Top 8 fittest football players in the world

They maynot be macho men with six-packs. They may not have the Johnny Bravo V that makes you marvel at their bodies. Butboy, these men are fitter than the proverbial fiddle. Here are the top eight fittest football players in the world right now.

#8 Luis Suarez

Let me get this straight – Suarez is not a dog. He is hundred percent human. However, he does share two traits with Canis familiaris.

One has been gone over time and again, and I will save you the ennui of having to read about that for the gazillionth time. The other, lesser publicised dog-like trait of El Pistolero is his doggedness.

Luis Suarez has immense stamina coupled with cutting-edge speed, not to mention exceptional fitness. Suarez played 2,963 out of a possible 2,970 minutes last season, tearing away at defences. Apart from his stamina and goal-scoring hunger, Suarez is also incredibly flexible and quick, scoring from a number of positions and angles.

He never stops for a breather. He never ceases to hunt down his prey. He’s always sniffing for a chance.

Luis Suarez has the grit of a Siberian husky, the wherewithal of a Chesapeake Bay Retriever, the speed of a greyhound, the intelligence of a poodle and the hunting instinct of a Labrador retriever.

#7 Petr Cech

Petr Cech must surely have a pair of earphones beneath that headgear of his while he keeps, playing Chumbawamba’s Tubthumping on loop, because if there’s one song that can sum up Chelsea's estranged No.1, that has to be it.

Unlike most of the other players on the list, Cech has been victim of injury time and again. In fact, he came within an inch of losing his life on the pitch after sustaining a horrendous head injury that ripped out two pieces of his skull, leaving his brain exposed and vulnerable to the elements. Success in surgery however, saved him from death’s clasp.

Cech made his return three months later and hasn’t looked back since, breaking and setting records left, right and centre. That is why he is the fittest goalkeeper in the world.

Alas, he is no longer Chelsea’s first-choice goalkeeper despite winning the Golden Glove Award in the league for the 2013-14 season.

Seldom do people return from the grave. Even less often do people return from the grave and play sport, let alone a sport like football. Petr Cech has not only returned from the grave and played football, but he has conquered it too.

#6 Ricardo Rodriguez

The Bundesliga’s sole representative in this list, Switzerland’s 2014 Player of the Year played every minute of Wolfsburg’s 2013-14 league campaign, to great effect. He was the standout performer in the team, his buccaneering runs and piercing delivery accounting for the most number of assists for a defender in all of Europe.

Wolfsburg finished the league fifth place last season, a massive improvement from the previous season’s lowly 11th, and they had the 22-year-old left-back to credit for this achievement. Considered by many as Englishman Leighton Baines’ doppelganger, Rodriguez’s never-ending reserves of energy and set-piece duties make him one of the better full-backs in the German top-flight.

At only 22, Ricardo Rodriguez promises much. Whether or not he can make it big remains to be seen. So as of now, he is the Bundesliga’s fittest player.

Fun fact: Ricardo Rodriguez completed more successful dribbles than Ronaldo, more successful passes than Andrea Pirlo and more assists than Eden Hazard last season.

#5 Dani Alves

If a full-back completes more passes than any other player in the Champions League group stages, it can mean one of two things:

1) He is an excuse for a full-back, and is a full-back only in title, not discharging his primary duty of defending. In other words, he is a fail-back, not a full-back, for he does not fall back.

2) He is an extraordinarily-endowed full-back with unending reserves of stamina who discharges his defensive duties so well that he even has time to venture into the opposition half. In other words, he is a fuel-back.

Which brings us to Dani Alves. Sonic The Hedgehog, as goes his moniker, completed 276 passes in the Champions League a couple of years ago, the highest in the competition and a whopping 1604 passes in the La Liga last season, making him the league's 10th highest. So which of the two is our Brazillian and Barcelona full-back?

Well, Pep Guardiola sure considered Dani Alves the best player in the world after Messi. And Pep’s word is credible. Adidas, too, brand Dani Alves as the quintessential engine.

Now that you've read this, you're probably wondering, "Why's he fifth on this list if he's that good?" Unfortunately, Dani Alves, at 31, is not the same fuel-back he used to be. Such has been his fall that he now has to contend for the right back position in Barcelona, something that he once owned, and redefined.

