The need for the John McEnroe therapy in India

“India! You cannot be serious!”

So they say there is a solution to everything, and I wonder what it would take to finally see my fellow Indian sportsmen (cricketers not included), rise to the occasion, and rake in a few dozen medals at the World Championships and the Olympics like the Americans and Chinese do.

I think there is some serious fine tuning required, and who better to shock the living hell out of mortals, than John McEnroe.

The surreal athlete with an even better temper was the nightmare of every referee, while he trudged the tennis courts. Fear is a great instigator and what better than the wrath of McEnroe to push the athletes of India to their very best.

There shall be no time spent subscribing to ‘mediocrity’, for the dread which arises from the blaring words “You can’t be serious!’, might just be enough to induce a state of prolonged shock. I guess, a little bit of a shock treatment could prove real handy in such dire situations.

For keep sake, you should also know, that it’s not just bad calls, bad weather, or bad balls (at his partner) which drives him crazy, but anything which he perceives to be below par. Well, if he were hired as a manager, just a glance through our “impeccable” record, would bring out the best in him. If only McEnroe were to manage sports in India, it would prove to a very fruitful mutual relationship, wherein the tennis veteran would be able to satiate his ginormous obsession to yell at people, and on the other hand, the lackadaisical attitude which has always pervaded sports in our country, will clear out forever.

They talk about the wrath of Shiva in our country, but I say, you have not even begun to reckon McEnroe’s fury.

He is not one who likes to do things in obscurity; he expects everyone to lay their cards down. This is something which would do our administration some serious good.

He doesn’t worry if a big chunk of his paycheck is lost, or there are a million people watching him, all he professes in is how to set things right, and setting things right is what India needs.

I would even consider him running for prime minister in our country. We’ve got political parties bantering over the corrupt practices of each other, as if anybody is better than the other. On the contrary, a man so blunt and possessing tongues as sharp as saber would definitely clear out the bad air in the country.

Under his leadership, the eternal dream of hosting a FIFA World Cup, or the Olympics could materialize, for the fear of his cussing and swearing, might just lead all other countries to gladly let India savor the honor of being the host.

Moreover, it would do good to have McEnroe around, and a political party headed by him would not be too bad. I believe, “Answer the question, jerk!” would be his party slogan, which I guess all the politicians in the country require pondering upon, anyway.

The John McEnroe therapy is what our country should subscribe too. Maybe the RTI should just be replaced by the John McEnroe therapy, and then we would have less corrupt administrators, less poverty, better roads, more security, and of course less ignorance.

I say send him an S.O.S and bring him right away to our country, so that he can set the gears of change in motion. All we need to do is to give him a racket and then piss him off, and he’ll go whacking all our problems away.