Satire: Rohit Sharma retires from International Cricket

In a shocking turn of events, self-proclaimed future legend – Rohit Sharma – has announced his retirement from all forms of cricket. Holding a press conference on Skype, Rohit announced that he would like to provide the youngsters an opportunity to make a name. In a video chat with our correspondent, Rohit said, “I guess my time has come. I’ve had my share of chances. I don’t want to spoil a youngster’s career.”

Rohit Sharma had a batting average lesser than that of Lasith Malinga in the recently concluded five match ODI series in Sri Lanka. Despite having just scored just 13 runs in his last five outings, the BCCI didn’t take any strong measures. “The BCCI expect a lot from me. They’ve given me more chances than my first girlfriend did. I don’t want to let them down time and again. The mind and body are not in sync”, he said.

On asked whether VVS Laxman’s retirement had anything to do with this decision of his, Sharma was livid at the fact that VVS stole his limelight. “I had called up my close friends and ex-cricketers a couple of days ago to personally inform them about my retirement plans, and VVS was on the list too. He just timed it better than me. But such has been my story.”

A bizarre quote from Rohit Sharma reads “For the records, I retire from Test cricket as well”. That would make him the first ever cricketer to announce his retirement from Test cricket without having played a single game.

Though it was a brief love affair, bidding adieu to cricket was one heck of an emotional moment for Rohit. “Despite achieving this much, it feels like I’ve left something unconquered. I always gave my heart and soul to the game. I just want to be remembered as one who always kept the team ahead of personal interests,” said Rohit taking a dig at Sachin Tendulkar.

Reacting to this decision of Rohit Sharma, Virat Kohli updated his FB status to ‘B**ch Please’. Gautam Gambhir expressed his concerns on Twitter saying, “Would that mean Ravindra Jadeja will be back? Crap!” The South African bowlers were seen sporting black armbands in the ongoing Test match agains England mourning the loss of several career wickets to their name.

All said and done, the two questions that remain are, will Sharma do an Afridi? Or, has he observed enough to learn from Kevin Pietersen’s tragic story?

Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction and completely fun intended