Top 10 football conspiracy theories

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Everyone in the world loves a good conspiracy. From Apollo moon landings to Illuminati, conspiracy theorists have argued almost everything that we have been told to believe. Naturally, football hasn’t been spared of conspiracies either, and so, without any further ado, here are the Top 10 conspiracy theories in the beautiful game.

10. Tiki-Taka Syria Theory

“The Bombs go left, and the bullets go right”

Our list is kicked off by Barcelona and Syria, who cannot be serious about this. Some Syrian TV stations (The Syrian version of India TV?) have accused the Catalan giants for having passed the ball around and set up their formations in a way that gives Syrian rebels secret paths to transport weapons.

Now, I admit that Barcelona are undoubtedly one of the best teams in the world, but the Syrians claim that Barcelona managed to pull this off in an El Clasico! Clearly, Barcelona are way too talented for any of us to even comprehend. Not only do they whip Real Madrid’s posterior, but they also convey messages to Syrian rebels? Hmm, what next? Magnus Carlsen’s moves against Vishy Anand were actually coded messages to North Korea?

Verdict: Hmm… I’ll go on a limb and say that the Syrian TV station was OUT OF THEIR MINDS.

9. The Manchester United theory

Manchester United won, penalties supporting them were given, penalties that were against them weren’t blah blah blah, we all know the routine by now, don’t we? A referee makes one bad call, and the team whose favor the decision lies in is falsely implicated as a cheater. But when the number of decisions start piling, and more and more games start going in their favor, people do get envious, and hence, suspicious of their success. And that is exactly why Howard Webb, the referee who has appeared to favor the English giants on many occasions, finds himself on this list.

It’s not just Webb, other noted referees such as Mark Clattenberg have also made controversial calls all in favor of the Red Devils. And of course, who could ever forget the infamous Fergie Times, the unusually long extension of the stoppage time that somehow seemed to go in Manchester United’s favor every single time? Yup, Manchester United do make the casual observer suspicious, but not nearly enough to get anything higher than the 9^th rank.

Verdict: Faker than Rooney’s hair

8. The Ronaldo and Nike theory

The 1998 World Cup was one of the most controversial in recent history, when France clinched the ultimate trophy in Football on their home soil against a surprisingly tame Brazil. Brazil’s leading goal scorer, Ronaldo, was one of the forerunners in the department of ‘playing terribly in the finals’. However, many argue that Ronaldo was actually unwell during the game, which naturally explains his dismal performance. Not only that, many said that Ronaldo decided that he was not going to feature in the game the night before, and that his name was added at the very last minute.

Now of course, it couldn’t have been the clod’s desire to bring the ultimate trophy to his home country, could it? Hence, conspiracy theorists argue that Ronaldo had been forced by Nike, the brand he was endorsing back then, to play in the finals no matter what. Of course, the brand must’ve pressurized a player of that level to bring down his own team since he was unwell, just so he could endorse their brand for a whopping 90 minutes, right?

Verdict: Fake

7. Sepp Blatter and the FIFA Presidential elections theory

MARRAKECH, MOROCCO – DECEMBER 21: FIFA President Sepp Blatter looks on before the FIFA Club World Cup 3rd Place Match between Guangzhou Evergrande FC and Atletico Mineiro at the Marrakech Stadium on December 21, 2013 in Marrakech, Morocco. (Photo by Steve Bardens/Getty Images)

Oh Blatter! Can’t you be in the news for the RIGHT reasons for once? Apparently, the answer is a big, fat NO! FIFA President Sepp Blatter has been the most powerful man in World Football since he was first elected to the post in 1998. What’s astounding is that he continues to hold the same position despite an unrelenting series of gaffes, that most people have now christened ‘Blatterism’. Sepp has been accused of siphoning money, and has been recorded live as a sexist, homophobic, corrupt, Ronaldo-hating *******. If the members of FIFA are still making sure that he is the president, then either his competitor must be a REAL tool (some say he is), or the answer is obvious: – the elections are rigged.

Verdict: Might just have something in it

6. The 2014, 2018 and 2022 World Cups’ theory

Qatar will be hosting the next World Cup since it is conveniently located away from the hub of footballing action, has next to no footballing history and- umm?

The countries hosting the next few World Cups have been under the scrutiny of the general public for quite some time now. Brazil and Russia might not have been very awkward choices, but Qatar? Despite all the hiccups that a Qatari World Cup could have (The heat in summer, the homosexual fans visiting the country etc.), it was granted the permission to host the World Cup in 2022 despite having such a vast footballing heritage (I kid, of course).

Many argue that the oil and natural gas supplies that these three countries have might have something to do with FIFA’s decision to hold a World Cup there. And now that we know that Blatter’s integrity might not be as good as his Ronaldo impression, this theory might just have something in it.

Verdict: Might just have something in it

5. The Inter Milan- Calciopoli theory

“You Cheat!” “NO You Cheat!

The Calciopoli was one of the worst scandals in footballing history, when numerous teams in the Italian Serie A, most notably the reigning champions Juventus, were penalised for alleged match-fixing. The Old Lady of Turin was relegated, and most of their top players had left the club in search of sunnier shores. However, most Juventus fans believe that their team was squeaky clean, and the entire Calciopoli scandal was fabricated by their rivals Inter Milan, to spoil their reputation and to establish dominance in the Serie A.

