Love For the Game Series: Fantasy Team - The Indian Actors

This article was inspired by another of Sportskeeda’s authors, sidbreakball, and his post, Love for the game: Fantasy team the Pandavas.

Several movies, both Hollywood and Bollywood, have explored football as a sport, and have aimed to thrill the audiences. Although Bollywood has already explored this option with a mildly boring movie called Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal starring John Abraham, I want to take it a step further and show them why my team would have been a better option to play in England’s leagues.

Here is my Fantasy Football Team comprising Indian actors, who, since the annals of time, have shown their unbelievable spirit and never-say-die attitude. The formation is 3-5-2, highly attacking and where controlling the midfield is the key.

Goalkeeper: Amitabh Bachchan

Pros: His throaty voice and the respect that he commands from the players, both of his team and the opposition alike, makes him an automatic choice for this position. He is quite experienced, and is the most popular among his teammates. Once in a while he waves at his supporters behind the goalposts, and they all call him fondly by his nickname, “Sarkar!”

Cons: The former ‘angry young man’ can lose his cool at times. His off-field involvement in popular quiz shows can distract him from the game. He more often than not depends on luck (Mr.Natwarlal), but is quite clever.

Defenders: John Abraham, Shah Rukh Khan, Abhishek Bachchan

Pros: Shah Rukh Khan is another experienced campaigner. Former national hockey player and later the Indian National Women’s Team coach, this guy has seen it all. He’s quite adept at picking out the other team’s tactics. Abhishek Bachchan has the dubious advantage of being a stand-in goalkeeper (he’s next in line of the title ‘Sarkar’ that his dad holds between the posts). He’ll stick with his man no matter what, as can be seen in Dhoom and Dhoom 2. John Abraham wanted to reprise his role as striker after his heroics in Dhan Dhana Dhan..Goal, but with such a dostana with Abhishek, how could he stay at the opposite end of the lineup?

Cons: SRK sometimes stutters when he speaks, and that can prove to be decisive in crunch moments. (K…K..K..Kiran!) He is quite proud that His Name Is Khan , and makes sure it is printed in bold on his jersey.

Also to be taken care of is Abhishek’s and John’s chemistry, which might be good for the team on the field, but not off it.

Midfielders: Ranbir Kapoor, Amir Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Boman Irani, Hritik Roshan

Pros: Ranbir Kapoor has extremely high agility, as he has shown in the Pepsi Youngistaan ads. Hritik Roshan is a high-flying Kites kinda winger as well. Amir Khan is a power packed midfielder, and has a rigorous workout before every game, as is shown in Ghajini. Saif Ali Khan was known for his terrific supporting roles and hence is a holding midfielder in the team. And after his one-on-one skills showpiece with John in the rain (Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal), how can anyone not have Boman Irani as the creative midfielder who provides the spark to the team?

Cons: Inspite of his agility, Ranbir chose the winger role, because he is closer to the cheerleaders, and that can be his weakness (Bachna Ae Haseeno). Hritik is quite the thinker, the perfect winger, so to speak – he plans out everything, but might get detached as he figures out intricate dance sequences for celebrating. Amir packs quite a punch but has short term memory – he forgets his role and his coach’s instructions every fifteen minutes. All he remembers of his past is the face of the last guy who tackled him. Boman has an issue with loyalty, and can switch sides at the drop of a hat, as he did in his stint with the Don.

Forwards: Akshay Kumar, Emraan Hashmi, Shahid Kapoor

Pros: Emraan wanted to be a winger alongside Ranbir as well – but had to settle for striker because that is the position on the field that gets the most attention. Akshay Kumar might not be the best option next to him given his history in Garam Masala, but has proven to be an unbelievable striker when he has had his pre-match Thums Up. He can even play freestyle and will do anything to get his goal. Shahid Kapoor is the designated penalty taker, but is more known for his celebratory dance sequences, and competes with Hritik for the limelight.

Cons: Shahid doesn’t have a home and lives in his car, and in his spare time, teaches school kids how not to make fools of themselves. Emraan has a history of match-fixing, (Jannat), of which he might never have recovered. Akshay Kumar sometimes has devious schemes (Hera Pheri), and is also considering a transfer from his Chandni Chowk team to a Chinese club.

Coach/Manager: Salman Khan, Sanjay Dutt

Although most people expected Sanjay and Govinda to form their Jodi No.1 as manager and coach, it was Salman who took over from Govinda, because he turned out be the mentor in Partner. Salman also has the superhuman power of combining his soul with another player and giving them super strength and speeds (Hello Brother). Sanjay Dutt is quite a motivational manager, and gives out jaado ki jhappis for free when his team is down.

Former Legend and Team Tactician: Rajnikanth

Enough said!