The great debate

The folks from the United States may be great at quite a many things. They may be great at creating a brand like McDonalds. They may be great at producing some fantastic movies. They may even be great at bringing the world to the brink of financial collapse. There is however, one thing that they are not great at. In fact they’re downright pathetic at it. It’s Cricket.

Just because they believe that cricket is better as an insect than a game, they somehow think it is their divine right to judge that baseball (yes, I was as incredulous as you are, about their daftness on this subject) is superior to cricket. Naturally, being a great supporter of the gentlemen’s game, I believe that it is my solemn duty to compare the two sports in a comprehensive and unbiased manner and determine once and for all which the greater sport is. What’s better than a 5-game series?

Game 1: The scores

A game of baseball stretches for hours on end and finished with scorelines of 5-3 and 6-2. You have got to be kidding me! Surely, if Courtney Walsh batted left handed for three hours or more, he would score more than that. Hence, for sheer entertainment value, cricket trumps baseball.

Cricket 1

Baseball 0

Game 2: The formats

Cricket has 3 formats – the tests (for the purists, and the Laundromat), One Day Internationals (for Dhoni to regain form, mostly) and T20s (for the promotion of the IPL). Baseball has only one form. Well, there is softball but people throw underarm in that. Only Greg Chappell issues orders to throw underarm and we don’t particularly like that (Or in the case of Indians –subset: Ganguly fans – him). Hence, for sheer variety, cricket beats baseball.

Cricket 2

Baseball 0

Game 3: The bat

The modern cricket bat is a wonderful piece of meat; as close to meat as a willow will come, anyway. It is a machine that is designed to whack the poor ball out of shape and out of the ground every time the opportunity presents itself. However, the coolness factor has to go the way of the baseball bat. I mean, you don’t really see too many of those street thugs smashing windows with a cricket bat. Smashing windows is much more conducive to the baseball bat swing rather than an elegant straight drive or the subtle leg glance. Hence, for versatility, the baseball bat wins.

Cricket 2

Baseball 1

Game 4: The scoring areas

Have you witnessed a game of baseball? If yes, then you must surely have seen those tall posts that indicate foul lines. Translated into cricketing terms, it approximately means that anything behind square on either the off or the leg side is deemed unlawful and runs cannot be scored. I can see the outrage building in you. Let me fuel the fire. Imagine a game without Azhar’s flicks off the wrists or that of VVS. Imagine a game without Sachin’s upper cut; without Vishy’s late cut. For all you T20 loyalists out there, imagine a game without the DilScoop. Difficult to imagine? Well, not really. Just go watch baseball. Hence, for sheer variety of shot selection, cricket flicks baseball to the fence behind square.

Cricket 3

Baseball 1

Game 5: Balls, no-balls and strikes

What happens when the ball is bowled outside the wide-line? The umpire signals a wide. Now, what happens when a full toss is bowled above waist height? The umpire signals a no-ball. Clear cut, neat and precise. In baseball, both a wide and a no-ball is just called a ball. Confused? Hang on.

Now imagine a peach of a delivery that jags back off the seam and beats the batsman all ends up. What do you expect? The stump to cartwheel out of the ground and the batsman to walk back to the pavilion, yes? Well, no. in baseball, this is a ‘strike’, and you have to get three of these for the batsman to be declared out. I know. Baldersash.

Hence, for sheer simplicity, unambiguity and better rules, cricket scores over baseball.

Final score:

Cricket 4

Baseball 1

I could include other factors like how the cricket world cup actually includes teams from all over the world while the world series is held between teams from America, and well, America; or the fact that cricket has Sreesanth while baseball does not but that would only be embarrassing for baseball. I believe I have made my point and have settled once and for all, which the better sport is.

Americans might say, ‘it’s just not cricket’ but I think we all know that it just is, no?

In retrospect, however, I don’t really think I need have gone through all this trouble. I could have just listened to Ravi Shastri.

After all, in the end, cricket is the real winner.