SATIRE: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian visit India to ‘smooth things over’ with rest of cricketing world
DISCLAIMER: This article has been written as a humour piece and should be read with a pinch of salt.
LOS ANGELES – Hot on the heels of Dennis Rodman’s diplomatic trip to North Korea, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have embarked on a bridge-building mission to Mumbai to “smooth things over” between the BCCI and the rest of the world’s cricketing nations.
In an attempt to ease tensions across the sport, “Kimye” met a number of high-profile figures in the Indian game including, as West put it, “his boy, Uncle Srini”.
Revealing a lifelong love of Indian cricket, including his belief that former fast bowler Javagal Srinath was “hall-o-fame, baby”, the hip-hop megastar remarked that he was confident of finding a solution to the present issues over DRS, but had been shocked by some of the misery he’d encountered during his visit.
“This trip has really opened up my eyes to human suffering. Rarely have I seen such devastation and sadness,” said Kanye, after being shown footage of India’s last two away series.
“In fact, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t seen anyone screwed like that since I accidentally watched some of Kim’s old home videos.”
During the diplomatic trip, revered Indian all-rounder Ravi Jadeja was also invited to meet the hip-hop legend. “It was a dream come true to finally chill out with the most bling man on the planet,” said West.
Reports suggest that Kanye is considering shaving ‘Deccan Chargers: Never Forget’ onto the side of his head.
Despite no real signs of progress emerging from the trip, there was some good news for Kardashian, whose increased profile in India led to her being heavily touted as an IPL pitchside reporter, although consensus remains that she would be far too over-qualified.