Since doing predictions is the easiest thing in the world, I will gather by wits and make predictions so that you can bookmark this page and ridicule me at my Twitter handle when none of this comes true (Product placement at its best).
Anyhow, back to the matter at hand, the Premier League (the best League in the world and all that) has been at its unpredictable best in the last two years or so. It is like trying to make sense of ‘The Scream’ by Edvard Munch, so if any of this comes true, you must and must remember that you read it here first.
#5 Sunderland to go down as Newcastle return to the Premier League
The Tyne-Wear derby is hands down one of the most entertaining of games in the Premier League. Entertaining in every sense of the word, dirty (114 yellow cards, 4 red cards since 2001), crowd troubles, the banter between fans, and od course the hatred. Also, it means a lot, don’t believe me? Check out Mirovic’s celebration last time the two played.
But with Newcastle at the top of the Championship and going from strength to strength under Rafael Benítez (call him a fat Spanish waiter now), it is more than likely that the famous black and white stripes will be back in the Premier League soon. Sunderland though increasingly look like a team managed by David Moyes and are at the bottom of the League with no inspiration in sight.
I have a feeling if this happens, Twitter will be an amazing place not to be for Sunderland fans for at least a year.
#4 Arsene Wenger signs a new 2-year contract at Arsenal
With Arsenal’s brilliant performances this season, this is an inevitability. They have finally invested in a tall and strong defensive midfielder and a fearsome centre-back who scares opposition by only glancing at them (like he did at Robert Lewandowski).
They have progressed to the quarterfinals of the FA Cup with an incredible performance over heavyweights (of the Sunday League) Sutton. They will most probably come back from behind and beat Bayern Munich; they lost the first leg in 15 minutes anyway, they were quite good for the rest of the game.
I am sure; Arsenal Fan TV will also agree with me on this one. Plus, winning the FA Cup is a massive achievement.
#3 Mauricio Pochettino gets poached by one of the Spanish giants
There has been a lot of talk of Jurgen Klopp taking over from Luis Enrique since they lost against PSG, but for me, Mauricio Pochettino has got to be the man. We have all seen what happens to non-Spanish speaking managers in Spain (read Gary Neville).
To Mauricio’s credit, he has done an excellent job at almost each and every one of his clubs. With Tottenham soon to hit their ceiling of success, he is more than likely to say yes when one of the Spanish big boys (inevitably) come calling.
Zinedine Zidane seems to be on the safer side, but it doesn’t take a lot for the white handkerchiefs to come out at the Santiago Bernabeu.
#4 Brendan Rodgers gets another Premier League job
To be honest, Celtic seems like the pretty little home that Brendan deserves to have. Celtic are at the moment 24 points ahead of their closest rivals Aberdeen in the Scottish Premier League, and will probably walk to the title.
But, you have got to believe that deluded Brendan belongs to the Premier League (and I am sure he agrees too). There are so many clubs who would be perfect for him(read Stoke City, Southampton and West Ham.)
Okay, now to the real reason I want him back in the Premier League, it is so heartwarming to see a manager say, “"I thought we were excellent. We didn't get the win, but our overall game was outstanding,” after a loss. Or something like, “We play with 11 men, other teams play with ten men and a goalkeeper”. Priceless.
#5 Cristiano Ronaldo comes back to Manchester United
Come on; even you want to see this happen. A striking partnership of Cristiano Ronaldo and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Come to think of it, that is way too much ego for a country leave alone a club. But, with the spending spree, Manchester United and their constant thirst for every marketable object, CR7 is a brand they would be desperate to add at Old Trafford.
Manchester United fans won’t mind, probably Real Madrid ones won’t too, and I am sure as hell that Jose Mourinho won’t mind. There is the small deal of a transfer fee that needs be agreed between the two parties, something I am sure Ed Woodward would, with one hand inside his pants.
