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Top 20 most funny quotes: Part 1

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1) “I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important – like a league game or something.” - Dick Butkus

2) “Most football teams are temperamental. That’s 90% temper and 10% mental.” - Doug Plank

3) “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.” - George Rogers

4) “Football is easy if you’re crazy as hell.” - Bo Jackson

5) “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” - Joe Theismann

6) “Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.” - Frank Gifford

7) “If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.” - Erma Bombeck

8) “When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.” - George Raveling

9) “If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn’t the same as the one I was wearing, I’d run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.” - Bo Jackson


10) “Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.” - Dave Barry

11) “Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.” - Heywood Hale Braun

12) “Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.” - Don Shula

13) “Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.” - Duffy Daugherty

14) “I’d catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.” - Steve Henderson

15) “Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?” - Jim Bouton

16) “You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.” - Dan Birdwell

17) “I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” - Knute Rockne

18) “American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.” - Sue Lawley

19) “I’ve been big ever since I was little.” - William “The Refrigerator” Perry

20) “We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.” - Bruce Coslet