Satire: Rohit Sharma to lead Team India

Rohit Sharma, India’s new hero who played a breath-taking innings against England in the 4th ODI, has been named the captain of the Indian Team across all formats. Chairman of selectors Sandeep Patil today announced that Rohit was the obvious choice.

Say hello, to India’s new skipper.

“Even Tendulkar was ordinary and averaged 30 before he became an opener. We see the next Tendulkar in Rohit Sharma. We don’t want to make the same mistake we did with Tendulkar by not giving him a chance to lead the side early on in his career. Rohit is our unanimous choice,” he said.

Rohit Sharma, a firm believer of the saying, ‘slow and steady wins the race’, also crossed 2000 ODI runs yesterday, in his 87th ODI. He is believed to have found his form after 25 years. As MS Dhoni said yesterday, the Indian think tank always believed Rohit had special talent. BCCI President N Srinivasan came out in support of Rohit Sharma and said, “Rohit will win us the 2015 and 2019 World Cup. Wait and watch.”

Many believed that Virat Kohli was India’s next choice captain after MS Dhoni. But recent failures in games where even Ravindra Jadeja scored runs took him out of contention. Kohli, when asked to react to this decision of the BCCI, had plenty to say. Since everything had to be censored, the quotes are not included here.

MS Dhoni, despite being sacked from captaincy, had plenty of kind words to say about Rohit Sharma. “Well, of course. I’ve seen him grow under me. He was my most treasured weapon at the nets. Our bowlers were totally out of confidence once and Rohit brought it back. He’s the future”, said Mahi with a grin on his face.

Harsha Bhogle who once used the same quote to describe Sachin Tendulkar‘s elegance said, “When Rohit Sharma plays shots like these, the world seems to be a much better place”. He didn’t stop there. “However, I don’t remember when was the last time he made the world seem such a better place”, Bhogle added.

“Rohit Sharma will surely become India’s best all-rounder in the days to come. Now that he’s the captain, hope he will bowl a lot more”, said India’s famous all-rounder Sunil Joshi.

“Rohit’s innings also justified the cliche, ‘Form is temporary. Class is permanent’. Well, of course, what he showed yesterday was form, not class”, said another Rohit Sharma fan, Sunil Gavaskar.

Australian captain Michael Clarke said this decision from the BCCI has brought down the confidence of his team, and they are worried about touring India next month. “We’re ready for a whitewash. 4-0 it will be. Rohit will be the game-changer”, said Clarke with a tinge of sarcasm that nobody understood.

If Rohit Sharma continues to play like this, he might be India’s answer to Hashim Amla. He already showed signs of the Dravid in him by agreeing to open the innings when the team needed him to. It remains to be seen if he becomes India’s best captain ever and goes on to break all records.