A Flight of Fancy Okay, I've got too much time on my hands and too much football is running through my head, so I'll try and dissect, analyse, slot goals into different compartments and scribble some bollocks. I generally have tended to categorize goals into five different brackets:-
#5 Goal Poach
These might look pretty easy to your naked lens but there’s more to the picture than meets the eye. You stand in the six yard box with a hound like predatorial skills, mid-fielders do all the creativity, you smell blood, you're in perfect position to receive your final ball, and then it's a simple tap-in. Mastery in aerial ability and clever finishing, scissor kicks, that quick turn to eke out that vital yard and bullet headers are some of the traits imperative to succeed.
Supremely gifted strikers such as Ruud Van Nistelrooy [Manchester United and Real Madrid], Andriy Shevchenko [AC Milan and Chelsea], Alan Shearer [Blackburn Rovers and Newcastle United], Michael Owen [Liverpool and Real Madrid] and Jürgen Klinsmann [Stuttgart and Bayern Munich] fit perfectly into this category.
#4 Dead Balls/Set-Pieces
Pretty much self-explanatory, I reckon. These are towering headers from corners and free kicks like Materazzi’s against France in the final in Germany '06, the quickly taken goal by the Argentines against England, Beckham’s redeeming penalty in Japan/South Korea ‘02 against said Argentina, Zinedine Zidane's curling free kick in the final minutes of Euro '04 league stage against England, his panenka penalty kick in the final in Germany '06.
Umpteen number of imperious free kicks from the likes of Andrea Pirlo and Juninho, who have tormented their oppositions with their dead ball artistry for coon's age.
#3 Team Effort
I cannot under estimate the importance of such goals. These goals are also Arsene Wenger's personal favourites. It's not about dazzlingly swashbuckling skills from one particular player but a more cohesive effort from an entire team which involves quick intricate one touch passing football famously fashioned and championed by teams such as Barcelona, Arsenal, and Holland of '74. These are goals that are pure beauty; goals that you can watch over and over again because of their sheer artistic brilliance and timing.
Some examples include Argentina's 26-pass goal eventually netted by Esteban Cambiasso against Serbia and Montenegro in Germany '06, Arsenal's goal against Norwich City scored by Jack Wilshere in the EPL 2013-14, or James Rodriguez's recent exploits against Uruguay in Brazil ‘14 where movements shifted from left to right, right to left, left to right again, a cushion header to the Columbian goal poacher James Rodriguez in the six yard box who drilled in like a charm.
These kinds of goals require inch perfect passes, accurate weight on the ball, switching positions, constant movement to create space, peripheral vision, acute awareness and positional timing to receive your final ball.
#2 Individual Brilliance
As the caption suggests, these are one of those jaw-dropping moments which leave you gasping for breath courtesy some breath-taking individual magic and trickery. Some classic examples include El Diego's annihilation of England in Mexico '86, 19 year old wonder kid Leo Messi's blitzkrieg run against Getafe in the Copa del Rey '07, Robben's solo effort against Australia in Brazil '14 and Thierry Henry's goal against Liverpool in EPL 2003-04.
It all begins with a slow build up in your own half, then a sudden burst of pace concocted with astonishing dribbling skills as these geniuses with the ball run past the opposition players like a Gazelle, twisting and turning one after the other. However, the final is only achieved when they bury the ball in the net with absolute nonchalance.
#1 Technical Masterclass
This has to be my “numero uno” and personal favourite. These goals are one of those rare sights of a comet hitting the skylight experience. It hits your heart like a thunderbolt but you don't realize the brilliance of it for quite a while. But when it does, it stays with you for eternity.
In the game of cricket, a straight-drive or a cover-drive maybe the most popular form of shot, or in other words a crowd favourite. But you ask any cricketer what is the most difficult shot to play, he'll tell you it's the on-drive pierced through mid-on and mid-wicket [VVS Laxman] or a back foot punch played on the rise through the off-side on a quick bouncy wicket [Sachin Tendulkar].
To exemplify a similar allegory/analogy in football, Zinedine Zidane's unthinkable volley against Bayer Leverkusen in 2002 UCL Final in Glasgow Scotland, Australia's Tim Cahill pile driver of a volley against Netherlands in Brazil '14, or more recently, Colombia's James Rodrigues left-footed dipping volley cushioned off his chest against Uruguay in Brazil ‘14. For me, these are the on-drives and the back foot punches of football. A visceral experience!
