Ways in which parents unknowingly have a negative impact on their children
As a parent, unknowingly, you can have a negative impact on your children. We have been influenced by our parents, and we may also do so for our children.
Think about your present self, and think about how much you resemble your parents. While all parents want their children to become a better version of themselves, sometimes things happen quite differently.
One of the most common things that unknowingly gets transferred is trauma. Parents are children of their primary caregivers. While we can't track exactly how and what's transferred, trauma can show in ways they respond to their child. For instance, a parent who's unaware of their needs is likely to not respond well to a child's needs.
How can parents have a negative impact on children?
It becomes imperative to become aware of how your parenting is influencing your child. That helps you establish a more authentic relationship.
It also means that you recognize your imperfections as a parent and acknowledge that you are willing to learn. Here are some specific ways in which you may negatively impact them:
#1 Abandonment concerns
One of the most common ways in which parents have a negative impact on children is that they may experience abandonment issues or separation anxiety.
Unintentionally, sometimes children get left behind or parents forget about them. For instance, if you ever had to wait back in school because your parents forgot to pick you up, you would naturally be scared.
#2 Over-protective parents
Sometimes children may end up feeling suffocated due to overprotection by parents. Strict parenting styles make the child anxious.
They fear all the moves they make and often suffer from low self-esteem. Coddling type of parenting can have a negative impact on a child's autonomy.
Sometimes, children just need a few words of comfort and support. They may be words of encouragement after failing a task or words of support after making a mistake. However, sometimes their needs are not met, leading to early childhood wounds.
We want the best for our children. Even though those standards are not their own, we still want them to meet them.
That often leads us to compare them with their siblings, neighbors' children or the top student of the class. Unfortunately, comparisons instill fear and anxiety in them, limiting their potential.
Perhaps the biggest negative impact on children is shaming them. If chronic in nature, shaming can also take the form of verbal abuse.
Parents may call out their children based on their physical appearance, academic performance or any other area of their lives. Shaming significantly influences how children feel about themselves.
#6 Spending less time
We live in an age where both parents are working. While it's highly recognized that young children need the most support, it's also true for children of other ages. Spending less time with them pushes them to feel isolated. If they have any concerns to share, it becomes difficult for them to do so.
No child deserves to feel abandoned, abused or left out. Even though we don't want to, our actions may have a negative impact on children. Some children may not be able to recover from these effects and, as a result, find it difficult to establish a warm connection while growing up.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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