Humour: BCCI leak Sachin Tendulkar's 200th Test scorecard to rouse interest

Sachin Tendulkar lifts his bat after reaching 400 in his 200th Test.

Disclaimer: It’s a satirical piece so read at it’s face value. Thank you.

It seems the BCCI is doing everything it can to orchestrate a massive event which could have great historic proportions… No, we’re not talking about the Duleep Trophy.

The BCCI earlier today leaked scorecards of what appears to be Sachin Tendulkar‘s 200th Test, in which the formerly legendary batsman seems to have scored 674 (caught behind) in the first innings and was 322 not out in the second innings with two days’ play still to go.

In an email received by a popular cricket website, BCCI officials seem to be negotiating over what number of runs Tendulkar should score in the second innings so as not to make it seem ‘too orchestrated’. In fact, one of the lines in the email reads: “Haha yeah – after all we don’t want ppl 2 think that this was similar to what we did for the world cup right ;).”

As expected, the scorecard seems to have aroused public interest massively, with billions of Sachin’s fans awaiting to see his hextuple century, in what could possibly be his last Test match. Said one rabid Sachin fan, “I sold off my bike, TV, mobile phone, glasses, pacemaker and son in order to get these golden tattoos of all of Sachin Sir’s innings all over my body. I am proud to add 674 also to this.”, he said with a smile, that extended from the 155 in Chennai to the 0 in Kolkata on his face.

BCCI officials deny allegations. “This scorecard is a total work of fiction. You’re acting as if we’re trying to orchestrate Sachin’s retirement. The West Indies series (so that Sachin could play his 200th in Mumbai in front of adoring crowds and get us massive revenues) is only because of a strategic long-term vision.” Asked if the vision was finally seeing a Test team without Sachin, our reporter was beaten up by another Sachin fan who had sold his kidney to… Oh never mind.

Lest we get carried away by Tendulkar’s potential 1000 runs in the match, let us not forget other stellar performances. Kemar Roach becomes the first man to take a Test hattrick and get carted around for 400 runs in the same innings. Curiously, after Tendulkar was dismissed on 674 (team score 722/4), the rest of the innings fell apart rather quickly, ending at 731. After that, the West Indies were bundled out for 32, with Ravichandran Ashwin taking 8/11. Curiously, despite the substantial lead of 699, India chose not to enforce the follow-on and both Indian openers got out rather quickly, leaving Tendulkar back in the middle.

When asked about this, the BCCI official said, “Ah see, we wanted him to have more match-time so that he could… WAIT WHAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT WHAT LEAKED SCORECARD NOTHING OF THAT SORT DEAR LORD”, he said, hastily realising he said too much.

We’re not exactly implying that the BCCI has its mind ONLY on Tendulkar’s 200th Test, but when our backup reporter asked an official about how the preparations for South Africa were going, he was given this as an answer: “South Africa? Oh nice place! Always wanted to go scuba diving there… Eh? What? Cricket? Series? What are you… Oh yes yes, we’re looking forward to that. Next October, right?”

Sigh.

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PS: For the last time, I do not hate Sachin Tendulkar.