The Runner diaries

I made my way back to my doc, who decided it might be worth going in for an MRI just to be sure. MRI was underway, waiting for a couple days; I was in pure mental agony. This agony automatically manifested in the physical form – suddenly there was pain everywhere! Imagine my plight. I have to mention a few conversations I had with some close friends during that period of turmoil I was going through:

Me: Maybe I pushed myself too hard too soon and this is the result of it. My legs are giving up on me. I will never run again.

Friend: What are you talking about? You are awesome. This is all just physical – don’t pay attention to it. You don’t know, the power of running is great. I was in so much pain but the love of running! I once ran with one leg.

Me: What do you mean you ran with one leg?

Friend: My one leg was hurting so much; I had to literally drag it. But I didn’t care, all I wanted to do was run.

Me: You are crazy!

Friend: You will be fine!

Conversation 2:

Me: How was your ride?

Friend: It was superb! 6000 metres of elevation in 2 days, 250 Kms. I feel fresh. Just my backside hurts. How’s your leg?

Me: Same, it hurts. You should use a heating pad to relax your backside.

Friend: I think I might use an Iron box to make it feel better. When the doc says rest, I think he means you shouldn’t cycle or swim either, certainly not time-attacks in the pool.

Me: Sit in a bucket of hot water. That will be nice. Please! Swimming and cycling is low impact, it’s not counted as exercise.

There’s so many more but case in point being, how can one not smile and feel pepped up when surrounded by such lovely, positive and super hilarious people?

Finally yesterday, the doc and me had a sit down, looked at the scans and it was decided that there was actually nothing wrong with my leg. The conversation went like this:

Doc: Where does it hurt?

Me: It hurts everywhere. But the pain in the right knee is so much that I can’t think about anything else.

The doc looks at me, then the scan – Me again.

Doc: Are you sure?

Me: Yes doc, I am sure. This is making me miserable

Doc: Scan says if something is wrong, it’s in your left knee.

(He smirks)

Me: How can that be? Maybe it is. The right knee hurts so much I can’t feel the left knee pain.

Doc: There is nothing wrong with your right knee. Did they put you into the MRI machine the right way?

Me: I think so. My legs went in first. Maybe my knee is overstrained

Doc: Please! If the knee was overstrained it would show some sign. It looks perfectly healthy and happy. You are a strong girl. Go back for a run. You will be fine.

And just like that – I was fine. 3 weeks of pure misery done and dusted within 5 minutes. This incident however, made me realise a few things – how dependent I am on running as a drug of choice for myself, how psychologically we create barriers for ourselves which manifest in a physical manner and how much I like other sports as well.

As a runner, I felt claustrophobic, frustrated and bound by the fact that I did not have the freedom to lace up my shoes and head out as and when I fancied. This made me grumpy, cranky and a generally miserable person to be around. Somewhere I had been injured, yes, but I let that seed grow into a healthy huge tree in my head and that stopped me from realising when I had recovered and objectively looking at my physical condition.

Finally, after maybe a decade or so, I went back into a pool to swim. The first day, I could barely do 30 metres at a stretch. Today, I completed 1.5K in 42mins, in 2 intervals – one of 1K and one of 500mtrs. Damn! I feel strong and can’t wait to go for my trial recovery walk/run tomorrow morning.