an armbar but Cara spins around and takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl armdrag, then he goes outside and hits a corkscrew plancha. Hawkins slams him on the floor and kicks him on the way back in, then he puts him in an abdominal stretch and switches to an electric chair drop. Cara counters with a near fall rollup, then he kicks Hawkins in the face and stomps on his hand. Cara takes him down with a spinning armdrag, then he reverses a bodyslam with La Mistica for the win.
Winner – Sin Cara
Daniel Bryan is shown warming up when Vince McMahon wishes him good luck, and Bryan says he is surprised he likes someone like him. Vince says he wants his opinion, and he knows not to judge a book by its cover, but Bryan doesn’t look like a superstar. Bryan says he was already fired once, but he proved him wrong and they are both self made success stories who defied the odds. Vince says unlike how quick he lost his championship, he has never finished anything that quick, then he laughs at says he’ll let him think about that.
Justin Roberts announces that John Laurinaitis invited a former RAW main eventer to the show in honor of RAW’s 1000th episode. Heath Slater takes the mic and he says they shouldn’t celebrate the old, because he’s right in front of them. Slater says he is a superstar and he’s the one man band, then he says it’s his time and it’s Slater Time.
Heath Slater vs Vader
Vader barks at Slater and locks up with him, then he shoves him into the corner and Slater screams at the fans while they start a Vader chant. Slater punches Vader and runs the ropes, but Vader knocks him down with a shoulder block and a clothesline. Slater tries to get up but Vader hits another clothesline and an elbow drop, then he suplexes him and gets a two count. Vader punches him in the face and Slater tries to bodyslam him, but the weight is too much and Vader falls on him for a two count. Vader hits a belly-to-belly suplex and points to the sky, then he climbs the turnbuckles and hits a Vader Bomb for the win.
Winner – Vader
CM Punk is backstage with AJ, and he says she shouldn’t worry because this is just John Laurinaitis trying to get to him. He says nothing will happen to her, and it will be like a handicap match so she won’t be harmed. Punk says they have an advantage because they trust each other, then she says they like each other too. He says she should just stand on the apron and not do anything crazy, then she says OK and kisses his cheek before walking away.
Kane & Daniel Bryan vs CM Punk & AJ
Punk kicks Kane in the stomach and sends him into the corner, then he hits a high knee but Kane counters a bulldog with a big boot. Bryan comes in and kicks Punk in the chest, then taunts AJ and puts Punk in a headlock. Punk shoves him off the ropes and knocks him down, then he hits a swinging neckbreaker and a running knee. Bryan blocks a bulldog but Punk comes back with a spinning powerslam before heading up top. Punk misses a top rope elbow drop, then Kane tags in and Punk forgets and goes for a tag, but stops when he realizes it’s AJ there.
Kane whips Punk into the corner and he accidentally makes contact with AJ, then the ref says it was a tag and she has to get in the match. AJ smiles at Kane and tries to flirt with him, then she prances around him and jumps up into his arms and makes out with him. Kane just stares at her, then Punk gets up and sees her and Kane tags Bryan and leaves. Bryan runs at AJ but Punk elbows him in the corner, then he makes the tag and hits a top rope elbow drop for the win. Punk celebrates with his title while AJ sits in the middle of the ring, and she smiles at Punk while Kane watches from the stage.
Winners – CM Punk & AJ
Vince McMahon comes back out with security, and he says he has a soft spot for Connecticut because he lives there and his daughter was born there. He says it’s appropriate that one live began here, because one is about to end, then he calls John Laurinaitis out to the ring. Johnny says he is upset about his scooter, but Vince doesn’t need security out there because he he would never put his hands on him. Vince says the security is for Johnny, and someone is getting escorted out of the ring tonight, but Johnny says he is making a mistake and the people need him. Johnny says he should be there when they go to three hours, and he says he wants to be in charge and continue to promote ‘People Power’.
Vince says those two words are synonymous with Johnny, but he has two words he likes to say, then he goes to say it but Big Show cuts them off. Show says Johnny has made some mistakes, but he gave him an iron clad contract and he can do and say what he wants. Show says Vince could fire him but he would pay him millions to sit home and do nothing, and Vince doesn’t pay for something without results. Show says he has been ridiculed for 14 years, and it’s all Vince’s fault because he said he should be entertaining and make people happy. Show says he doesn’t have to do that anymore because of his contract, and he is done being a joke so Vince should worry about John Cena. He says Vince’s “golden goose” is getting his feathers plucked at No Way Out, then John Cena cuts him off and says he’s there for business.
Cena says Show blamed him first, then he blamed the fans and Vince, but he should really blame Johnny for giving him the money. He says Show is done being a joke, but he said he can now be a giant when he always was one. Cena says he figured it out, and now everything revolves around Show, because he has a contract and a match he wants, and he has management behind him. Cena says no one would pick him to win, but he better win because he won’t have any excuses left and he will be a disappointment. He asks what happens if Show loses, then Vince says he will be there Sunday and he will fire Johnny if he loses. Show chokes Cena and they start knocking out security, then Show accidentally knocks out Vince and Johnny tells him to get out of there as the show ends.
- After RAW went off the air, Vince McMahon was assisted to the back. John Laurinaitis then announced the dark match, which saw John Cena defeat Laurinaitis, Big Show and David Otunga in a handicap match after Show accidentally hit Otunga with the WMD. Cena sent Show outside of the ring and pinned Otunga to get the win.
Published with permission from The WWE Gang.