Almost everyone under the Sun is talking about Cristiano Ronaldo – be it negative or positive. What can’t be denied, however, is that he now has a more complete career than his greatest rival, Lionel Messi, after winning the UEFA Euro 2016.
All these years, he won a lot of accolades with the clubs he has played for, but he could never amass one with Portugal. However, as he begins to reach the twilight of his career, he has won what he wanted the most in the world of football.
A lot of people in this world want to be like him, even more so now. It is not an easy task to emulate him. However, we try to make your work simpler by listing out the 5 ways to be like Cristiano Ronaldo…
Disclaimer: THIS IS A HUMOUR PIECE AND THE INTENTION OF THIS PIECE IS TO ENTERTAIN.
#1 Be shirtless most of the time
The absolute must for one to be like Cristiano Ronaldo is to throw away every ounce of shyness that you might have in you and move around in nothing but your underwear at most times.
It doesn’t matter if you are in front of 80000-90000 people or that the shape of your private part might become apparent to all, if you want to be like the Portuguese, you have to make sure that people see you shirtless more than they see their spouses without clothes.
You may or may not need to have a beautiful body shape like him—it is a bonus if you do—but the point is to be bare-chested and that is what you must do.
#2 Put tons of hair-gel
There are some essentials in life that become a part of your daily routine. Things like toothpaste and soap are key to a hygienic life, but if you want to be like Cristiano Ronaldo, you must add another thing to your life and give it the highest priority: hair-gel.
When you wake up in the morning, instead of brushing your teeth, you must take the hair gel bottle and finish at least half of it while applying on your hair.
You can be without drinking water for one day, or taking a bath, but if you go without hair gel for even a moment, you are automatically not like the Portugal captain.
#3 Be arrogant
To be like the recently crowned European champion, you must have the ego of a blue whale and make statements like, “people hate me because I am rich, handsome and a great .”
You need to have the ability to channel this arrogance to make yourself better at what you do. You can’t be an empty vessel that only makes a lot of noise because then you would automatically be like Nicklas Bendtner instead of the Portuguese.
Your self-centeredness must be so severe that you should…
#4 Hog all the limelight for yourself
If you are someone who is working for an office project, you must always seek ways to get all the limelight for yourself instead of trying to finish your project with efficiency.
Even if your project mates did all the job to complete the project in time, you will snatch the papers from them and run to your supervisor – don’t forget to take your shirt off – and present the completed work to him.
You must make it look like – shamelessly if need be – that you did all the work and your team-mates were there to just fill up the space.
#5 Shave every hour
And the final ingredient to be like Cristiano Ronaldo is having a shaving blade. Not even a shade of facial hair should be seen if you want to be like the Real Madrid legend.
To make sure that you have a face as spotless and clean as a skinned chicken, you must shave every hour – every minute if you are someone like Anil Kapoor – and keep your face hairless. You should also hire someone to shave your face when you are asleep because 7-8 hours without shaving is a risk that you can’t afford to take.
If you follow all the aforementioned protocols, and add thousands of hours of training and a huge amount of talent and mental strength: wowza – congrats! – you will be like Cristiano Ronaldo.
