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The 2012 Summer Olympics in London would not be the same.
It began like a Robert Ludlum novel would: A series of top-secret meetings of the richest and most influential people around the world at high-profile locations. Agreements, negotiations, hard decisions, swift actions, tenders and rapid financial calculations… and curses.
It all began in 2005.
October 7, London
The headquarters at One Churchill Place, Canary Wharf was shrouded in fog and darkness. Ken Livingstone held on to his coat tighter than he usually did for this time of the year, but that did nothing to shield him from the chill. He found all doors open on his way in, and as he entered the foyer, he found himself at the end of a long black table. All around the lights were dimmed, and The Mayor of London broke into a sweat as he recognized the shape of Lord Sebastian Coe, Chairman of The London Organizing Committee of the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games, suspended in mid-air, with a vacant stare and open mouth.
At the other end of the table sat three people, dressed for a beach-party in Hawaii and smiling as though they were already there.
Livingstone sat himself on the chair that magically pulled itself out for him,” What is it now?” he struggled to keep his voice from trembling.
The representatives from The Department of Magical Games and Sports, Ministry of Magic stated their demands. This was their country too; didn’t they get a say in the whole Olympics business?
Ken Livingstone gulped. To begin with, he was looking at a fuming Prime Minister and tons of paperwork.
The men in bright Hawaiian shirts vanished into thin air, and the mayor instantly felt warmer. The lights returned.
January 28, 2012
JLN Sports Complex, New Delhi
“Kwi-kya!?” Ten days out of one of the world’s top prisons, the President of the Indian Olympics Association would not be bullied, even by oddly-dressed wizards who could put his Z-category security detail to sleep in the blink of an eye. The chill brought about by the wizards’ ‘security-detail’ would have unnerved others, but the President merely ordered the peon to turn down the building’s air-conditioning and “save energy”.
“Quidditch, sir,” a lean bespectacled man with jet-black hair answered,” it is a sport played in over twenty countries around the world at the moment.”
The President fingered through the thick roll of parchment the wizards had presented and stroked his beard,” I am sorry. This is India… You should have come with this proposal a lot earlier, maybe around twenty years ago.”
“The Olympic Charter decrees that Olympic sports for each edition of the Olympic Games should be decided at an IOC Session no later than 7 years prior to the Games, sir”, the bespectacled man spoke confidently,” and we have complied with that. Quidditch gained the approval of the BOA in 2005.”
“Honestly, man, how can you expect me to teach a new sport, a life-threatening one, to an entire country and select people to represent us at the Olympics in all of six months!? The least you could have done is informed me when you had the BOA’s approval!”
The wizards looked at each other,” We tried, sir, but…” a fat wizard spoke up, and coughed,” Common-wealth-Tihar,” he cleared his throat,” all five times we visited your offices, you were either out of the country or …”
“Say it!” the President roared,” I was in prison, but so was Gandhiji! I deny all allegations! I stand by what I did! 2010 Delhi was a spectacular success only due to my efforts!”
The fat wizard opened his mouth as if to say something, and then closed it. The bespectacled one spoke,” Sir, returning to the point, all we need is six months, really. We take full responsibility of training your team, equipping it and…”
“Flying brooms, right? And here it says there are qualification matches, one against Pakistan!”
“Yes sir, you have unconditional rights to decide the broadcaster and so on and so forth,” the wizard winked,” that is what I have been saying for all this while, you need to give us seven sportsmen, athletes, if you will and we will train them at our facilities.”
February 14, 2012
Location undisclosed.
The wizards and a witch (who was supposedly of Indian origin) had all worn tuxedos for the occasion, for this was a big one-the heads of all 30 Sports Governing Bodies of India were in attendance. Naturally, tempers ran high.
The President of IOA began,” Brothers, we need seven of our finest, fittest sportsmen to represent us at this new sport-Kwiddis-“
“Quidditch”, the fat wizard offered, and was met with cold stares. No one interrupted the IOA president, even if he made a mistake.
“So, I ask for your co-operation. We need to throw in three men who can score goals with a broom between their legs (someone gasped), two strong men who can defend the team from flying rocks, a goal-keeper and a man skilled in finding tiny objects. Before you ask, yes, I did ask our distinguished magicians from England if we could play our Air Force pilots but they disapproved. So, in short, we need men with quick eyes, sharp reflexes and lots of muscle and stamina.”
Immediately, the heads of All India Chess Federation, All India Carrom Federation and Badminton Association of India staged a walk-out muttering words like “insulted”, “inconsiderate’, “discrimination”.
Two hours of discussions’ later, the President of All India Tennis Federation was escorted out after he tried to strangulate the IOA President when the latter disagreed to include Leander Paes in the list of probables for the National Quidditch Team. Apparently, no party is interested in having Mr. Paes on their side, as usual.
From the depths of the crowd, a stout man with greying hair winked at the bespectacled wizard, who winked back. The logo on his T-shirt read ‘India Cements’.
The Indian National Quidditch Team was announced behind closed doors at the end of the Indian Premier League.
Captain: Mahendra Singh Dhoni
Vice-captain: Suresh Raina.
Positions:
Chasers were selected to be Gautam Gambhir, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli.
The Beaters would be Yusuf Pathan and Virender Sehwag. The wizards commented after a demonstration that Sehwag should cut back on his aggression while flying at 500 feet in the air and Pathan can in no scientific possibility sit on his broom for the more than ten minutes at a stretch.
Mahendra Singh Dhoni was Keeper, of course.
Sachin Tendulkar was selected as Seeker, to justify the presence of all other team-members and because he would get the sole responsibility of winning his team the game, thus enabling the sport to have the maximum impact on the Indian audience. On a personal front, this would make Tendulkar the only cricketer to win an Olympic medal, a record that surely would never be broken by the likes of Virat Kohli.
The Basketball Federation of India, the All India Football Federation and Hockey India were unavailable for comment for a long time.