#4 Dirk Kuyt

Mr. Duracell Bunny can never stop running. Dirk Kuyt, the second oldest player at Brazil for the World Cup, averaged 11.78 kilometres (Thomas Mueller, leading the list averaged 12 kilometres) an appearance despite coming off the bench on two occasions.

The last existing exponent of Johan Cryuff’s iconic Total Football, Kuyt has indeed played in every position on the pitch, barring between the sticks and at centre back. He has no standard position, although he occupies the paradoxical forward defensive winger more often than any other position.

The indefatigable Dutchman, famously known for missing only five matches during a span of seven seasons, announced his retirement from international football a couple of weeks ago, reminding us that he, too, is only human.

But on the bright side, at least the legend of Dirk Kuyt still lives on, in Fenerbahce, and is not scripted to stop anytime soon. That’s because the Dirk Kuyt express goes on and on forever.

#3 Paul Pogba

The Golden Boy of European football is invincible and infallible. He is yet to succumb to injury in his (not-so-long) illustrious career. Considering the fact that he ran more distance (11.5 kilometres per game in the Champions League) than any other player representing Italy or the Serie A in European competitions, this is no mean feat. But what makes it truly remarkable is the fact that Paul Pogba has played more minutes than any other player below the age of 23 in all of Europe over the last 15 months, and has not sustained the slightest scratch.

For someone at the tender age of 21 – an age where excessive playing can lead to injury, burnout or just stagnation – Pogba has not fallen prey to either, and has, in fact, shone like a knight in chinkless armour, earning the title of being Europe's best young player. He has often been the standout performer in a midfield comprising the likes of Pirlo and Vidal, such is his arete.

Paul Pogba is fast becoming one of the best midfielders in the modern game, and if his body perform in this superhuman manner, brace yourself, for he seems to be a real legend in the making.

#2 Cesar Azpilicueta

Jose Mourinho belives that a team with 11 Azpilicueta's can win the Champions League

Looks sure can be deceptive, as ‘Dave’ (and this sentence) demonstrates. Scrawny and unassuming, Cesar Azpilicueta is one of the fittest players to grace football. He probably doesn’t put in the hours at the bench-press, and he certainly isn’t Chelsea’s poster-boy, but the Spaniard’s appearance is decieving, just like the pronunciation of his name. For, despite being right-footed, Azpilicueta has tucked into the left-back position with minimal fuss and maximum efficacy. This speaks volumes of his training commitment, work rate, and ultimately, his fitness.

Cesar Azpilicueta was taken off only thrice in his Chelsea career, missing only 51 minutes of playing time in over two seasons, during which, despite plying his trade in an unnatural position, he made an astounding 3.4 tackles per game, more than any other Premier League full-back.

What really distinguishes Azpilicueta from other players boasting supreme fitness is his power. At 5’8 and 70 kg, Cesar Azpilicueta gives Rory Delap a run for his money, with the longest throw-in’s in the world.

If there’s anything better than Azpilicueta’s tackling, it’s his work rate, and if there’s anything better than his work rate, it’s his fitness.

Also, if there’s anything longer than Cesar’s name, it’s his throw-in’s.

#1 Cristiano Ronaldo

While there may be split opinion on whether Cristiano Ronaldo is the best player in the world right now, no one can deny that he is the fittest player in the world at the moment. Even his detractors would have to be completely bonkers to dispute this, for if there ever was a reincarnation of Hercules, son of Zeus, it would have to be Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro.

Ronaldo, now pushing 30, is relatively new to every football player's ineluctable nightmare – injury. Last season, he suffered only his fourth bout of injury hiatus in his 12-year long career, averaging one bout every three years. Simply put, Ronaldo averages over a thousand days (or 145 matches) of high-octane football betweeen his injury bouts. That's inhuman!

And if that isn't enough to warrant being the fittest in the world, look no further than his body. With thighs the size of cows, the Ballan d'Or recipient has enough ammunition to bring down the white house (and smite thee's spouse). He has been proven to lift 16 Toyota Prius cars in a full weight training session, run the equivalent distance from Madrid to Lisbon, sprint 900 times more in a season than an Olympic sprinter, strike his free-kicks faster than the Apollo 11 space rocket at blast-off, so on and so forth.

I amend my statement. Ronaldo is no Hercules; he is a reincarnation of Zeus, father of Hercules.