WWE RAW Results, December 18th 2017, Live Updates and Commentary, huge return after 5 months

Here are the results of the matches from Monday Night Raw:
Seth Rollins def. Jason Jordan
Finn Balor and Hideo Itami def. The Miztourage
Cedric Alexander def. Drew Gulak
Asuka def. Alexa Bliss
Cesaro, Sheamus & Samoa Joe def. Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose & Jason Jordan
The Revival def. Heath Slater & Rhyno
Mickie James, Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. The Absolution ended via DQ

WOMEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH #RAW pic.twitter.com/LiIMnEllsE
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

Just as chaos is about to ensue, Stephanie McMahon makes her way to the ring. After spewing some corporate hogwash, she announces the first ever Women's Royal Rumble.

She actually managed to drain all the excitement out of what should've been a monumental moment! Can she just stop being a character on television?

The Absolution are wreaking havoc when Nia Jax makes her way to the ring. She hits a double Samoan drop on Deville and Rose. However, Paige levels Jax, leaving her in a heap. This causes the entire Raw women's locker room to come out and handle Absolution.

Paige looks to be on top when she is intercepted by the airborne Banks. The Absolution assault Banks, leading to a disqualification.

Mickie James, Sasha Banks & Bayley def. The Absolution via DQ

Mickie James, Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. The Absolution
Mickie James starts with Paige, but she quickly makes the tag to Banks. Absolution isolate Banks in their corner and stomp a mudhole in her. Paige then knocks Bayley and James off the apron and orders her cronies to assault them.

.@SashaBanksWWE has just interrupted Elias #RAW pic.twitter.com/msxKBrDBIK
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

He announces his desire to enter the Royal Rumble and starts to sing when Sasha Banks comes out to interrupt. She is soon joined by Bayley and Mickie James.

Elias is out next, and he takes a shot at local hero Tom Brady in his pre-match promo. #CarsonWentzforMVP

Kurt Angle runs into Slater and Rhyno backstage. He tells them to toughen up heading into the new year.

Kurt Angle and Stephanie McMahon are shown together backstage.

The Revival vs. Heath Slater and Rhyno
Dawson and Wilder take turns isolating Heath Slater and double teaming him. They knock Rhyno off the apron before hitting Slater with a Shatter Machine for the win!
The Revival def. Heath Slater and Rhyno

When we return from commercial, the Revival make their first return to WWE as a tag team in several months.

Ambrose and Rollins are backstage when they're attacked by Sheamus, Cesaro and Samoa Joe. The Submission Machine rubs salt into the wounds by tipping crate onto Dean Ambrose's injured right arm.

It's time for a "Woken" Matt Hardy vignette! He vows to "delete" Bray Wyatt.

#RAW @StephMcMahon pic.twitter.com/d1iOE37KC1
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

BROGUE KICK!!!! @WWESheamus #RAW pic.twitter.com/bdgAMPD0Pa
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

After the match, we cut to a limo in the parking area. Stephanie McMahon is in the house!

Before the confusion can clear, Sheamus hits Rollins with a Brogue Kick out of nowhere, allowing Cesaro to cover the Architect. The referee is initially tending to Ambrose, but he rushes in to count the pinfall. The contrived nature of this finish makes you think that Ambrose is really injured.

Cesaro, Sheamus & Samoa Joe def. Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose & Jason Jordan

Just as Rollins inches closer to his team, Cesaro cuts him off and throws him outside the ring, allowing Samoa Joe and Sheamus to take a toll on him. Ambrose lays out the heels, throws Rollins inside the ring and asks for the tag.

However, the Lunatic is knocked off the apron by Cesaro. Rollins hits a suicide dive and accidentally hits Ambrose, injuring the Cincinnati native's right elbow. The doctor has to be called to check on this. Is this scripted?

As we return from commercial, the heels are taking turns isolating Seth Rollins. The Bar are not only manhandling the Architect but also talking trash to the crowd. Rollins hits a DDT on Sheamus and looks for the tag, but Samoa Joe becomes the legal man and levels the former WWE Champion with an enzuigiri.

.@TheDeanAmbrose is on fire!! #RAW pic.twitter.com/QRgPVXOFF2
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

Cesaro puts Jordan in a chinlock, but Jordan hits a back suplex before Rollins tags himself in. he follows a slingblade with a superkick before hitting a tope con hilo as we head to commercial.

Cesaro, Sheamus & Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose & Jason Jordan
Seth Rollins and Sheamus are about to kick things off when Jordan demands to start proceedings. Sheamus nearly decapitates the former amateur wrestler with a lariat before all three of the heels take turns putting the boots to Jordan.

