Manchester United vs West Ham United, Live Score and Commentary Premier League 2017-18 MUN vs WHU

PEEP! PEEP! PEEEEEEEEEEEP!

That is very emphatically that. Jose Mourinho's men have laid down the marker in this season opener - the first time since a certain bespectacled Scotsman was stood on that touchline chewing gum.

4-0, and the scoreline does not flatter to deceive... this was outstanding from United; West Ham meanwhile have a long way to go before they start resembling a cohesive unit.

That's all from me for the weekend, Anirudh Menon signing out...

Toodle-ooo!

93' Joe Hart almost Joe Harts his way to conceding a fifth goal as Lingard puts pressure on him but he scrambles it clear

92' THREE MINUTES ADDED ON. Chicharito gets his first shot on goal after skipping away from his shadow - Bailly - but smashes it way off target.

Oh ho ho ho ho. Pogba plays a superb one-two with Martial and runs onto his return with that grace of his before looking up, sees Hart utterly stranded, and passes it into the far post. Another lovely, lovely, goal this.

90' GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALL!! POGBOOOOOOOOM!

89' Lingard has come on for the brilliant Mkhitaryan by the by.

OH! United move up through the gears rapidly and Mkhitaryan finishes off a sweet, sweet, passing move by playing in Martial - and the young man slides it in under Hart with calm confidence. Lovely goal.

87' GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! MARTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

86' Lukaku's loose touch grants Chicharito the ball in the United half, and the Little Pea tries to slip in Sakho, but Bailly is right there. As he has been all day.

85' Pogba and Lukaku do a twenty-yard one-two with the Belgian donning the provider's role - but Pogba's acrobatic effort is blocked off by Reid.

84' Oh! Matic hangs his head in anguish as he just overhits a through ball (at the end of a cute one-two with Mkhitaryan) to Lukaku.

83' Martial is running straight at Zabaleta but that veteran does superbly to hold his ground against his much faster opponent. Just a goal kick for now - but you sense there may be a goal to come here

82' Mourinho and Bilic are still engaged in conversation - the kind that two old men share over a beer and a barbeque. Nice to see the camaraderie.

81' West Ham roll their last... erm... roll of the dice as Aaron Cresswell replaces Masuaku

79' Substitution - the excellent Marcus Rashford receives a standing ovation as he is replaced by Anthony Martial.

78' Arnatouvic gets another chance as Masuaku's delivery bounces off Bailly and onto the Austrian who's found space for himself at the back post. He can merely smash it into row Z, though.

76' West Ham do look decent on the ball - when they get it - and triangulate their way around United's massive midfield. Somewhere across town, Pep Guardiola's just given a standing ovation... sure the move led to nothing, but the passing - wah!

74' The artist's brush goes off to be replaced by the lumberjack's machine-saw. Mata off, Marouane Fellaini on.

73' Rashford races in behind Reid, and tries a Zizou-roulette, that the veteran New Zealander reads well enough to make sure it's just a corner. Blind takes the set piece... and in one word it's rubbish

71' OH! That would have been SOME goal. Mata and Pogba toy with the West Ham midfield before the latter releases Valencia on the right. He swings it in early to Blind who has ghosted in at the back post. The Dutchman smashes it with impeccable technique - the bounce-off-the-ground technique that Ozil so loves - but the ball bounces just over the bar.

70' OH HO HO Pogba nutmegs Zabaleta into retirement, but there's a reason the Argentine got to where he is right now... he irritates Pogba enough to draw a tug on the shirt and the refs blow for a foul just as he bounds into the box.

69' By the by it was the Hammers' Hammer Mark Noble that was taken off for Rice. United are in the mood alright, they are passing it around with menacing purpose.

67' Matic picks out Pogba with a cute chip that the latter would have been proud of - the Frenchman bounds into the box but West Ham do well to close the wall around him.

66' You know who is a certified A-grade talent? MARCUS RASHFORD IS WHO! The young man races at Zabaleta turns him inside out, cuts in and absolutely leathers a ball straight off the base of the far post. WOOOOOOOF!!!

65' Rice, 17, nicks the ball off Pogba - the Irish lad is said to be one helluva talent.But United have it back soon enough....

62' OH MKHITARYAN! The Armenian is one of those who looks faster with the ball than without and he nutmegs Reid as he cuts inside before shooting low at Joe Hart - who does well to save it.

