Classic cricketing sledges

Sledging or verbal pasting has been a significant part of cricket ever since about the mid-1960s. While most times it is mistaken for personal abuse or individual attack, more often than not, it is just intended as a method of distraction and some playful repartee between the players. Most players receive it in the right spirit and counter with witty replies. While sledging helped some mentally strong batsmen raise their game and lead their team to victory, a few also lost the plot and succumbed to the intention.

Steve Waugh referred to sledging as ‘mental disintegration’ while teammate Brett Lee terms it as mere ‘gamesmanship’. “I wouldn’t call it sledging. It’s actually gamesmanship. A way to get under the batsman’s skin,” Lee says.

While the debate over gamesmanship and poor sportsmanship continues, over the years, there have been various sledges that make it to the list of archetypal sledges, which of course display tremendous amount of acumen and hilarity.

Let’s look at 15 of them that have stood out.

1. Rod Marsh to Ian Botham: “So, how’s your wife and my kids?” to which Botham replied, “Wife is good, and the kids – retarded.”

2. Merv Hughes, Australian fast bowler, was always well equipped with words. During a Test at Lord’s in 1989, Hughes said to the batsman Robin Smith: “You can’t f—bat”, after he played and missed.

Next ball, Smith smashed Merv to the boundary, and said: “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair: I can’t f—ing bat and you can’t f—ing bowl.”

3. The banter between Hughes and Smith was always the classic banter one would look forward to and both have shared quite a few exchanges during their confrontations. On a day when Smith was missing more playing, Hughes said: “Mate, if you turn the bat over, you’ll see the instructions on the back.”

4. Merv Hughes was at it once again, but this time against the West Indian – Viv Richards. Hughes kept staring at Richards after his follow up after every delivery, much to the annoyance of the brawny West Indian. Finally, after his patience was pushed to the brink, he snapped, “This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl.”

Merv was left without a retort to that. But after he dismissed Richards, he couldn’t help himself and said, “In my culture we just say f— off.”

5. During Mike Atherton’s first tour of Australia, there was an appeal for caught behind against him, which was turned down. Ian Healy, during the change of ends at the end of the over went up to him and called him a “f—ing cheat”. Atherton, unperturbed, shot back: “When in Rome, dear boy.”

6. When English batsman James Ormond arrived at the crease during an Ashes game in 2001, Mark Waugh took a dig at Ormond and said, “F— me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.” Ormond in an impulsive response said: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”

7. After England’s Ashes success of 2005, Shane Warne said to Paul Collingwood: “You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at The Oval? That’s embarrassing.”

8. This is one of the most famous sledges of all time given that Cullinan and Warne were always known to be at each other’s throats. While Cullinan was on his way to the middle, Warne told him he waited two whole years for an additional opportunity to humiliate the South African to which Cullinan replied: “Looks like you spent it eating.”

9. Shaun Pollock told Ponting after going past the outside edge a few times, “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces.” Ponting smashed the next delivery to the fence and said to Pollock : “You know what it looks like, now go find it.”

10. Shane Warne was in pursuit of tempting stocky Sri Lankan skipper - Arjuna Ranatunga out of his crease when keeper Ian Healy suggested “putting a Mars Bar on a good length”.

11. Glenn McGrath and Eddo Brandes’s banter was usually centred on ‘weight’. When the Zimbabwean batsman played and missed one from McGrath, the paceman queried: “Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?” To which, promptly the batsman said: “Cos every time I sleep with your wife she gives me a biscuit.”

12. West Indian daunting pace man Malcolm Marshall while bowling to an out-of-form David Boon said: “Now David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”

13. The fans loved Phil Tuffnell, but the same could not be said about Craig McDermott. The Aussie, while batting on a nice and bouncy wicket, told Tuffnell: “You’ve got to bat on this in a minute, Tuffers. Hospital food suits you?”

14. Allan Border was famous for his chats on the field. Robin Smith, during the Ashes in 1989 at Trent Bridge, wanted a drink, which AB refused and said: “What do you think this is; a f—ing tea party? No, you can’t have a f—ing glass of water, you can f—ing wait like the rest of us.”

15. The great Fred Trueman bowled out a youngster and the young’un said in appreciation: “That was a very good ball, Fred.” To which Trueman replied: “Aye, and it was wasted on you.”

There’s always a lighter side to everything.