Satire: 'I am a Cheat', says N Srinivasan

N Srinivasan

In a stunning revelation, N Srinivasan has openly accepted the corruption charges against him. What he then said would blow your mind. Here is the full transcript:

“My name is Srini Mama, and I am a cheat.

I have abused my position in bed as the BCCI President and the Chennai Super Kings owner on a number of occasions by choosing to accept money.

I have lived with this dark secret for so many years, but, minutes ago, my astrologer told me to come forward and tell the truth.

It's a truth that has rightly caused uproar and controversy in India and around the world. I have shamed my country, my sport and those close to me. And for that, I am very proud.

I never lost faith in myself and in the game. I abused the game I loved.

I apologise to CSK for not helping them win the IPL this year, but I thank them for their support.

Speaking out, exposing the truth, laying bare the things I have done wrong, is the only way I could find to show people how powerful I am.

The time has come for me now to face them like a man and challenge the consequences whatever they may be.

I now believe in myself as a person again and I will continue to cheat for the rest of my life.

I used to think mistakes were made by bad people, but now I even know that bad people can continue to rule after making mistakes.

The people who know me know that I'm vulnerable to money, but they also know that I am not stupid. And I know what is right and what is wrong and wrong is right and right is wrong.

The decisions I made were right. Nothing can stop me.

The Mudgal Panel has been very dumb in dealing with the matters and I salute them. I can finally look my children in the eyes and tell them that honesty is not the best policy; corruption is. Supreme Court is not Supreme, Srini Mama is.

Today is the day I offer my deepest, deepest apologies to the public and the cricketing world, to the loyal fans, to the dedicated coaches, staff, players past and present.

I accept my punishment new position as the ICC Chairman.”

Disclaimer: This article is a satire and is only meant for humour.