61' OH RASHFORD! More slick passing from United cuts open West Ham before Mkhitaryan slips in Rashford who smashes one into the International Space Station from the edge of the box

60' Rashford leads a stunning counter at extreme pace before squaring it to Mkhitaryan who draws the defenders before sliding in Luklaku. The big Belgian smashes it at goal, but Zabaleta throws himself into the shot and somehow keeps it away from goal.

59' Tony Valencia goes into the book for slamming into Arnatouvic... Substitutes for West Ham as Sakho and Rice come on for Fernandes and somebody else I'll update you about soon enough

58' OW OW OW Arnatouvic is capable of the sublime as frequently as he is of the ridiculous. Masuaku swings one in and the Austrian twists his head to power a stunning header beyond De Gea and onto the crossbar. UFF!

57' Mkhitaryan has the ball in the back of the net after a sublime passing move that involves Matic, Mata, and Rashford - but the young lad had strayed offside before squaring it to the Armenian.

55' Lukaku is the FIFTH person to score on debut this season. ALL-NEW! United are passing it with comfort now

WOOF! Mkhitaryan swings it in, Lukaku ghosts in behind Ogbonna and absolutely SMASHES it into the back of the net. Did i say WOOF already?

53' GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! LUKAKUUUUUUUUUuu!!!!!!!!!!!

51' West Ham win a free-kick on the right and Arnatouvic sends it into the noggin; of the first United man in defence. The home side counter at extreme pace, and United win a free-kick as Zabaleta trips up Rashford

50' OHHHHHHH!! RASHFORD! Pogba plays a delightful little ball in behind the Hammers defence that Rashford runs onto with alarming (for West Ham) ease... he races into the box and with no one in red anywhere near by he smashes it across the face of goal!! That Pogba pass, though. WOOF.

49' Reid tries to pick out a smart Fernandes run down the right flank - but guess who's also picked up that run? Nemanja Matic. who bullies him off into touch. Chelsea sold this man. Wow.

48' Arnatouvic slings in a slithering low ball that panic United, but the Reds clear at the end. West Ham look sprightly in the opening exchanges of this period

47' Nemanja Matic tries a one-touch pass to Jones who with typically charming oafishness smashes it straight back to a Hammer. Rashford then pushes Zabaleta off the ball and it's a free-kick in a dangerous position

PEEEEEP! PEEEEP! WE'RE OFF!

Will United channel their Fergie-soul-side and smash Hammers into oblivion? Or will you hear the peep peep of a bus reversing?

PEEEEP!

That's the last bit of action as Rowan Atkinson brings a rather exciting first 45 to a close. Fun game this, especially if you are a United fan - West Ham are still in it though and with the mercurial talent at their disposal, the home side need more than one goal to guarantee three points.

47' OH MY! The first misplaced pass I remember seeing Matic play - he gifts it to Noble who sparks West Ham forward and the ball bounces out to Fernandes at the edge of the box! The midfielder smashes one at goal, but De Gea punches it away with a look that says - "really? from there?" whilst simultaneously screaming "WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LOT DOING" at his defenders.

46' One minute to be added on. WOOF! Matic shimmies away from Chicharito before releasing Pogba. The Frenchman roulettes away from his marker before overhitting what looked like a sure-shot assist to Rashford. Hart gratefully smacks clear

45' Arnatouvic is putting in a real shift here - he tracks Valencia back diligently to win a goal-kick with United threatening.

44' Masuaku tries to bully Valencia and get around the outside of the Ecuadorian. Yeah, this one either... how does a player go into a shoulder-to-shoulder charge with one portion of the Andes and expect to come up on top?

43' Romelu Lukaku has now scored 10 goals against West Ham... he must have been so happy when the fixture list was put up. Meanwhile. Eric Bailly gets into the box for repeatedly fouling Chicharito - the latest a blatant kick that deserved a yellow on it's own merit.

42' Zabaleta tries to run past Rashford. Yeah. I don't know what he was thinking either.

41' West Ham move forward - an increasingly rare occurrence - but Phil Jones shuts the door on their face with one of those mile-long sliding tackles.

40' Matic! Oh my! The big Serbian twinkle-toes, yes, seriously, twinkle-toes his way past FOUR West Ham players but in the end his pass back to Pogba is cut off by Obiang. What was the Chelsea board on when they decided to approve this sale?

38' United play the ball intricately around the edge of the Hammers box before Blind wins yet another corner. The Dutchman's delivery is much better - and the ball careens across the six-yard box with nary a hair getting a touch on to it.

Manchester United vs West Ham United, Live Score and Commentary Premier League 2017-18 MUN vs WHU

Man United 4-0 West Ham (Lukaku 34', 53'; Martial 88', Pogba 91')