The Fawn Response That Makes You Engage in People-Pleasing

Most of us have heard something or the other about the fight-or-flight response, but do you know anything about the fawn response? It isn't as popularly recognized but is equally significant.

One of the unique manners in which our minds and bodies react to threatening and distressing circumstances, is the fawn response. In contrast to the fight-or-flight response that deals with fighting or running away from threats, the fawning response revolves around pleasing others and compliance.

People with this response are inclined towards making others happy. (Image via Vecteezy/ Lira Vega)

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What Is the Fawn Response?

So many of us and we all have different ways of responding to threat. (Image via vecteezy/ Icon Ade)

Picture a deer in the forest when it faces a predator. Instead of fighting or fleeing, the deer may showcase compliant behaviors to steer clear of the attack. This is how the fawn response plays out.

In relation to humans, the fawn response may present itself as being too polite, and an intense need to make people happy. When an individual is facing the consequences of the fawn response, they may keep their own desires and dreams aside.

This is to make sure that people around them feel at ease and avoid conflicting situations. It's similar to becoming a people-pleaser to evade confrontation or harm. While we all want to make others happy around us, we may not engage in it excessively.

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What Are the Positive Effects of the Fawn Response in Adulthood?

What are the effects of this response? (Image via Vecteezy/ Generative AI)

The fawn response doesn't simply go away with childhood. It seeps into adulthood and goes on to influence our behavior, many times both positively and negatively. These can often show up as daily habits, that are in reality trauma responses.

People with this trauma response tend to display empathetic as well as understanding characteristics. They find relating to others' struggles and feelings easy, which helps them become great friends and supportive partners.

Those with a well-balanced response can prove to be great at resolving conflicts and establishing friendly environments. They are highly skilled at finding agreements and dispersing tense scenarios.

Further, they may find their calling in aiding professions such as therapy, counseling, or working for social causes. Their usual tendency is to assist people around them.

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What Are the Adverse Effects of Fawning?

Sometimes, this can affect our lives negatively. (Image via Vecteezy/ Valery Vasilyeu)

There is also a flip side to this response, that can have a negative effect on your life. It may also result in self-neglect in its extreme form. People start to prioritize the needs of others at the cost of their own well-being, which causes burnout as well as stress.

Those with a strong response find it challenging to establish healthy boundaries. They might say yes when they feel like saying no and find it challenging to assert themselves.

The frequent need to seek approval and validation may prove to be greatly exhausting and can also lead to anxiety. Constantly seeking validation from people slowly becomes a way of life.

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The fawn response in adulthood should be looked at more closely to identify its implications for your health and well-being. Identifying and stabilizing this response is of utmost value for an enriching and fulfilling life. As you gain more clarity about your response, you can learn to balance it.

Always know that it's completely normal to prioritize personal well-being, while at the same time, showing care and being empathetic for others around you.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

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