Brian Lara speaks about his embarrassments, his inspirations

The prestigious MCC Spirit of cricket lecture was delivered by West Indies legend Brian Lara who spoke about his initial years back in Trinidad, the influence of Viv RIchards, and how West Indies cricket tapered off despite having a glittering history.

Here is the entire draft of his lecture:

I remember the first time I was a West Indies cricketer. It was 1989. It was the most poignant moment in my life. India were in West Indies and they were playing an Under-23 team at St Kitts and I got some runs. And I got drafted into the West Indies cricket team. I was only 19. I had no clue. I left St. Kitts and went to work in Angostura, which was a rum and bitters company. One of my co-workers called me and said, 'your dad is on the phone'. 'Did you hear the team?' he said. I said, 'what team are you talking about?' He said, 'the West Indies team.' I said, 'No, I didn't'. He said, 'you're on the team'. I couldn't believe that my old man's dream came true.

I was elated but his dream really came true. My boss at Angostura gave me a case of rum and a case of bitters. I headed up to Santacruz. My dad and his friends were all in the house already, emptied the case of rum and thankfully didn't do the same to the bitters. I went to the Oval an hour before the team arrived. I didn't know what to do. When the bus with the WI team pulled up, you're talking about my idols, talking about the people who I could only look at on TV or listen to on radio.

Viv Richards walked off the bus, Gordon Greenidge walked off the bus, Desmond Haynes walked off the bus and the late Malcolm Marshall and Jeffrey Dujon and Gustin Logie walked off the bus. I froze, I was out there as a little kid taking a knock, and I didn't know what to do. As the team went inside the dressing room, I decided I'll try to join them and say hello. I was walking towards the dressing room, and my cricket bag that I put in the dressing room in the same spot that I play for Trinidad and Tobago in first class cricket, came flying through the air in front of me. I don't know what I did. I picked it up and I walked inside. And to my amazement, the same place that I sat for T&T, was the same place Sir Vivian Richards sat for the West Indies.

So I spent the first five days of my international career in the bathroom, ducking the players as they came in to take a shower. I had to move my bag left, I had to move it right. That first Test match, I was not selected in the final XI. It took me a couple of years of carrying water, the towels and cleaning the boots of all those great players in the WI team before I actually got a look in.

It was an apprenticeship period I actually enjoyed. Pretty much being in the dressing room with Sir Vivian Richards, Gordon Greenidge, Malcolm Marshall was my roommate, and I felt like as if I died and went to heaven, it was the most amazing time of my life. Of course on many occasions they took advantage of me, and I remember right here at Lord's during 1991 series, it was raining as it always does in England, and I made sure everybody had what they wanted - who wanted their shirt in the drier, who wanted food, who wanted their boots cleaned - I did everything as it continued to rain. I felt there was an opportunity for me to take a little nap and I had my first 'MRI experience' - you know when someone is really close to your face.

I opened my eyes and there was Viv Richards staring me in the eyes with piercing look and big nose. He looked at me and he said, very quietly, 'Did you have a late night?'. I was nervous by then, heart beating. I said 'No I didn't. I just felt that everyone was okay, needed nothing so I thought I'll take a sleep.' He looked at me, and if he got any closer, his nose would be rubbing against my cheeks, and said: 'Listen, get up, go outside and watch the rain. You're not being paid to sleep'. I got up as a youngster, went outside on the balcony at Lord's and I watched the rain.

I was out there an hour later, it was still drizzling, when Lance Gibbs the team manager came and said: 'Brian, I have a horse running at Doncaster. Let's go down to the betting shop and see if we have a winner. I got up and ran inside, only to run into Sir Viv - bareback, a towel is around his shoulder and a mean look on his face. I made a U-turn and went back to the balcony.

The most embarrassing moment in the 90s, and the need for the best to be true leaders

I grew up at a time when WI dominated the world. For 15 years from 1980, they didn't lose a single Test series. And just before that reign started, Colin Croft decided he was going take a little piece out of Fred Godall's shoulder and ran into him in a Test in New Zealand. Michael Holding decided he was no longer a cricketer, he was a footballer. One of the players was making a long run and he kicked the stump towards him. I was still a very young person. There was no TV in my place so I didn't really understand what was going on. And what was news today was chicken and chips paper the next day.

