Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction purely intended as humour. Please do not go overboard with your comments.
As India completed a routine win over a hapless New Zealand squad, a minor furore has been caused by the the release of the latest edition of the ICC test ranking.
While a career-best performance saw Ashwin rise to a career-best number 25 in the rankings, a poor display in the first and only innings, led to Sachin dropping out of the top ten and into eleventh place.
Said Mr. Srinivasan, ‘Who the hell do the ICC think they are, eh? How can they possibly drop Sachin like that? He is a stalwart who has served India nobly for many years and even deserves a chance to represent India in the Olympics. Unfortunately, cricket is not a part of the Olympics and hence he has not represented India. But this is atrocious and uncouth behavior on the part of the ICC by dropping him.’
He continued, ‘We have decided to appeal to the ICC. As a rule, the BCCI is against DRS but as a special case, we have decided to use one appeal for this extraordinary circumstance. By the way, what has he been dropped from?’
When he was made aware of the facts of the case, he was quick to retort, ‘Oh! I see. I think I might have overreacted slightly. When I mean overreacted slightly, I do not allude to my reaction to Sachin being dropped. That is outrageous and preposterous. However, I was not aware of the fact that Ashwin has been promoted up the order. This is indeed a great day for CSK, I mean, Team India. We wish him all the success. Even Pragyan Ojha and Virat Kohli has moved up, it seems but that is none of my concern. I would like to congratulate M.S.Dhoni as well.’
He added, ‘I have spoken to Ashwin and he assures me that he only did it “for Sachin.” Hence, I have decided to drop all charges against the BCCI. But this is the last time that we will tolerate any nonsense of this sort. Besides, only one person in India has the authority to drop Sachin and that is the Chairman of Selectors. Even he cannot directly drop Sachin but can only strategically rest him.’
When Kris Srikkant was approached for a comment, he had this to say, ‘Boss, just shadaap, OK?’
Sachin was not approached for comment.