IPL to give 'Emraan Hashmi of the Match' award to spectator checking out cheerleaders

Mumbai. In order to encourage people to buy tickets to watch IPL matches, the BCCI has decided to give awards to viewers in the stadium after each match. Five deserving spectators will be chosen after each match in IPL-5 for awards that have been named after some celebrities. In fact, these awards have been sponsored by these celebrities, who will be paying sponsorship fees to BCCI, making it even richer.

A team of experts will be deputed in various stands to keep an eye over spectators and these experts will submit their report after every match, which will have recommendations for the various awards. For now, IPL-5 will have the following awards for the spectators in the stadium:

Emraan Hashmi of the Match: This award will be won by the person who spends more time ogling the cheerleaders than watching the match. This is expected to be the most competitive category, and most likely the winner could be a man, despite homosexuality being decriminalized. However, experts don’t rule out a woman winning the award in Chennai Super Kings matches, where one sees male cheerleaders. Sources say that the sponsorship amount will be paid by Mahesh Bhatt to promote his upcoming movie Jannat 2.

Deve Gowda of the Match: This award will be won by someone manages to sleep off even during a Twenty20 match. BCCI clarified that their intention was not to encourage people to sleep off during matches, but the sponsorship amount was too lucrative for the board to ignore. Deve Gowda refused to comment whether he approached BCCI or some middleman approached him for this sponsorship opportunity.

Digvijay Singh of the Match: This will be won by the person who can come up with a conspiracy theory to defend the loss of the team he or she supported. Calling the cricketers of the rival team RSS agents will not help anyone win the award as BCCI wants people to think out of the box. Sources say that Vinod Kambli also wanted to sponsor this award but he couldn’t better Digvijay Singh’s offer. Apparently Kambli had asked BCCI to give the Digvijay Singh of the Match award to the person constantly on the phone, and name the conspiracy theory creator award after himself instead.

Suhel Seth of the Match: This award will be handed over to the person with a strong opinion on everything happening on the ground and around. The person who always finds fault with a captain’s team composition, field placements, scheduling of bowlers, etc. and keeps cribbing about ground conditions, flood lights and dressing sense of the person in front of him would be the favorite to win this award.

Shahid Afridi of the Match: The only Pakistani involvement in this year’s IPL will be this award, which will be handed out to a person claiming to have seen things that nobody else could see in the stadium. This is inspired by Shahid Afridi’s claim of watching Sachin Tendulkar’s leg shake while facing Shoaib Akhtar. People claiming things like, “abbey, did you see? That girl in the fifth row kissed her boyfriend!” would also be eligible for the award, BCCI clarified.

BCCI, which sold off TV rights to Star TV for a whopping Rs. 3,851 crore rupees, refused to divulge the sponsorship amounts of the above awards, but sources say that they will definitely help the board recover their office expenses and salaries of experts who’d keep an eye over the spectators.

Sources further claim that the board rejected the idea of a Manmohan Singh of the Match award for a spectator keeping mum throughout the match.

Article published with permission from Faking News