Satire: A peep into the future of the IPL

Surely the IPL seems to be on an unending journey

The Indian Premier League, popularly known as the IPL, resembles a month-long college Fest. Thousands gather with the hopes of watching their stars perform. This is where the foreign heroes become friends and the national heroes are more like rivals. Cricket is more celebrated than played. It’s been 8 years of yearly repetition and every year the same players along with a few new faces earn more and party even more.

Now let’s take a jump to future, the year 2020. IPL is still ruling the TRP dynasty. Its stay at the top of TRP ladder is longer than Tiger Woods stayed at No.1 position. From now to then, a lot has changed. And let’s just consider that the Chennai Super Kings and Rajasthan Royals are still playing in it.

1) RCB - The team has become more of a liability than an asset. A lot of personal achievements are there to be accomplished this season. Virat Kohli is nearing his 10000th IPL run and Gayle his 100th century. AB de Villiers hopes he can hit a century in 17 balls, all sixes. RCB have been allowed to have 12 players in their team as the extra one will just run between the wickets for Gayle. They are yet to win an IPL season. Their choking streak is more revered than the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak.

2) CSK- They have been awarded as the best finalist team of the era because of their innate capability to reach the finals every year and lose. They have now been given the ticket to play straight in the finals. Irfan Pathan hopes he gets a chance this year. Srinivasan has been adjudged guilty in the fixing case. He has demanded a Trial by Combat as he feels it’s the only way out. Dhoni this time will open the innings as he is not comfortable batting down the order. He will be supported by his disciple, Lord Jadeja, at the other end.

3) KKR- Shahrukh Khan is in Singapore shooting "Kab Jayegi Jaan" and has handed the IPL franchise to his son. His son is barred from entering any stadium and so he carries his dad’s legacy. Sunil Narine cannot bowl but he is allowed to play as his bowling is under review. Yusuf Pathan has retired from all forms of Cricket except IPL as he wants to focus all his energy here. The superstitious Gautam Gambhir now wears pads even during toss as he wants to correct everything that didn’t go his way last season.

4) MI- They are the reigning champions. They have become pretty comfortable losing the first 7 matches then winning every next match. Nita Ambani has now finally stopped watching live matches sitting near the boundary line. To value her dedication, the Wankhede stadium has reserved a chair under her name. A fitting tribute to a sitting legend. Finally, Pollard has taken Indian citizenship. Nothing worthwhile can ever come from his relationship with the WICB.

5) RR- Well! this team earns respect every time but sadly not the trophy. The team has a record of reviving broken down careers. Even the Australians face tough competition among themselves as to who would be a part of RR this year. A good performance for this team gives you a ticket for the national side. More than retaining players, they have diverted their meagre resources in retaining Rahul Dravid. If he is there, new stars will be born.

6) SRH- This team has bought less star players this time. Earlier, they bought too many good bowlers and then got confused as to whom to include in the playing 11. Finally, throwing their Rotating policy out of the window. They have good players, they play well and still they lose. There's surely a mystery to crack there!

7) DD- Forget the team, it’s the selection committee which needs a change. With a history of spending 16 crores on Yuvraj Singh during the days when even Yuvraj wouldn't estimate his value so high, speaks volume about their bidding instinct. DD players adhere to the notion of not being very ambitious. They come, play and go and if they win, its a bonus. They don't have any high ambitions of winning the Cup. Good going boys!

8) KXIP- This team is Preity Zinta's most valued possession. It’s her only opportunity of making any public appearance though it’s totally unfruitful. This team is fully capable of putting up a rare noteworthy performance. When no one expects them to perform, they astonish and when everyone expects some sincere performances, they astonish us again though negatively.

DISCLAIMER: This article is purely a work of fiction and completely fun intended.