Satire: Shahid Afridi, a story that has no end

Shahid Afridi has come of age in the ongoing Asia Cup in Bangladesh and has been instrumental in taking the team to the final. He has always been a finisher, bringing an end to his own team’s chances of winning games every time he goes out to bat. His brain works for a time interval lesser than that of a lightning or the tick of a clock, for that matter. But, it all seems to have changed like Shane Warne’s hair post the transplant. “How old is he? 18? 19? Shouldering the responsibility of the team at such a young age and preforming under pressure is commendable,” said Rameez Raja in an interview to Comedy Central. Afridi has received accolades from the entire cricketing fraternity and is tipped to be the future of Pakistan cricket. He’s also been nominated for ICC’s ‘Young Achiever 2014’ award. “It feels like only yesterday Afridi was 645 years old and look now, he’s almost ready to play for the U-19 team,” his neighbour said. In other news, Sunil Joshi was quoted saying, “Afridi has inspired me to come out of retirement.” The curious case of Shahid Afridi is that, despite him being of such a young age, for like eternity, people have failed to crack the mystery behind it. Archaeologists have recently announced that Afridi’s feeding bottle that was used in the Mesopotamian Civilization was found deep beneath the glaciers in some corner of the earth. With Afridi, there is a strong possibility of a father, son and grandson combination playing for the same team at the same time. That would result in another record too, the highest number of brain-fades per match. Afridi has also inspired many Indian politicians to continue playing games of their kind even as they start losing white hair and lie on the death bed. If Afridi starts winning matches as frequently as he’s doing now, the Pakistan Government may be forced to include a chapter on Afridi in school. Brace yourselves, that text book will be bulkier than a Britannica Encyclopaedia. When asked about his biggest achievement in life, Afridi said, “I have more fans in India than I have in my own country. That must be one of my biggest achievements. Disclaimer: The article is a work of fiction written for the purpose of humour only.