5 Match stipulations WWE would NOT have today
When WWE announced that it was moving back to presenting a 'TV-14' product, many fans began reminiscing about the Attitude Era. Even to this day, that period is the stuff of legend.
Somewhere between suplexes and strippers, this magical time in the promotion is often looked at with rose-colored glasses. It's easy to point to the exploits of The Rock, Steve Austin and D-Generation X, but there was almost just as much 'garbage time' then as there is now.
Even the Ruthless Aggression Era gave us some real stinkers for stipulations. For every classic battle that we frame in our memories, there are a dozen tasteless or silly matches that took place over the span of those years.
Many of those angles and the match stipulations that came with them could NEVER re-surface in WWE today. Here's a list of five stips that the 'E' couldn't get away with in 2022.
#5 - The Kennel from Hell Match
Let's get one of the most ridiculous ones out of the way right off the bat.
When Al Snow took on The Big Bossman in a Kennel from Hell match, it wasn't just a stupid setting - the storyline was as tasteless as you could possibly get.
Without going into too much detail, Snow was out to avenge the murder of his dog, Pepper. He met WWE's resident bad cop in a steel cage with Hell in a Cell surrounding it. Outside the ring, a pack of 'rabid' dogs were waiting for whoever was unfortunate enough to leave the apron.
The problem was that these dogs weren't really all that interested in the two combatants. They spent most of the contest sniffing around for a place to mark their territory or barking at each other.
Based on the utter foolishness of this match alone? It will never occur again in WWE.
#4 - The Las Vegas Showgirls Match
Considering the complete lack of regard for the LGBTQ community, WWE staged this 'match' when they were in SIn City for an episode of RAW. William Regal had to meet up with Goldust, but he had to spin a roulette wheel to determine the type of match.
The dial landed on a Las Vegas Showgirls Match, where the performers had to dress up like fan dancers. Somewhere on The Strip that night, Regal could be spotted in a black cocktail dress. Goldust, meanwhile, just pulled something old out of the closet.
With sensitivity issues already being made public, it's doubtful that WWE will ever cross this line again, lest they be picketed and protested by special interest groups. This type of humor - typically based on fear and prejudice - will never rear its head again in the 'E'.
#3 - Valets on the line as part of a grudge match
In Sports Entertainment's version of human trafficking, several female managers and valets were literally used as poker chips in high stakes battles. Not only was it incredibly degrading, it typically added little to nothing to the storyline in question.
Not only are these kinds of stipulations completely played out in 2022, WWE would likely be met by protests from women's groups. Given the concerns about its public perception and the feelings of its stockholders, there's no way creative would try to pull a stunt like this again.
#2 - The 'Kiss My A**' clause disappeared with Vince McMahon's departure from the promotion
This is another one that was always a head-scratcher. Trying to get Mr. McMahon's character over as a heel is one thing, but this took it to an almost fetish-type level.
For some odd reason, Vince McMahon decided to start a club where his enemies would have to literally pucker up and kiss that McA**. No one's sure why, but Sigmund Freud might tell you that Mr. McMahon had a defective highchair as a child.
That's really all the psychology you can apply to this ridiculous premise that did absolutely NOTHING for WWE programming. Thankfully, with McMahon stepping away from his chairman and onscreen duties, we will never have to endure the image of his old, dimpled backside again.
#1 - WWE will avoid Bikini and Evening Gown Matches going forward
Needless to say, there's absolutely NO WAY that matches where a performer has to strip their opponent down will ever happen again in WWE. Basically, any sexual exploitation of women will always be a no-no within the promotion from here on out. Onscreen depictions or not.
This policy is pretty much in place already, but based on recent events, it's likely carved in stone now.
Based on the recent PR nightmare regarding Vince McMahon, the promotion will avoid anything that might shine a light on its historical mistreatment of females.
WWE is much more likely to save their TV-14 rating for profanity and brutality, not sexuality. As far as that aspect of the programming is concerned? They might as well be dead and buried.