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Sachin Tendulkar wants all batting records; will concentrate on getting 200 consecutive ducks now

A humorous news spoof on Sachin Tendulkar. He dreams of getting the record of most consecutive ducks now.

Sachin Tendulkar, after his miraculous 200 not out, has made it absolutely clear that he is not going to leave any batting record, however good or bad, under anybody else’s name. He has revealed that his next target would be to score consecutive zeros in his next 200 innings. Sachin made this historic revelation while receiving the Man of the Match title after leading India to a thrashing victory over South Africa at the Gwalior cricket stadium.

(in association with news spoof site News That Matters Not. It is a fake news report, meant only for entertainment, as mentioned in the Disclaimer of the News That Matters Not website)

Sachin said, “I’m exhilarated after this legendary innings of mine against the South African minnows, it really feels good to hammer amateur South African bowlers all around the park. But now I will be focussing on my new target which will be to score consecutive zeros in the next 200 innings which I will play. So all my fans, please pray for me that I will accomplish this legendary task which no other cricketer till date has ever even dreamt of.”

Sachin already has the record of most ducks in ODIs by an Indian batsman, and he is proud of it. “That record gives me a lot of confidence.”

The BCCI officials are all praise for Sachin for the mighty world record and the new career target which he has set for himself in a single day. BCCI President Shashank Manohar said, “We are looking forward for Sachin to complete his new goal. Our blessings are with him. The committee is also planning to start a special training camp for Sachin where he will be trained to precision to surrender his wicket on the very first ball that he faces.” Sachin expressed deep pleasure over this.

The Men in Blue are also impressed. Captain M S Dhoni has said, “We are really proud of Sachin to have thought of such a noble idea. Only legends like him can think of such innovative ideas, to make the ODI format last longer. I feel that the rest of the team members can only dream of what Sachin has done and is planning to do in future.”

Photo credits AFP

Photo credits AFP

People from the cricketing world are divided over the feasibility of Sachin’s idea. Analysts anticipate that the opposition teams will now try to prevent Sachin from surrendering his wicket and in this process he will still keep on scoring big runs and this will help India to win. The cricket boards of Bangladesh and Zimbabwe, meanwhile, have started negotiating with BCCI to arrange long ODI tours to India in near future.

Australian captain Ricky Ponting said, “I think I’ll have to bowl myself to prevent him from scoring ducks. I certainly want to keep the record of most ducks to myself, so I don’t want to give Sachin the opportunity.” Indian bowler R P Singh is happy that he is an Indian player and not an opposition player; he said, “Its difficult for me to get wickets, you know, even if the batsman is hellbent to give away his wicket.”

Meanwhile this declaration made by Sachin has left an open challenge in the cricketing world which no batsman is willing to accept due to lack of guts and courage. The crowd of Mumbai is ecstatic that their city boasts of the only batsman who stands unchallenged by the entire world in his arena. The Maharashtra government is planning to make it mandatory for parents to name their boys and girls as “Sachin” so that the state can have many more people to help the state achieve high standards of failure.

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