Satire: ECB hires Sherlock to search better English cricketers

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It seems that the British detective Sherlock Holmes has got a new and very important case on his hand. The England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) has asked him, almost begged him to take the case. He is to find ECB better players to represent the English cricket team. After the disastrous Ashes whitewash in Australia, ECB is set to take a strict action against the team, and they are ready to take the help of the legendary detective. ECB spokesperson told the media that there previous strategy of importing players from Ireland, South Africa and of subcontinental origin is not working, and they need to find an expert to sort out this issue (quoting the example of Boyd Rankin, the latest Irishmen imported by the British who could take only 1 wicket in the last Ashes match)

Meanwhile, after the Ashes loss, the England Players are in a terrible condition. Reports say they dream about Johnson and co. bowling furious bouncers at them, and they have even been spotted ‘ducking’ in public places. The British Government meanwhile have banned all ‘Johnson and Johnson’ products all over United Kingdom.

Besides this, ECB have also asked Sherlock to find a rescue place for Nasser Hussain and Sir Geoffrey Boycott as they are cornered at every place by fans and asked about their views to which they can’t find any answers. One angry spectator even asked Nasser, “Who is the ‘donkey’ now?” which Nasser completely ignored and walked away.

When Sherlock was contacted by the media, he said,” It is one of the toughest case for me, and I look forward to solving it. First of all, I would like to suggest the current England Team Captain Alastair Cook to start using my hat as the official Test cap, that would help him ‘THINK’ properly and make him take ‘wise’ decisions. Me and Dr. Watson (that is Sherlock’s companion) would travel various parts of the world and convince good players to play for England instead!”

After the announcement, 221B Baker Street (which is the residence of the detective) was filled with loads and loads of British fans asking Sherlock to put their name in the team suggesting that any of them could play better then the Current English team. When asked about it,Piers Morgan was the name Sherlock says he will consider.

Another bad news for English fans is that Jonathan Trott and Kevin Pietersen have contacted Cricket South Africa for a place in their ‘original’ squad as there is a place vacant in that team because of the retirement of Jacques Kallis. CAB hasn’t given any answer though.

English coach Andy Flower meanwhile said that they will not participate in the upcoming World Cup if required for the preparation of the next Ashes. Fans retorted saying you don’t stand any chance there anyways!

Indian Commentator Ravi Shastri when asked to express his view about the matter said that ‘it was just what the doctor ordered’ for English Cricket!