Last night’s Raw was, well, very interesting. We saw the United States Championship get devalued even further, Heath Slater fell victim to another legend, and John Cena in another crappy main event. Overall, I would give Raw a pretty awful 5.4/10. It’s now time to tick off the top ten moments from last night’s awful Raw.
#10. Mick Foley returns
I love Mick Foley. He’s awesome. I always welcome his presence on TV. But his return to Raw would’ve been a lot higher if he actually came back for a reason. I know he said that he will be hosting Raw and Smackdown, but he did absolutely NOTHING on Raw. Hopefully he will be more of a presence on Smackdown.
Come on WWE, can you really not think of anything else? It was a good match and such, but you basically just made the same match you did on Friday, just with Kane replacing Ziggler. Be more creative next time.
#8. Heath Slater gets taken out by Cyndi Lauper
As a wrestler, I hate Heath Slater. As someone who gets fed to legends week in and week out, I thoroughly enjoy him. I was actually hoping for a legend to return and wrestle like Vader did, but seeing Slater get clocked with a gold record (which busted him open, actually).
#7. Primetime Players vs. Primo & Epico
I know, I know. The match lasted only about 42 seconds, but it’s WWE’s effort to make the tag team division interesting. They actually have a storyline happening, and it doesn’t really even involve the champs. Got to give them some props for that.
#6. John Cena gives Big Johnny three Atitude Adjustments
GET OUT OF THE MAIN EVENT CENA! YOU HAVE NO TITLE, YET YOU ARE STEALING THE MAIN EVENT SPOT FROM CM PUNK! Now that I got that out of the way, I can continue in a calm and peaceful manner. John Cena beating up Big Johnny ended the show in a 20 minute segment. That is unacceptable. CM Punk (who is the freaking WWE Champion) has been regulated to opening the show every night. Seriously WWE, we will honestly keep watching if John Cena isn’t in the main event every night.
#5. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger
I’m going to be honest here, for about a good 15 seconds, I thought Ziggler was legitimately hurt. That’s how good at selling the guy is. But that’s not the only thing Ziggs is good at. In fact, he’s good at everything, and he definitely showed us that in his awesome match with Jack Swagger.
#4. Big Show and David Otunga walk out on John Laurinaits
It makes sense. Big Show had his iron clad contract, he didn’t need to stick with Big Johnny. David Otunga didn’t work for Laurinaitis, so he didn’t need to do anything for him. It wasn’t the most exciting thing (nothing really was in the crappy edition of Raw), but it was just nice to see heels turn on heels because it makes sense.
#3. Dolph Ziggler doesn’t dump Vickie
If you have read any of my previous articles, you will know that I am a HUGE Dolph Ziggler fan. You will also know that I am a huge advocate for him to leave Vickie. When he won his match with Ziggler, I was hoping (and expecting) that he would turn her down. Instead, they made out. That made me sad. Now it’s going to be even harder to separate the two.
#2. Triple H/Paul Heyman segment
I’m a Paul Heyman guy. He rocks. Triple H is also pretty damn good. So the two of them in the ring together (again) makes for some entertaining television. Heyman did a good job as the slimy heel, and Triple H did a good job of the, umm, corporate wrestler who wants to fight a former UFC fight (?). Anyways, the segment was entertaining, and I’m looking forward to Cena not being in the main event at SummerSlam.
#1. AJ comes out dressed like Kane
For the trillionth time, AJ makes it the number one spot on our list. I never thought I would say this, but that was one sexy Kane outfit.
Published with permission from WWE Stats.