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Nowadays when I impose myself comfortably on my couch to tune into an episode of Monday Night Raw, I cannot help but feel a tinge of distaste as Michael Cole’s voice welcomes the viewers to whatever arena in whatever state, often followed by a proclamation of the number in attendance who are inevitably “on their feet.”
Is it just me or has the commentary in the WWE descended into repetitive periphery? Sure, JBL is capable of providing the occasional wise-crack. Apart from that, however, it’s hard to think of an instance where the commentary has complimented the in-ring action, in the recent past, and accentuated its impact to the millions of viewers who tune in through television.
Let’s face it. The WWE is direly feeling the loss of its voice for Jim Ross did not merely describe the moment that was transpiring; he instead shared in our experience of it like a fan who was watching it unfold for the first time. It is exactly that connection that is conspicuously missing in today’s presentation.
The role played by commentary directly shapes the way the WWE Universe reciprocates to the product which makes it worthwhile to run through a few tweaks that could be administered to the Raw commentary team. After all, we only truly realize the magnitude of what we miss after it’s gone.
Disclaimer: As tempting as it was to call for all the advertising and incessant twitter hashtag plugs on Raw to stop, it has irrevocably become part and parcel of the WWE marketing strategy that we just have to bear with a patient shrug. Shouldn’t be inordinately difficult after the PG Era.
1. 2-man commentary teams
When a potentially classic moment is afoot, instead of solidifying its impetus, JBL and Michael Cole end up mouthing off two different words at the exactly same time.They even manage to do it at the exact same instant sometimes, almost with metronomic coincidence. Once this happens, you’re already thrown off as a viewer, and what could have been an iconic moment gets recycled into a non-event by the time they make eye contact and sort out their feet regarding who is supposed to say something.
That’s generally Michael Cole, the play-by-play commentator.
But I digress. Regardless of who jumps the gun, a three man commentary team is clearly a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth. Maybe the WWE product just requires a more compact and less disruptive presentation scheme that two men with conversational chemistry are well capable of providing.
2. Balance of personas
This point borrows from the previous one in that a two piece commentary team would be better balanced in terms of there being one babyface point of view and one of a heel.
Every “heelish” jibe issued by JBL is met with two other face commentators shooting him down, and while this increases JBL’s exclusivity, sometimes he just gets drowned out by Booker T’s croaky exclamations and Michael Cole’s overpowering verbiage.
Perhaps, it would be more conducive if the WWE reverted back to 2-man commentary teams in obtaining greater balance and chemistry in the babyface vs heel dynamic they want to portray. With all of his slip-ups and mistimed quips, the last thing JBL needs is two voices instead of one to argue with.
3. Focus on the in-ring action
Aren’t you sick of hearing $9.99 already? Or about “Vintage Orton”? It's also highly probable that the kids who tune into the product know of the word “polarizing” much before they are taught it at school - courtesy the repetitive and hilariously inept Michael Cole.
Michael Cole is full-mindedly bothered with dovetailing the “oomph” in the articulation of his generic descriptions with the impact of the move being performed. So much so that there are sequences in between a match that go completely unaccounted for.
Sometimes this is due to the incapacity of Michael Cole to come up with fluid and accurate technical commentary; a ridiculously difficult deadlift suplex to a 300 pound man off the second turnbuckle elicits little more than an off-hand remark about “the impressive display of strength” on show.
Other times, commentators like JBL are talking about the English Cricket Team. Famous for his Texan roots, I’m willing to bet my left sock that JBL hasn’t padded up once before in his life.
It is exactly this type of shenanigan that detracts greatly from the in-ring action and falls flat when one examines the incredulity of the situation. For the want of a suitable analogy, how awkward would it be if Ravi Shastri, for instance, plugged a WWE move out of the blue during a cricket match? (“He speared him like a tracer-bullet!”)
4. Cut out the blatant grandstanding Michael Cole, please!
One of the most frustrating aspects of the commentary team, primarily exemplified by Michael Cole, is the blatant grandstanding that he indulges in. Week after week, utterly sub-par moments are hyped-up shamelessly as historical footnotes in the WWE while the moments worth gesticulating about in full gusto are met with an inexplicable silence.
Kevin Owens is the latest buzz associated with the WWE and it’s apparent that he is here to stay. What followed his dragon-slaying debut on Elimination Chamber was one of the most intense and relevant promo segments involving him and John Cena in the fallout episode of Raw.
In a segment where both Superstars pushed the limits of Kayfabe, Owens with his “Super-Cena” reference and Cena with the Adam Rose and XFL retort, what is worthy of note is that John Cena walked into a really hostile audience reaction. Towards the end of his promo though, each and every word that spilled out of his mouth was being cheered wildly.
All Michael Cole could muster after this epic segment was one solitary sentence in description, “Ladies and gentlemen, that was an emotional and passionate John Cena” before he moved on to plug the next. Could an iconic moment be sold any worse?
Juxtapose that with how flagrantly R Truth was plugged as a “big game player” by the commentary team a while back, and praised for knowing how to get the job done in pressure situations. Of course, they had to do it to justify his inclusion in the IC Title Elimination Chamber Match, but when he has won a total of 2 non-major titles in his entire tenure in the WWE, even the most casual of fan feels insulted.
5. Move on from “Super-Cena”
Consider this. Brock Lesnar dominates John Cena and suplexes him out of the WWE Title scene. Now, Kevin Owens is poised to finish what he started. The writing has been on the wall for the past year, but somehow the commentators seem oblivious to that.
It is almost as though every match of his showcases a biography of the man, his achievements and his admirable qualities. Include the endless dissection of HLR, and how it’s more than just a catchphrase to him. Even JBL, the heel colour commentator, unabashedly compliments John Cena on his grit and determination.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand why the WWE blows so hot and cold as far as seizing the pulse of its audience is concerned. Much to the delight of the fans, Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens are getting a push on one side, but Super-Cena the phenomenon shows no sign of blowing over on the other.
Perhaps it is indicative of two backstage creative influences in Vince McMahon and Triple H, but the WWE have always made a mistake in force-feeding John Cena to the fans. One would think, at least now, on the face of a new generation of WWE Superstars and a new era in programming, the commentators would hold back on incessantly plugging John Cena for truly, his time is up and perhaps the WWE needs to square with that fact sooner rather than later.
