Bill Goldberg became one of the most famous acts in professional wrestling, at a time when the sport was one of the most popular forms of entertainment on the planet.
The late 1990s was filled with stars and stables that transcended wrestling itself such as Hollywood Hogan, the NWO, D-X, The Rock, and Stone Cold Steve Austin – and Goldberg was just as over as every one of them.
Even though he was known for his short and sweet squashes, as his legendary undefeated streak grew to mythical proportions, Goldberg gradually learned how to go for lengthy match times as his career progressed.
By the time he arrived at WWE in 2003, it was common for Goldberg to face off against stars like Chris Jericho, The Rock, and Triple H and easily go for match times that went well into the double digits. So when Bill made his shocking return to face Brock Lesnar at WWE Survivor Series 2016, it was surprising to see just how quick he disposed of The Beast Incarnate.
There are plenty of TV matches, in which Bill Goldberg defeats his opponents in record times, but few were so brief on Pay-Per-View. Looking back into both Goldberg’s WCW and WWE PPV histories, his five shortest match lengths have been ranked in descending order.
Read on to see where his match with Brock Lesnar compares against his most succinct efforts on the big stages.
#5 WCW Mayhem – Goldberg vs. Sid Vicious (5:30)
A notable factoid about this short match from November 21st, 1999, is that it happened at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Canada. That’s the same venue and city of Bill Goldberg’s most recent match against Brock Lesnar for the 2016 edition of WWE Survivor Series. Who could’ve guessed that Goldberg had such a history in this particular location?
Another interesting point about this contest was the crowd response. Unlike Toronto in 2016, these Canadians were pretty sick of Goldberg at this point in 1999. There was a very loud “Goldberg Sucks” chat that was heard in the first minute of action. Considering the brevity of this performance, Bill never had the chance to win them over.
Sid was even cheered for some of his offence.
The ending to this “I Quit” match came when Sid passed out while in a submission hold and of course, the crowd absolutely hated it. One reason that the match was poorly received was that it took place almost a full year after Goldberg’s Streak had already ended. Wrestling fans, in general, were tired of him in late 1999.
Another reason it wasn’t up for match of the night awards, was that it felt like it was at least 5 more minutes away from hitting any sort of stride. However, since there were a whopping 12 matches on this card, there wasn’t a tonne of match time available, to begin with.
#4 WCW Halloween Havoc 2000 – Goldberg vs. KroniK (3:35)
Much like the 2016 contest against Brock Lesnar, this incredibly short match main evented its Pay-Per-View. Bill Goldberg has star power but this was at a time that WCW was nearing its last legs, so this was a slightly bizarre choice to close out the show.
The company needed new stars but instead was trying their best to recapture some of the magic from the beginning of the Goldberg phenomenon.
KroniK were the first ones to arrive in the ring and said on the microphone that since Goldberg wasn’t cleared to wrestle, they needed to be declared the winners. Apparently, Bill was attacked and got his head bounced off a ring post on the previous episode of Thunder.
Right on cue, the camera cuts backstage to where a couple of medical personnel inform WCW officials that Goldberg was cleared right at that very moment, with less than 10 minutes remaining on the Pay-Per-View. Talk about cutting it close!
The highlight of this short match was when Goldberg eliminated Brian Adams from this elimination handicap match. He speared him through a table propped up against the corner and to be fair; the crowd was digging this.
The strangest part, when looking back at this match, is that this was during a period when WCW was trying to start a new undefeated streak as if Bill’s previous win/loss record didn’t count anymore.
He was announced at the start of this contest as 12-0 but somehow walked out 14-0, even though there were hundreds of contests under his belt by this point in his career. But hey, getting two wins in less than four minutes is not a bad deal at all.
#3 WCW Superbrawl VII – Goldberg vs. Brad Armstrong (2:23)
For the third shortest match in Bill Goldberg’s PPV history, we now find ourselves near the beginning of Bill Goldberg’s popularity. He stepped into this match at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, California with a 42-0 record. This contest was announced last minute and was only Bill’s second ever showing on a Pay-Per-View.
Brad Armstrong was the opponent here, and he bumped well for the big man. He had minimal offence and at one point took a wild pump handle fallaway slam that made him look like a literal rag doll.
Being so early in Goldberg’s rise, everything that made him special was there. He was loaded with intensity and fire, making very short work of his foe. This was a sure-fire way to get the crowd popping and is a fun bit of nostalgia for reliving the Goldberg magic.
#2 WCW Great American Bash 1998 vs. Konnan (1:57)
The previous entry happened during the rise of Bill Goldberg, but the contest that lasted less than two minutes was plucked directly from the prime of his popularity. This match happened on June 14th, 1998 and his memorable WCW Championship win against Hollywood Hulk Hogan occurred just a few short weeks later on July 6th.
To say that Goldberg was mega-over when he showed up to face Konnan at The Great American Bash would be a huge understatement.
Konnan came to the ring with his then-NWO Wolfpac buddies, Ravishing Rick Rude and Curt Hennig, the latter being the originally scheduled opponent for Bill’s United States Championship. Hennig hobbled to the ring because he suffered a leg injury and couldn’t compete in what was announced as Goldberg’s potential 100th straight victory.
Of course, Konnan lost in very short order, but the action didn’t stop for him when Goldberg left the ring. Hennig and Rude attacked Konnan because Curt’s injury was actually a ruse. They revealed that they were actually in the black and white version of NWO all along because the stable was super convoluted by that point.
At least Goldberg made sense in June of 1998.
#1 WWE Survivor Series 2016 vs. Brock Lesnar (1:25)
The most recent Pay-Per-View match of Bill Goldberg’s PPV career wound up also being the shortest. It was also the most surprising. Brock Lesnar has been WWE’s resident monster for several years, while Goldberg was fresh off a decade-long absence from in-ring action.
This originally felt like it was going to be an attraction match, simply to give Brock something to do until he gets back to competing against full-time talent on the main roster. Instead of manhandling, Lesnar became the manhandled.
The rumour mills have already been flooded with news that Goldberg has also signed on for at least one more match at the 2017 Royal Rumble. It now makes slightly more sense that Bill won if there’s a rematch down the line but the decisive manner that he completed his task is sure to be debated for many years to come.
In a list mostly dominated by short matches from WCW, this one WWE match from 2016 tops them all. Whether this was great booking or not, this short match got a lot of people talking, which is still good for business.
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