Asuka manhandles Fox and locks in the armbar for the easy victory.
Asuka def. Alicia Fox

Asuka vs. Alicia Fox
Fox is on the back foot right off the bat. She has a kick blocked and is taken down right away. Asuka looks to work on the arm, but Fox manages to leave the ring and land a cheap shot. Fox lands the best northern lights suplex in the business and grabs a chin lock. Cole says that Asuka's unbeaten run is more impressive than that of Foreman. Well, she's scripted to win. That helps a little bit.

Gulak is in control of Alexander, assaulting him with a number of strikes. Alexander comes back with a backdrop and gets a near fall with a huge lariat. After a back and forth affair, Alexader wins with a lumbar check.

Cedric Alexander def. Drew Gulak to earn a shot at the Cruiserweight Championship

Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak; winner earns a shot at the Cruiserweight Championship
Enzo banters back and forth with Booker T on commentary while Alexander hits a suicide dive on Gulak before following it up with a chop. Gulak attempts a suplex near the ropes, but both men accidentally tumble outside the ring.

Drew Gulak vs. Cedric Alexander
In his pre-match promo, Enzo Amore makes a series of cringe-worthy Starwars references.

GO 2 SLEEP!!!!! #RAW @HideoItami pic.twitter.com/h5uS8LhHhR
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

Cedric Alexander vows to defeat Drew Gulak and eventually win the Cruiserweight title from Enzo Amore.

Hey, Corey Graves! You fancy yourself as the voice of the knowledgeable fan, don't you? Who used that move on WWE TV before Itami?

Finn Balor and Hideo Itami vs. The Miztourage
We have an impromptu tag-team match on hands. Dallas and Axel double team Balor, isolating him with ground and pound. He makes the hot tag to Itami, who runs through Axel and Dallas.

He hits the GTS on Axel for the win! That is blasphemy! No man other than CM Punk should be allowed to use that move on WWE television!

Finn Balor and Hideo Itami def. The Miztourage

Axel positions Balor for a superplex, but the former Universal Champion fights him off and sets up the Coup De Grace. However, Dallas knocks him off the apron and the Miztourage get disqualified for double teaming Balor. They continue to double team him when Hideo Itami interferes and makes his debut!
Finn Balor def. The Miztourage via DQ

Finn Balor vs. The Miztourage (Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel) Handicap match
Dallas attempts to start proceedings, but he makes the tag almost immediately. Dallas and Axel isolate Balor in their corner and go after him with a flurry of strikes. Balor connects with a basement dropkick and grabs a headlock. However, The Miztourage regain the advantage quickly, and it looks like The Irishman has been busted open!

Now, onto someone who's actually over. Finn Balor's out next. See what I did there?

Time for another Bray Wyatt vignette. He says that his great war with Matt Hardy must end. Sigh. Poor Matt Hardy.

Backstage, Rollins, Ambrose and Jordan, all of whom have a bone to pick with the former TNA man, all demand a match against Joe to Kurt Angle. The GM makes a six-man tag team match. Rollins, Ambrose and Jordan will face Cesaro, Sheamus and Joe.

RIPCORD KNEE!!!! #RAW @WWERollins pic.twitter.com/JR5E62GtKt
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

After the match, an irate Samoa Joe lays out Rollins with an urunage slam, a Rock Bottom for those of you who don't watch Japanese wrestling. He also lays out Jason Jordan on his way to the back!

When the action returns inside the ring, Rollins escapes a schoolboy and connects with King's Landing to end Jason Jordan's resistance.
Seth Rollins def. Jason Jordan; earns future match against Samoa Joe

Rollins blocks an attempted superplex. Viva La Raza! Frogsplash connects! Outside the ring, Rollins shoves Jordan into Joe, following up with a thunderous superkick on the Samoan.

Rollins looks for a springboard suplex, but Jordan snatches him out of the air and connects with consecutive northern lights suplexes. It's only good for 2!

Rollins follows a slingblade with a springboard clothesline, but he can't keep Jordan down for 3. The Architect makes eye contact with Joe which gives Jordan an opening to hit a belly-to-belly suplex. A German suplex attempt is reversed, allowing Rollins to fling his foe outside the ring and hit the suicide dive, a staple of modern day TV wrestling.

Excuse you. pic.twitter.com/AOAyvVGz41
— TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) December 19, 2017

OH BOY #RAW pic.twitter.com/8rBtw2wXsN
— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) December 19, 2017

Jordan blocks a superkick and hits a German suplex as we head to commercial.

The crowd does not give a damn about this one, folks! "This is boring!" chants pervade the arena.

As we return from commercial, Jordan intercepts an aerial manoeuvre outside the ring and drives Rollins into the barricade. He goes to work on the Iowa native's back inside the ring. Apparently, Jordan thinks that the audience needs to know the spots he's calling before he actually performs them.

Seth Rollins vs. Jason Jordan; winner earns a future match with Samoa Joe
Jordan begins with a series of amateur wrestling holds, but he is quickly thrown out of the ring as we cut to commercial.