WWF 'In Your House 13: Final Four' 1997 Review
- The Final Four: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, Vader & The Undertaker. Who becomes the new WWF Champion of the world?
Time Is Weird...(Especially In This One)
This segment started off in a weird manner. We see Honky Tonk Man making his way into the ring. But the PPV feed immediately cuts to HBK’s promo from last week (you can totally check out that recap here). It looks like Honky Tonk Man in 1997 isn’t interesting enough. So they just cut him out mid-way, or maybe they just don’t have enough time for it. Eh.
After HBK’s farewell recap from last week, we see Psycho Sid backstage.
The winner of tonight’s Fatal-4-Way Elimination match must defend his title against Psycho Sid the very next night on RAW. We are only 24 hours away & there’s not much—
“TIME!!! Time is the word I did not want to hear! See…time went out for you Shawn Michaels & yes I am sad for you…but I did not get my chance to get my belt back on Thursday Night! But see- Time sometimes turns out to be funny- This ‘time’ its original, it’s something different…(???) So my time will come on the beginning of a new time for Monday Night RAW!”
The promo ends with Sid getting his face too close near the camera.
Say what you want about the man, the master & the ruler of tim— I mean the world, but Sid has some unique ideas for promos. It’s just that his delivery is so comical, that he comes off as a cheesy comic-book villain all the time.
I still enjoyed it nevertheless. TIME!!!
N.O.D Is Robbin' The Bank!
MATCH #2: THE NATION OF DOMINATION (FAROOQ, CRUSH & SAVIO VEGA) vs. GOLDUST, FLASH FUNK & BART GUNN.
Can we just groove to Flash Funk’s entrance theme for the rest of the night?
Flash Funk is accompanied by two “Funkettes” if you will, which is too similar to Brodus Clay being accompanied by two “Funkadactyls” as a part of his “Funkasaurus” gimmick in the future. As you can see, Funkin’ runs in the WWE.
Farooq wants to say something, but Goldust attacks him unexpectedly. Later, Flash Funk dives on all three of the Nation members outside. Funk even executes a top-rope hurricanrana with ease. Hey, Flash Funk can do as many aerial moves as he wants, but it’s never the same without him being dressed like an egg-yolk from ROYAL RUMBLE RAW two weeks ago.
Jerry Lawler: “Crush has assured me that he never went to jail…But then one day we went shopping in the mall & he tried to pay for everything in cigarettes!”
Let’s just make a TV Show re-imagining Jerry Lawler’s quotes in the real world already. Farooq dominates Flash Funk in the ring, & even goes on to call him a ‘southern black redneck’. He waits for Funk to get on his knees & jumps on his back every time Flash Funk tries to get up. The third time’s the charm, as Flash Funk rolls around & hits Farooq right in the ‘sensitive parts’.
Things get out of control & the commentators act as if there is a mugging going on here. N.O.D is robbin’ the bank!
The finish itself is very messy because multiple brawls erupt. It is hard to keep track of everything, but Crush leg-drops Bart Gunn in the end & Farooq wins it for N.O.D via pinfall.
Congratulations dear reader. The underwhelming undercard matches are over. What matches, segments or incidences that follow from this point on are the best parts about this show, which convinced me to believe that ‘In Your House 13: Final Four’ is a better PPV than last month’s 1997 Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View.
RESULT: The Nation of Domination win via pinfall.