Satire: BCCI To Take IPL 6 'to the people'... and moots changes in the domestic structure

BCCI feels they can emulate this

After the recent success of the World Squash Federations’s under-21 squash championships, the BCCI has decided to follow suit and take cricket to the masses. For those of you not in the know, the squash championships were actually held in a prominent shopping mall within the confines of Chennai, India. The event was a roaring success attracting large audiences and sponsors.

Said BCCI Chief (and general person-of-no-conflict-of-interest) Mr. N.Srinivasan, ‘there were some accusations about the general drop in attendances in the stadia during IPL 5. There were even some outrageous claims that we paid people to go watch cricket at the stadia. Well, to put all that right, and to prove that the BCCI is committed to taking the game forward, we have decided “to take the game to the people”, as it were.’

‘IPL 6 will be held in malls all across the country. For those of you fearing that there can possibly not be enough space for a full-sized cricket field in a mall, well, the answer is that cricket is evolving and BCCI is at the forefront of that evolution. So far, the T-20 format has been the rage with the reduction in the number of overs making the game better. This was, of course, an invention of the ECB and well, if the ECB can be revolutionary, we can go one step further.’

‘We have decided that rather than reduce the number of overs, we can reduce the length and breadth of the field itself. To be more precise, take off the field. It is common knowledge that the most exciting part of a T-20 game is when there are fielding restrictions in the first 6 overs. We have come up with an ingenious plan of restricting the field itself to 30 yards (or less, depending on the size of the mall) so that it can be more of a spectacle.’

‘The pitch, for the time being at least, will be 22 yards. We are looking at actively reducing that since our team of experts has pointed out that 20 would be more ideal for advertisers as they would get more coverage from a narrower camera angle thereby making more space for TV commercials during the game.’

‘Moving to the malls also makes sense because we get to give a lot more space for advertisers to prominently display their wares. It will be a new kind of experiential-marketing that will be novel for the crowd as well. I mean, imagine, you can see a coca-cola ad on a player’s jersey and have a coca-cola in your hand. So you see, you can really have the coke and watch it too.’

 ‘Yes, I know that most of you think that a field is essential but if you do really think that way, then why do people always say, “in the end, all that matters are those 22 yards.”’

Meanwhile the BCCI has also come up with a plan to revamp the domestic first-class structure. Said Mr. Srinivasan, ‘it is high-time that the BCCI looked at the domestic structure, for it is quite evidently inadequate. I mean, for starters, it is played in whites for the most part and this is not particularly appealing to the audience.’

He continued, ‘we have also keenly noted that most first-class cricket happens to be test cricket. This has to change, of course. I mean, who watches test cricket anyway? And domestic test cricket? Really? So you see my point here. What we have decided to do is to do away with 4-day tests and replace them with 4-day T-20s. That is to say that there will be 4 T-20 games instead of one 4-day game. This will, in the long run, equip our young fast bowlers with the necessary skills of bowling slower balls, slower bouncers and slower yorkers that are in high demand during the IPL.’

‘We have also decided to auction off the states in order that more money flows into the domestic game. From our brief discussions, we have had tremendous response from international parties to buy states. The middle-East is especially interested in Kerala, I can tell you that much. We will furnish you with more details when we firm up the plans. Now, if you’ll excuse me,  I’m off for a strategic time out.’