Humour: Venkatesh Prasad's application form for the job of India coach that was rejected
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Not intended to be derisive. The comments below are not real.
Application form for the job of head coach for the Indian Cricket team
(Affix photo here)
- Name: Venkatesh Prasad
- Age: 46 years
- If represented India: Yes
- If yes, in what capacity: (Note: wrong answer will result in disqualification):
Fast bowler, pace bowler, sorry .. gentle medium
- Why do you think you are the right person to coach team India? : Because I've watched “Chak De India” 72 times in theatres and 51 times on my laptop. Also, I know SRK’s "sattar minute" speech in the movie by heart.
- Your opinion on DRS: Don't know. Prefer RDS (Rawa Dosa Special).
- Instances of aggression shown by you: (Mention any two) (This question is at the instance of Saurav Ganguly)
Send off to Amir Sohail in Bangalore 1996
Shouted at a waiter in an Udupi restaurant once for serving me watery sambar.
- Best compliment received: From Anil Kumble "yard or two faster and you will be as quick as me".
- As a coach what would you bring to the table: My laptop
-Achievements: Have my name on Lord's roll of honors.... Also on Venky's chicken rolls.
-Technology in Cricket you prefer and why?: (select any one)
a) Hawk eye b) Hot spot c) Ultra slow motion
Ans : Ultra slow motion. Because it is inspired by my real time bowling speed.
- Have you been convicted of any offences in India:
NO!!! Just accused of boring TV viewers to death with my commentary .
Also, 2 people died laughing when they heard me give tips on fast bowling to Dale Steyn in the IPL.
- Please list three professional references: