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Depression or major depressive disorder can affect a person in a lot of ways. These symptoms can severely impact their daily functioning. That can include changes in sleep, appetite, poor concentration, low energy, lack of interest, low self-esteem, guilt or hopelessness, slowed movements or speech, agitation, and suicidal thoughts.
Although these are the most common symptoms used to make a diagnosis, depression impacts every individual differently. Research shows that young adults, especially adolescents, are prone to depression, which is the single biggest predictor for attempted or completed suicides.
Depression is a real problem, and especially for teenagers, it can become a very pressurizing environment if people around them start neglecting their concerns. It's important to bring awareness about illnesses like depression and to understand that healing is possible.
How to Help a Loved One with Depression?
If you have a partner or friend who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them your love and care.
One day they may seem fine, but the next day, they could be sad, distant and may push you away. It's important to know that as their close trusted friend, you can help them have shorter or less severe bouts of depression.
Having people to support and care while going through such a tough illness means a lot to those suffering from depression. Here are some ways to care for a loved one dealing with depression.
1) Research
You can research and learn about depression with the help of a mental health professional. That will help you understand your loved one's condition better.
For example, you shouldn't assume that by telling your loved ones to 'think positive', their depression will go away. The best way to support them is by asking and listening to how they feel about depression and letting them know that you're there for them.
2) Patience is Key
Depression can be chronic and recurring. It's typical to want your loved one to get better and to feel guilty if you can't make that happen. However, remember that your loved ones need time to get through their treatment journey. You can impact that journey by becoming a source of positivity, connection and support.
3) Finding Support
Sometimes, working alone is not enough if you're depressed. There are a lot of ways in which you and your family can feel more supported. Healthcare professionals can also recommend mental health resources that are available online or over the phone. You can start with:
a) Government sites such as the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
b) National mental health organizations such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
4) Help with Daily Functioning
The most basic way you can support a loved one enduring depression is by helping them with their everyday chores and duties.
If someone is suffering from depression, they may feel like they're slowing down while the world around them is speeding up. By helping them with their laundry, sorting out their mail, taking care of their phone calls or cleaning their dishes, you can take a huge weight off their shoulders.
Your help also gives brings about a calmer and healthier environment around them.
5) Focus on their self-care
People with depression may often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, visiting a doctor seems too hard, and they may feel they don't deserve to be taken care of.
Having the encouragement from a loved one can help them tremendously. Being proactive and telling them things like, "I am going to take the garbage out, why don't you relax and watch a movie?" can allow them to take care of themselves.
6) Don't Ask 'Why' Questions
It's not always easy for a person with depression to understand why things are happening.
Asking them questions like, "Why are you depressed?","Why can't you shower everyday?","Why can't you think positively?" and similar questions can exacerbate their condition.
Depression doesn't always have a specific trigger; it just happens. A depressed person is confused about a wide variety of things, so asking them 'why' questions can be very frustrating.
Takeaway
Sometimes, you can feel burnt out and frustrated when taking care of someone with depression. However, it's important to take out time for your own activities so that you can recharge and feel better.
If you see something, say it. Talk to a parent, friend, counselor or a trusted adult to figure out what resources are available for people with depression. Remember that you don't have to be a therapist to support your friends or family members; you can just be your supportive self.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology, with a specialization in clinical psychology.
