Gabriella Pasqualotta bares all (Satire)

Gabriella Pasqualotta—the South African cheerleader ejected for telling tales on IPL cricketers—revealed all in an exclusive interview to MakeTimeForSports.

The long-legged blonde said: “I have been victimised not for blogging about cricketers and their boorish behaviour but simply because I chose to disclose all in the English language. Had I written my blog in Afrikaans or Swahili, I could have got away scot-free.”

Gabriella said that her Ukrainian pals were trickling out information on after-match parties as well but in their national language and dialects on East European sites.

“Cricket is barely recognised as a sport there and there is very little interest in cricket-related matters.Neither is the BCCI interested in tracking IPL-related traffic on Russian sites.”

“Indian cheerleaders are recording happenings in their regional languages. These postings too go unnoticed and unremarked upon.” asserted the blonde bombshell.

“I, unfortunately, chose to write in the Queen’s English which did not quite sit well with the powers-that-be.”

When asked about American cheerleaders and whether they, too, were online leaking out party details, Pasqualotta laughed and remarked, “Yes, of course, but then that’s not BBC English they speak. Anyone that pronounces ‘Z’ (Zed) as Zee is definitely not speaking or writing proper English.”

(The character(s) in this post is(are) real but the facts and “quotes” are not. But you knew that already, didn’t you? Doesn’t it say ‘Satire’ in the title?)


Quote of the day: The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man…only five hundred. – Meredith Willson

Brand-new app in a brand-new avatar! Download CricRocket for fast cricket scores, rocket flicks, super notifications and much more! 🚀☄️