9 instances that prove Zlatan Ibrahimovic is secretly a ninja

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is not your average garden-variety footballer. The man’s technique, aura, skills, presence, in short, everything, is unlike that of any conventional football player we have ever seen. And trust us when we say, we have seen a lot of them.However, one thing is certain, Zlatan’s handbook of footballing skills and techniques are not the ones being taught at regular football training centres. The secret behind how Zlatan acquired his unique skill set has remained a mystery, until now!The origins of the theoryAccording to our sources, “As a young boy, Zlatan was chosen by a top-secret Japanese ninja organization to join their ranks. Young Zlatan was taken to a secretive Dojo on Mount Fuji to receive his training.“Zlatan took well to his newfound purpose in life and was trained vigorously in the art of ‘ninjutsu’. Just after Zlatan completed his training in the physical arts and was about to delve into the spiritual teachings of humility and self-control needed to become a ninja, tragedy struck.”“Zlatan’s beloved teacher (sensei) Jo Che Mo Inho (whose personality and conduct reportedly matched that of Chelsea’s current manager Jose Mourinho) was embarrassed in a duel by Pe Pe Gard I Ola (who was someone who obsessed over style and behaviour, similar to former Barca manager Pep Guardiola), the leader of a rival sect of samurais.“A heartbroken and vengeful Zlatan moved back to Sweden and decided to use his ninja training to grace football.”Sportskeeda, in its quest to verify the information, faced denial after denial from every private detective agency it approached. Finally, we got in touch with a struggling Liverpool player, who was an ex-team-mate of Zlatan’s at Inter Milan. In lieu of promising him the first choice penalty taker role in the Sportskeeda football team in future, he provided us with an assortment of visual proof confirming the ridiculous story might actually hold some ground.DisclaimerThis is completely a work of fiction, designed only to be humourous, and nothing else. It is not intended to hurt anyone’s sentiments and needs to be taken in jest. Please do not overthink it, and yes, if you are a ninja, you know Zlatan is part of the brotherhood! So, here are some reasons why Zlatan Ibrahimovic might actually be a 'ninja':

#1 Zlatan can be sneaky like a ninja

Standing at a towering 6 feet 5 inches, Zlatan is a giant of a man. Yet, the indomitable Swede seems to have an uncanny knack for sneaking up on defenders to score some of his goals. Zlatan has proved himself time and again to be a genuine fox-in-the-box.

Zlatan has even managed to sneak up on the all-seeing Jose Mourinho, proving that he is a master of surprises.

#2 Zlatan hates Guardiola but can kill for Jose Mourinho

Zlatan has admitted time and again that he hates Pep Guardiola and loves Mourinho. While unlikely, it is very much possible that Zlatan’s ordeal as a child might have something to do with it.

As mentioned in the great Zlatan’s ‘true’ origin story, Zlatan’s ninja sensei Jo Che Mo Inho, who was very similar to Jose Mourinho in personality, was embarrassed in a duel by rival samurai group leader Pe Pe Gard I Ola, who was very obsessive, exactly like Pep Guardiola .

Here’s video evidence showing Zlatan talking about both men.

#3 Zlatan is the master of the air

A ninja is said to have mastered the element of air. A true ninja is said to be able to walk on leaves. As we can see, week in week out, Zlatan possesses mastery over the ability of gliding in the air.

Watch Zlatan as he manipulates the air around him to take control of the ball and make it do his bidding:

#4 Zlatan can sense the future

A true ninja cannot see but sense the future. The great Zlatan has applied this concept very well, and it is very clear he too has mastered the art of sensing the future before it actually happens. It adds to his great persona as he is able to use this facet to his advantage.

Watch Zlatan as he knows he’s scored before he actually does:

#5 The Obvious - Zlatan and his kung fu kicks

If it wasn’t obvious to anyone by now, the ridiculous ‘finishes’ and ‘celebrations Zlatan has pulled off over the years, are unique to the man. Not many have tried, and barely anyone has ever succeeded. All this and the fact that Ibrahimovic was trained in Taekwondo points to only one thing, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is a trained ninja.

Watch this brilliant celebration of his showcasing the same:

#6 Zlatan loves to kick people

It is said that ‘kicks’ are a ninja’s favourite mode of attack. In his lifetime, Zlatan has kicked everyone ranging from his team-mates to opponents, and yes, of course, the ball too. What makes these kicks unique are the manner in which they are executed, and the authority and audacity with which they are celebrated, which are a trademark of the man.

Here’s a compilation of Zlatan kicking people and a very confused Antonio Cassano.

#7 Mastery over projectiles

A throwing star is supposed to be a ninja’s weapon of choice. Zlatan’s capacity for directing projectiles with pin-point accuracy under the most diverse of conditions is just another testimony to Zlatan’s ‘ninjutsu’ training.

It’s no surprise that Zlatan is touted as one of the best ‘marksmen’ in modern football. If you don’t believe us here’s proof. We are pretty sure that Zlatan being Zlatan, he had devised the ‘kicking star’ technique while he was training.

#8 Zlatan is a master manipulator

A ninja is trained to be the master of mind games and so is Zlatan. Zlatan does what Zlatan wants and nothing else. Just in the recent past, we’ve seen him bully the opposition players, the media, and even the referee!

Watch the great man impose his will on the referee in a football pitch, among all the people.

#9 Its just too obvious this time

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. No explanations needed here. There can be no doubt about it. Though a ninja is supposed to keep his identity secret since Zlatan is Zlatan, he decides to stay in the open, reverting to the ninja get-up on the odd occasion.

Zlatan is definitely a ninja.