Whether or not Inter was actually responsible for this, they did have an extremely successful spell after Juventus were relegated, winning numerous Scudettos and even the Champions League under Jose Mourinho. The Juventus faithful argue that there is actually NO evidence of their manager having ever made phone calls to fix games, and that the games which they had ‘supposedly’ fixed, didn’t have many controversial decisions that helped Juventus’s campaign to a very large extent. Naturally, if one is going to cheat, they would want MAJOR decisions going their way, right?

Verdict: Believable, but no evidence.

4. South Korea theory

DAEJEON – JUNE 18: Hyeon Seol Ki of South Korea takes the ball past Christian Panucci of Italy during the FIFA World Cup Finals 2002 Second Round match played at the Daejeon World Cup Stadium, in Daejeon, South Korea on June 18, 2002. South Korea won the match 2-1 with a Golden Goal in extra-time. DIGITAL IMAGE. (Photo by Ben Radford/Getty Images)

Many people believe that the 2002 World Cup, which was held in South Korea, had been rigged by them so that the referees would be partial towards them. This was evident in numerous games against Portugal, Spain and most notably, Italy.

While the entire world was awaiting a high voltage clash between European rivals Italy and Spain, South Korea emerged out of nowhere to clinch Italy’s place in the aforementioned fixture. They were jumping into tackles the entire game without having a single decision go against them, and had numerous incorrect offsides and decisions help them out against Spain, who had two perfectly fair goals disallowed, and Portugal, where two of Portgual’s players were sent off incorrectly. The referee of the game, Byron Moreno, had been found guilty of corruption later on, strengthening Italy’s claim.

Many of the calls made by the referees went against Italy’s way, and controversially so. Francesco Totti was sent off for allegedly diving in the box, and Damiano Tommasi’s Golden Goal had been ruled offside. There is no proof off the pitch that the game was fixed, but on the pitch, one just needs to pick their remote and watch the game.

Verdict: Believable, but no evidence

3. The Arsenal and lasagna theory

Where will you be when Diarrhea strikes?

At the end of the 2005-06 season, Arsenal was contesting fiercely with its local rivals Tottenham for a spot in the next year’s Champions league. Tottenham’s last game of the season was against West Ham, and a win against them would guarantee them a position in the subsequent Champions league.

Enter diarrhea. 10 of Tottenham’s players complained that their lasagna last night didn’t agree with them very much, and as a result, Tottenham slumped to a loss against West Ham, which saw them missing out on the European action.

Some theorists argue that Arsenal itself was involved in poisoning the Tottenham players, while others believe it was the work of Arsenal fans. Either way, not many can digest (get it? Digest?) that Tottenham player conveniently had a bad case of dysentery right before such an important game, but since Arsenal itself might not be at blame, this theory has to settle for the 3^rd place.

Verdict: True, but it might be implicating the wrong target.

2. Brazil and the 1998 World Cup theory

As mentioned earlier, Brazil’s toothless show at the 1998 World Cup finals had raised numerous eyebrows. While some believe that Nike and Ronaldo were at fault, others believe that Brazil had intentionally lost that game, in exchange for cash (and I mean BIG amounts), a relatively easier run in the subsequent World Cup (which they won) and an opportunity to host the World Cup in the near future (surprise surprise, 2014 World Cup is in, yes, you guessed it!).

This theory may or may not be correct, but the evidence that is stacked up against Brazil does appear to be quite solid.

Verdict: Evidence suggests it’s true, but nothing definitive.

1. UEFA- Barcelona theory

“It’s a f*cking disgrace!”…..and a conspiracy?

A theory slightly more believable than Barcelona’s secret messages to Syrian rebels suggests that UEFA favors Barcelona over all other teams (Barcelona lovers go all caps rage in 3..2..1…). Many teams have had a few controversial decisions go their way, and many rival teams have players who love to tumble around in the grass and claim they were fouled, but no team has had as many controversial decisions in big games as much as Barcelona did.

I refer, of course, to the UEFA Champions league semi-finals that Barcelona played against Chelsea and Inter Milan. Chelsea had been denied numerous penalty calls (The number is somewhere between 4 and 6, though it remains debatable), and the entire blame had fallen on the referee, someone who had been picked up out of nowhere to be in charge of a game of an unimaginable magnitude. Conspiracy theorists argue that a high profile referee wasn’t picked in this game so that the scapegoat of the multiple controversial decisions would be a lowly referee whom no one would bother listening to.

Inter had a similar experience against Barcelona, but managed to scrape past them despite the ‘heroics’ of Sergio Busquets that went unnoticed by the referee and no one else.

Barcelona have also dived heavily in many El Classicos (I really don’t need to argue this one, just head over to youtube and see for yourself). Football itself isn’t squeaky clean, but Barcelona are certainly not the forerunners in the department of being honest and upright.

Many have also argued that Barcelona players are favored over others for honors such as the Ballon D’Or. For example, most football fans unanimously agree that two of Messi’s 4 Ballon D’Ors should have been awarded to Cristiano Ronaldo and Wesley Sneijder, since they put up a performance which was far better than the little Argentine, but that is a different story, and one for another time.

Most of these allegations might just be a difference of opinion or convenient mistakes on the referees’ part, but no one who saw the game between Chelsea and Barcelona can ever say that Barcelona weren’t favored in that game.

Verdict: Definitely has elements of truth.

So there you have it, the top 10 football conspiracies, from the outrageous to the outright obvious. Tell me what you think about them in the comments section below and don’t forget to mention any hits or misses on my part, and if you are a fan of one of the teams that I have dissed, I suggest you back your claims up before you fly into an All-Caps Rage.