But I am sure the occurrences during those periods had a big effect on cricket. I was asked by the late Richie Benaud to say a few words after my last Test in Adelaide. I went on stage and thanked my teammates and the Australian public, and immediately went to the Australian cricket team room - members of the best cricket team in the world - and I let them know how exactly I felt. They had the respect of the rest of the world and they needed to show the way and ensure that world cricket saw them as leaders. Not just on the field, not just with fierceness and dominance on the field, but how the game should've been played.

I was accustomed to victory after victory. The WI in fact never trailed in a series during my time. But in 1988, Pakistan came to the Caribbean and Imran Khan, who was not supposed to come, decided to come to see if he could beat West Indies for the first time in a long time. They won comfortably in Guyana and got to Trinidad. Imran spoke about the low-scoring Test match (in his Cowdrey lecture) when West Indies were struggling at 64 for 4 in the second innings. He got Viv Richards plumb in front and was given not out. And he got a 100 and West Indies drew the Test. That was not the most troubling moment for me. The next match in Barbados, West Indies drew that Test and Pakistan were still 1-0 up in the series. It was a keenly-fought Test match. On the fifth day, Jeff Dujon was trying to steer WI to victory with the tail. Abdul Qadir bowled a googly, hit his glove and it ricocheted off to bat-pad and the entire Pakistan team appealed and the umpire said not out. I was embarrassed, I wasn't playing. I wasn't actually in the team. The Pakistan team, I could see, looked defeated. They lost the fight, except for Qadir, who punched a spectator and had to pay USD 1000 to settle out of court.

Another disturbing period during that time was England's 1990 tour of West Indies. I was on the team as usual, as the water boy. England had no chance. Ian Botham wasn't there, David Gower wasn't there. They were in Jamaica with no chance and they outplayed the West Indies and they led the series 1-0. Everyone believed that that could not be repeated. They went to Guyana, rain fell and no play at all. They went to Trinidad with a 1-0 lead and Graham Gooch won a very important toss on a green top. By lunch, West Indies were 29 for 5. It was not a fluke. They had a bit of recovery with Gus Logie, Wayne Larkin... and Graham Gooch batted very well and put England in a commanding position. By the fifth day, England were in driver's seat. Rain washed out a session, but England still had ample time to chase down a very small total. And I've never ever seen groundsman and official fight for man of the match.

They moved lethargic, slow if there was a wet spot. Somebody went off the field, came back with nothing in their hand and went back in again. They took their time. They ensured that the game wasn't going to start anytime soon. They started with a couple of hours to go and England still had ample time to beat the West Indies. And this maybe was the most embarrassing moment for me as a young West Indian, watching the team time-wasting and playing the game in the way it should never ever be played

And Gooch called his players when he got injured and it was getting very dark. West Indies was able to grab a draw from the jaws of defeat. I think we bowled seven overs in one hour. It was really embarrassing. You've got to understand, I was the 12th man, so I was very, very guilty. I was running out with lacings, banana, water, cough tables... all sorts of different things in the last hour. It was truly embarrassing.

We went on to Barbados, again a keenly fought contest. Rob Bailey was batting with not much time to go for a drawn Test match. He flicked the ball down the leg side and Dujon dived and collected. The first slip ran towards the umpire and signalled and kept going and going. Eventually the finger went up and gave Bailey out, and he was definitely not out. England sort of lost faith in the game. They lost that Test and they lost the game in Antigua for West Indies to win the series 2-1. And as a West Indian I really and truly was embarrassed. As a youngster, who really looked up to a lot of the individuals in the team, it felt like one of the saddest moments in the world. For me, the West Indies being the best team in the world needed to play cricket in a different way.

I was in Trinidad in my bed and as you know it is five-hour difference and I heard David Lloyd, 'Bumble', being interviewed in the morning and someone asked him 'who do you think will win the match'? He didn't say anything unequivocally but he said 'will it not be amazing if that young West Indies team could pull this off?'. And he finished by saying that, 'I hope they do'.

