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Footballing Firecrackers!

2.95K   //    11 Nov 2012, 18:40 IST

Disclaimer: For understanding this piece of writing, the reader must have an idea regarding what are fireworks and also what are the names of crackers common to the masses.

Diwali- the festival of lights is arguably the best part of the year for an Indian. It’s a carnival of lights, flowers, sweets, lanterns, dance, rangolis, laughter, noise and most importantly – firecrackers. In today’s times, Diwali is basically only  fireworks.  And most of us don’t know why we really celebrate Diwali (I myself didn’t know the reason until I read it school) and associate Diwali as a fiesta of fireworks rather than a festival of lights.

Footballers, too, are nothing short of fireworks. When they are seen playing the best sport ever(provided it is clean and without any cheating, which is hard to find nowadays), it brings nothing else than complete, unadulterated and pure joy to the viewer similar to fireworks. But what if footballers themselves were fireworks? Let’s have a look.

Sursuri/Mario Balotelli:

If asked to explain the nature of burning of this particular firework, I would say – unexpected. Sometimes it just fizzles out when ignited and does nothing but when it catches fire well, it acts as if it is a mad dog that has just been set loose. It moves randomly across the ground with a bright tail … on fire (obviously) and makes everyone in the vicinity jump to just make sure their feet aren’t on fire. Balotelli too is a player of the same category … when in form he can absolutely wreck the defence of a team (ask Germany), but when he is not playing so good, well, he absolutely sucks (ask Spain).

Ladyfinger(Lavangi)/ Spain:

This may be the most common of all crackers during Diwali. A set of joined small crackers, they are one of the noisiest crackers. With their ‘pop pops’ and ‘bang bangs’, they make all run away. But as a single unit or as we call them ‘lavangis’, they are nothing. An analogy between the Spanish football team and these crackers can be made. As one main unit they have ruled the football world and they have made it big despite not having any extraordinarily famous names in their squad. A perfect paradigm of the phrase ‘United we stand, divided we fall’.

Sky Rocket/FC Barcelona:

The sky rocket is an epitome of beauty. The way it creates an image in the sky after bursting is truly amazing. It leaves a lasting image in our minds and is truly stunning to watch. The gameplay of what is arguably the greatest team in the world, FC Barcelona, is truly amazing to watch. Love them or hate them, but one must accept the fact that their style of play is amazing (I myself dislike FCB).

Sparklers (Phoolbaji)/Pepe:

Note- I am talking about the fire and burns sparklers cause and NOT the magnitude of their burning. Though sparklers are the most standard of all fireworks and are the ones which are handed to small children, they are also the ones who cause a lot of injuries and burns. Because after the fire extinguishes, the stick remains hot. Correction- Burning hot. That’s why elders always tell us to throw the sparkler somewhere far off to make sure no idiot steps on it and burns his sole off. And when someone asks who the most hot-tempered footballer is, a devoted fan would always take the name of the ‘Man on a mission’ …. Or rather ‘Man on a mission to crack his opponents head’ – The great Pepe. And if you have any doubts regarding the matter, ask Javier Casquero. Once Pepe gets mad, he wrecks havoc across the field. And his temper shows no sign of decreasing just like the phoolbaji which continues to be searing hot even after getting extinguished.

Sutli Bomb/C. Ronaldo:

Anyone who frequently bursts crackers will certainly know about this one. Known for its tremendous noise, it can certainly damage someone’s ear if standing too close to it. Though it bursts in a few seconds, it leaves a deep impact and its sound can be heard a good 1 km away. Ronaldo too is a player with extraordinary talent and he certainly leaves a mark wherever he plays, be it United, Real or Portugal. He is a player who can play anywhere and at any club and still leave a long-lasting mark. I’m sure many of you will be thinking why there is no Messi … well, he is a team-player and always requires the help of his FCB and Argentina mates. Though the ‘Messi vs Ronaldo’ debate is never-ending, I will always give Ronaldo the upper-hand.

So this is my view on what would footballers be if they were fireworks.

Wishing you a happy and safe Diwali!

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A burly 16 year old from Mumbai. A staunch Liverpool supporter and massive Stevie G fan. A freaky football enthusiast and even though I am fairly good at the sport (Just kidding, I suck), I prefer to vent my feeling towards football on this website rather than the field. Writing since Sept 5, 2012.
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