10 worst video game protagonists of all time

One of the vital cogs in a video games success, besides its story, setting, graphics, and playability is its main protagonists. After all you can’t have a successful video game if your main characters are a bunch of bumbling idiots. In all honest after you’ve played a few hours of the game you find yourself forming an extremely special connection with the protagonists, with the Call of Duty series being a prime example of that fact.

However almost every fact in life has its exceptions, and while there are some protagonist that really leave a lasting impression on you there are others that make you question why they lasted at all. Let’s find out who some of these annoying characters are in this list of the 10 worst video game protagonists of all time.

The Dog (Duck Hunt)

I thank my lucky stars for not being born at the time this hideous character was created. Not only does he ruthlessly laugh at you when you fail to shoot a duck, but refuses to die when you aim your bullets at him. And to think he was the first video game character many kids who played video games for the first time saw. If I were in their place and found myself getting laughed at by this vicious dog I’d surely wish the Nintendo zapper worked as effectively in real life as it did in the game. Anyhow even after over three decades the Dog still continues his reign as one video game protagonist we love to hate, and will most likely be at the top for years to come.

Baby Mario (Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island)

I can’t believe a character who is so incredibly awesome as an adult was so annoying as a kid. One thing’s for sure adding Baby Mario into the Mario world was one of Nintendo’s biggest mistakes. The main thing that ups the annoying factor of Baby Mario is that the second he’s separated from his dinosaur friend Yoshi he wails so loudly that one can safely say that his crying is as effective as Black Canary’s ‘Canary Cry’ or the bawling of Shinzo from Ninja Hattori. Another major annoyance is his tendency to get kidnapped a few seconds after he’s separated. I’d strongly recommend the mute button for this one.

Roman Bellic (Grand Theft Auto IV)

Okay don’t get me wrong - what happened to Roman or his wife (Depending which ending you get) was really tragic and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but I feel the major part of his sufferings was brought on all by himself. Roman becomes a real pain in the rear to his brother Niko who almost always has to clean up after him and protect him from loan sharks and what not. Not to forget how he corned Niko about living a life of luxury, when in reality he was just tipping the line of poverty. All in all we’d be a lot better off if this protagonist wasn’t such a dolt.

Ashley Graham (Resident Evil 4)

It isn’t hard to believe Ashley Graham, one of the protagonist of Resident Evil 4, was the President’s daughter because she was so used to a Secret Service detail hovering over her that she couldn’t defend herself to save her life – which a major requirement in the world of Resident Evil. Graham is so incapable of defending herself that poor Leon has to literally go out of his way to protect this highly irritating damsel in distress (or one that gives us stress). In fact she annoys one to such an extent that you almost wish the virus that she’s infected with transforms her into a creature that can only be stopped if it’s eradicated. All in all I’d say Ashley is the spanner in the works of otherwise one of the best games of 2005.

Slippy Toad (Star Fox 64)

Okay Slippy Toad’s mechanical genius is second to none, in fact I’d call him the Spock of the Star Fox crew, but his awesomeness ends quickly one he starts acting like a major league jackass. Slippy’s annoying, screechy voice combined with his tendency to almost always get in the line of fire of enemy shooters and put Fox through the trouble of rescuing him make him a real headache. However his technical expertise, as mentioned before, is indeed remarkable which makes him a necessary eyesore.

Natalya (Goldeneye 007)

I’ve had the pleasure of playing Goldeneye years after its original release and besides thoroughly enjoying the game due to it being based on one of my favourite movie characters also found it one of the best first person shooters of all time despite many modern contemporaries having superior graphics than the 1997 game. However one thing that bugged me and the over eight million players before me was the character of Natalya, based on the hacker from the film. Not only does she have an annoying tendency to get in the way of villains, but also acts as a major foil to Bond’s otherwise awesome missions. Rare Ltd, the amazing developers of Goldeneye, should have really done better when it came to programming her.

Princess Peach (Super Mario series)

No list of annoying video game protagonists would be complete without including Princess Peach. I mean no one, I repeat, NO ONE can be so prone to kidnapping IN THEIR OWN CASTLE just a while after a good Samaritan went over and above to rescue them. Unfortunately that’s the sad story of Princess Peach, who like a true blonde doesn’t have the sense to increase security in her castle in order to prevent her from being snatched by Browser. Poor Mario has to bust a gut to rescue her barely a while after her returned her safely to the kingdom. You got to commend the man for his patience if I were him I’d definitely grow fed up of going on a quest to save her every time she gets snatched. However love makes men do strange things, and Mario is no different which is why we’ll just have to put up with rescuing his beloved in nearly every game.

Navi (The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

One would normally pay rapt attention when a woman uses the words “Hey Listen” – unless of course that female voice belongs to Navi. Link’s highly annoying navigator’s continuous nagging is fully capable of driving an otherwise sane person to the brink of madness, more so due to the fact that the majority of intel she provides is fairly obvious. In fact I think Marvel should use the “Hey Listen” to invoke the Hulk’s rage in all of their future works. However despite her maddening chatter, Navi is needed by Link especially when it comes to using the Z-targeting system which is why we’ll just have to pop some Aspirin and put up with her.

Tails (Sonic The Hedgehog series)

Okay one look at Tails is enough for you to place him in the adorable category, but like most cute thing’s he’s absolutely inept when it comes to facing trying circumstances. Tails absolutely isn’t as sly as a fox and can be an absolute oaf as compared to the highly capable Sonic. From crashing into explosives to stepping on weak platforms, Tails tries every trick in the book to get himself killed albeit unknowingly. However he truly believes he’s aiding Sonic in his quest which makes us go easy on him.

Big the Cat (Sonic The Hedgehog series)

I’ve always been intrigued by fishing and I’m still aching to give it a try, but Big, the dimwit, hideously obese cat from the Sonic series almost made me give up my dream of fishing entirely. This lazy oaf puts us through a highly irritating fishing game which is vital for us to progress in the game which makes us despise him even more. Big was disliked to such an extent that Sega decided to retire him from the series. Not to many shed a tear at this decision.