The BCCI Institute: Continuous Education (Satire)

In the wake of recent events that have transpired namely the Pak match-fixing scandal and the IPL mess, the BCCI (on advisement from the ICC) has decided to combat the malaise on a war-footing.

In addition to Anil Kumble mentoring the current Indian team, outside consultants are being invited to deliver seminars that will address the ills that plague Indian cricket.

These seminars are to be held under the auspices of the newly formed BCCI Institute whose mission is to provide and foster the continuous growth and education of its stakeholders.

A tentative draft of the curriculum, faculty and intended audience is provided below:

Seminars:

1> The Art Of Living

Faculty: Anil Kumble

Intended Audience: The Indian Cricket Team

2> How To Lead A Declining Team

Faculty: Ricky Ponting / Richie Richardson

Intended Audience: MS Dhoni

3> How To Use Social Media Responsibly

Faculty: Shashi Tharoor / Lalit Modi

Intended Audience: The Indian cricket team and any interested BCCI officials

4> How To Avoid Match-Fixers and Related Scandals

Faculty: Ajay Jadeja / Mohammad Azharuddin / Nayan Mongia

Intended Audience: The Indian Cricket Team

Case Study: Mohammad Amir

5> Ethics & Conflict Of Interest

Faculty: BCCI Secretary N Srinivasan / Lalit Modi and/or his relatives / Krishnamachari Srikkanth

Intended Audience: BCCI Officials ,IPL Governing Council and Selection Committee

6> Careers After Cricket

Faculty: Sunil Gavaskar/Krishnamachari Srikkanth/Ravi Shastri/Dilip Vengsarkar/Navjot Singh Sidhu/Azharuddin/Kirti Azad

Intended Audience: The Indian Cricket Team

7> Freelancing: The Free Spirited Way

Faculty: Andrew Symonds/ Freddie Flintoff

Intended Audience: The Indian Cricket Team

8> How To Make Friends And Influence People

Faculty: Greg Chapell

Intended Audience: Cricket Coaches.

Workshop:

1> How To Wriggle Out Of Tight Situations, Scams and Scandals

Participants: BCCI and PCB Officials

Guest Speaker: Suresh Kalmadi

The dates, timings and venues of these events will be decided later.

It is learnt – from reliable but undisclosed sources – that the IT Department, RBI and Enforcement Directorate were also approached to make presentations on Incorporation of Companies and Foreign Exchange Regulations but they politely declined. The BCCI is still seeking experts on these subjects ; the IPL franchisees feel quite left out.

Quote of the day:Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. – Blore’s Razor