Humour: Dustbin round table discussion- Ashes hashtags

Here’s my hashtag suggestion: #screwPontingImthecaptainnow

We’re just hours away and the hype is building; BBC radio is betraying England fear by pondering how “cranky” (and, therefore, unconfident and caving under pressure) Michael Clarke was in his press conference, Draco Malfoy lookalike crossword questions are appearing in Brisbane newspapers and we should all eat some vegemite on toast while enjoying the disappointment over Graeme Onions.

And ponder this:

Last Ashes the official Twitter hashtag was #ReturntheUrn. It was a disaster waiting to happen, wasn’t it? Way too confident for a side in our condition, it was always going to be mocked.

I didn’t really notice one this time around until today. I don’t know if it’s an official Ashes hashtag but I saw something #UniteAus … ?? ring any bells? It was so drab, I can’t even remember what it was.

Seriously, who comes up with this shit? We’ve gone from totally out-of-whack hubris to super careful, don’t-speak-too-loud-in-case-we’re-wrong-again-and-people-laugh. News flash, Cricket Australia, everybody laughs at you anyway. It’s what helps me sleep well at night.

So, I think we should come up with our own hashtag for the series. Some ideas I’ve come up with so far are simple:

#Pleasedontfail

#atleastwinone

Some are personalised and can probably be used at relevant occasions:

#ChrisRogersisGod

#WhyMitchWhy?

#TwattoFail

#SexyHarris

and, of course, #OurGeorge

Some are slightly more complicated:

#IfwecantwinatPerthshootMitch

#WhatisthePointofTwattoifhedoesntbowl

#JoeRootisWarnersBunny

#HowtomakeBarbieBroadcry

But my all time favourite so far is this one:

#Hopeforinjuriesandamiracleortwoandwemightjustpulladraw