Satire: Government approves 51% FDI in fast bowling in India

Ishant Sharma’s future looks bleak following this announcement by Government of India

In a historic decision, the UPA government has given the go ahead to the BCCI working committee’s proposal to allow 51% foreign direct investment in India’s fast bowling. It has also relaxed norms for fast bowling coaches to set up their clinics all over the country.

The slew of reforms came in the aftermath of the recent series loss against New Zealand which saw India register its fifth defeat in last seven ODIs.

The proposal had been mooted long ago and after much deliberation with the cabinet and the BCCI president N Srinivasan, the union minister of commerce and industry Anand Sharma, a known cricket enthusiast, announced the reforms.

“FDI in fast bowling will eliminate the sole weak link in the Indian setup and the help the country continue with its growth in the field of cricket. India already is the financial leader in the world of cricket and it is time that it gets reflected on the field so that we can further strengthen our grip on the game”, a joint press release by the government and the BCCI stated.

The BCCI also announced the launch of #ThankYouBCCI campaign on twitter to allow the cricket fans across India to offer their gratitude and receive a picture of Srinivasan, including a personalized message and signature in his handwriting.

The move will enable fast bowling sector giants like Australian Cricket Academy (Brisbane), CSA National Cricket Academy (Johannesburg) and National Cricket Academy (Karachi) to ply their trade in the huge Indian domestic markets of Ranji Trophy and the IPL.

Reacting to the news, Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland said, “Until now we had to deal with an embarrassment of riches in the fast bowling department and resort to gimmicks like rotation policy to give everyone a fair chance. Thanks to the reforms we will have elsewhere to invest and I am sure that the large market of Ranji Trophy will more than be able to accommodate our surpluses. The bowlers will also benefit with the opportunity of having an increased participation in the IPL.”

On the political front, however, the government faced flak from allies and opposition alike . While former ally Trinamool Congress chief Mamata Banerjee alleged that it is a conspiracy on the part of the government to suppress local talents like Ashok Dinda and demanded a rollback on the reforms, the Delhi chief minister Arvind Kejriwal said that such reforms are a blow to the aspirations of the common man who wants to emulate Ishant Sharma.

Samajwadi Party supremo Mulayam Singh Yadav also slammed the decision and called for inclusive growth. He also termed it as a death knell to the already dwindling cottage industry of medium pacers in India.

“Growth is fine but it should not happen at the cost of our own people losing out on their jobs. Medium pacers have always been India’s identity and has given employment to many. We are determined to protect it at any cost. FDI in fast bowling will eat into the IPL spots many of our medium pacers/fast mediums currently hold. Moreover, if the Indian team performs consistently the thriving betting industry, on which many corporates invest heavily, will incur huge losses”, he said.

Incidentally, Uttar Pradesh has emerged as the leading state of the medium pacers cottage industry in recent times, producing trundlers like Praveen Kumar, Rudra Pratap Singh, Sudeep Tyagi and Bhuvneshwar Kumar.

Opposition’s prime ministerial candidate Narendra Modi also came down heavily on the government and promised to implement the Gujarat model on the national scale when voted to power.

“Under my leadership the state of Gujarat has produced a gem like Ravindra Jadeja to the cricketing world and its only a matter of time before Gujarat produces a fast bowler. The congress failed to produce an out and out fast bowler in 60 years, give me 60 months and India will have at least five fast bowlers of its own”, he said.

The experts, though, were of the opinion that it will benefit Indian cricket in the long run. Welcoming the move former opening batsman Sunil Gavaskar said, “Not only are we going to have bowlers of the quality of Dale Steyn and Michell Johnson donning the India shirt but it will also improve India’s batting against fast bowlers. It is a win-win situation”.

Former all-rounder Ravi Shastri echoed Gavaskar’s sentiments and said it is exactly what the doctor ordered for Indian cricket. He also observed that in the end cricket will be the real winner.

Meanwhile, the suspended IPL commissioner Lalit Modi took to the micro blogging site twitter and launched a scathing attack on the BCCI president, accusing him of “orchestrating the FDI move” to suit his own interests. He tweeted, ” FDI in fast bowling is a ploy orchestrated by Srini and Co to further their agenda. Hope courts intervene”.

Disclaimer: This article is a work of fiction, and upcoming military medium pacers need not worry about switching professions already.