Nasser Hussain surprised me when he said that 'these are the young players of the future of West Indies cricket'. And he was talking about Kraigg Brathwaite and Shai Hope in the first innings when they were putting up a resistance to the English bowlers. It took I think maybe 127 years of illustrious names... Sir Donald Bradman, Sir WG Grace, Sir Garry Sobers, Sir Len Hutton, Sir Vivian Richards, like Sachin Tendulkar, Allan Border, Sunil Gavaskar, they all passed through the gates of Headingley. They all walked onto the field, if I can quietly mention my name. I wasn't comfortable with any pitch past Manchester. It got a little bit too cold, and I really wasn't happy about it.

But it took 127 years for one person to score hundred in each innings of a first class match at the Headingley cricket ground. That person, a number 4 batsman from the West Indies team, with an average of 18 and how unbelievable it would have been if Kraigg Brathwaite had joined him in the same Test match. I can't say more than give this team really and truly a round of applause.

Spirit of the game

A question that is asked about West Indies cricket every time I turn around - what happened to West Indies cricket? The team of the 70s, 80s, early 90s.. what happened? I always stop them and say: 'you know what, and I include what happened a week ago, and I understand this is the first victory for West Indies in 17 years in England. The last time was 2000. But I always say 'is that what we should be looking at? Is that the fact we should be looking at or should we be looking at the fact that we've never beaten England since 1988 in England, and that is where I look for the decline. Because people talk about the first Test series we lost in 1995, that's when we started to spiral. I felt we started to spiral years before that, even when the great players were playing. And if Pakistan got what they deserved, England got what they deserved in 1988 and 1990 respectively, I feel the West Indies officials would've taken a different look in introspection into what do we do about saving West Indies cricket.

At a time when we had senior players, who could've guided the younger players to ensure we were in the right footing moving forward. But that didn't happen. Another thing that bothers me about the spirit of the game is batsmen not walking when they're out. I don't see any room for that in cricket because I can't understand some of the arguments that I hear - there's an umpire to make the decision, why am I going to walk? You know how many times I've been given a bad decision? Let them do their job.

But to me, I could not understand why I would want to have an unfair second chance to bat in the same innings of the match, when everybody is toiling. I could never agree with that sort of situations. Bowlers and fielders appealing unnecessarily, getting decisions. There are many times you appeal when you think the batsman is out and they are given out, you leave the field and you understand that the player was not out. You apologise and move on. Sincerely apologise.

But I don't believe that these are things are necessary in sport between countries. As they say in Jamaica, we're much bigger than that. I remember as a young man playing my Second Test against South Africa. And South Africa just came off the apartheid system and were granted full sporting status again. We were in Barbados. I think Allan Donald or Tertius Bosch was bowling, and he bowled a bouncer. I flicked at it and moved off for a run, I felt that my heel touched something. I ran past the bowler and he was pointing at my stump. The umpires met, discussed and decided that I wasn't out. As a young man, not knowing the rules fully, I accepted the decision. But it didn't rest well with me and I didn't last long afterwards. And I told myself that day that if I am ever out in a cricket match, I would not be waiting for the umpire's decision. The fielding team is going to see my back.

Another thing that I feel affects the spirit of cricket is the relationship any team has with its cricket board. And the relationship between or the disharmony between WICB and its players - the one cancer I believe has destroyed West Indies cricket over the last 20-25 years.

I started in 1989, I didn't feel that love and team unity that we saw in the field... the high-fives. And I felt that when Sir Viv Richards took charge of the team, his relationship with the WICB was actually a turning period in our cricket. I felt that the board saw that he was too powerful and I felt that they always looked at him and looked at the fact that they wanted to get rid of him. I remember one series in 1991, I was in Rockley in Barbados, again not playing, and I was sitting at a pool. We were two weeks out from touring England. He came around the pool, he didn't see me, it was dark. And he was mumbling all sort of expletives. I said to him: 'Skipper, what's wrong?' and he said: 'Can you believe two weeks out from a series in England, they haven't selected a captain?' And I said to him: 'Don't worry about it man, they must pick you. You're crazy?' He looked at me and said: 'Shut up, you know you're sure you're going, I am not sure.' And he was right.

As a 21-year-old, if you're in the 13, you're definitely in the 16. But as a 39-year-old, and captain, you never know who is gunning for you. Sir Viv got selected for that tour and he relinquished captaincy in England, wanting to play the World Cup in 1992 just as a player. I believe we know what exactly happened to Sir Vivian Richards. He never played in that World Cup.