Indian selectors pick World Cup squad for other teams

BCCI also unveiled the new logo and mascot for the World Cup

After many experts in sportskeeda.com and other cricket websites had already come up with their XV which should do duty for India in World Cup 2011, the Indian Selectors decided that they would, instead, now select the squad for other teams participating in the World Cup. The chairman of selectors, Krishnamachari Srikkanth said that there was no need to select an Indian team again as he was strictly against duplication of work, explaining the only reason he did not score many runs towards the end of his career, was because he had already done that when he started playing for the country. Another selector, Narendra Hirwani also echoed his thoughts saying, “What’s the point of doing the same things repeatedly. Did you ever see me taking 16 wickets again after I had done it in my debut match”.

There were some irate journalists at the press conference after the Indian selectors announced the Sri Lankan squad. They questioned the omission of the likes of HMRKB Herath, DPMD Jayawardhena, HKSK Randiv, KMDN Kulasekara, BMAJ Mendis and NLTC Perera. They reasoned they were good enough to make the cut for the World Cup. They concerns were answered when the selectors pointed out that the board was strictly against long acronyms in cricket – trying to justify its refusal to endorse UDRS (Umpire Decision Review System).

In an apparent change of heart, the Indian selectors decided to pick the banned players in the Pakistan team for the World Cup. When asked if this softening of stance had anything to do with the overturn of the ban on Rajasthan Royals in IPL, Shashank Manohar, the BCCI President who was also present in the press conference replied in the negative. He went on to quote Abraham Lincoln and said, “I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.” He immediately swore under his breath and made a note to organize all RR matches in Cherrapunjee, so that they would be rained out. His swearing was caught by a hidden microphone and the tapes were leaked by WikiLeaks. Open Magazine and Outlook were the first to break the news, while NDTV and CNN-IBN did not cover the story because they claimed there was nothing to show ‘quid pro quo’ in those tapes.

The selectors also said that all selected Pakistan players will need to have functional email IDs. When asked to explain this strange clause, a spokesperson for the BCCI clarified that the Indian bookies will not be able to contact them through mobile, as services have been disabled in their mobile phones, after they ignored requests by the mobile operators to re-submit their documents as per a government mandate.

The Indian selectors selected a second string team for Australia and England. When asked, if the respective boards did not object to this sinister act by the Indians, the selectors explained that both the nations were so deeply engrossed in the Ashes that they hardly have time to focus on anything else. These boards did not even reciprocate when the BCCI had poked them on Facebook. But they did face objection from one quarter. Mitchell Johnson tweeted that how could he be omitted from a second string attack, that too by just any other board. The reference to ‘any other board’ obviously did not go well with Indian board, who made it clear who exactly rules the roost in international cricket. They tweeted back saying, “We‘re BCCI, Mitch”.

Meanwhile, apart from selecting the West Indies team, BCCI also resolved the age-long crisis between West Indies Cricket Board and West Indies Player’s Association after it had sent, on special request, Niira Radia to lobby between them. As a goodwill gesture, the West Indians team have sent back Ramnaresh Sarwan to India, because, for some reasons known only to them (and Rajnikanth), he was not being picked by them anyways.

Talking about goodwill gestures, the Indian board also gifted Ravindra Jadeja to the New Zealand team for playing the way they have been doing. Gambhir was particularly impressed with the Kiwis because of the way they have been leaking runs while bowling and leaking wickets while batting. The BCCI dubbed this generosity by the New Zealand team as ‘KiwiLeaks’.