'%20x='0'%20y='0'%20height='100%25'%20width='100%25'%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20xlink%3Ahref='data:image/jpg;base64,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'%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Childhood trauma is a threat to your inner self or what psychology calls the "inner child." While growing up, we have certain needs to enhance our well-being. These needs are social, emotional, physical, and psychological. Sometimes, these needs go unmet and can cause invisible wounds or scars that can have long-term effects. These wounds are called trauma, and it can have many symptoms associated to it.
While it is essential to be aware about the signs and treatment of childhood trauma, it is equally important to know what contributes to it. Some clients may not even recognize that what they have gone through is childhood trauma.
Childhood Trauma: Identifying the Causes
There are many things that can impact your mental health as a child. When parents don't consider their children's emotions important, valid, or as significant as other matters, they emotionally neglect them. If you are a parent and you are reading this, it can be a bit triggering and hard.
However, becoming aware of these factors will give you a chance to enhance your relationship with your child. If you are an adult who may have experienced childhood trauma, this may be your chance to move towards inner healing. Here are some causes or potential origins of trauma:
1) Emotional Neglect
Emotional neglect during childhood can be just as harmful and long-lasting as other childhood traumatic experiences. However, since we can't determine what caused them in the first place, it can be challenging to recognize and overcome them.
Emotional neglect is not the same as child abuse because it is often unintentional. While some parents may purposely disregard their child's emotions, others might not notice or respond to their emotional needs. Your parents could have genuinely loved you and tried their best, but they may still have neglected your emotional needs unknowingly.
2) Lack of Validation and Appreciation
Invalidations occur when your parents fail to acknowledge, appreciate, or validate your emotions, or they question your feelings when you express them. In a way, they unintentionally convey the message that your emotions don't matter or that something is wrong with how you feel.
This can have lasting effects on a person's self esteem and self-concept, so much so that they may end up believing that they don't deserve love.
3) Off-hand Comments
What may be a life-changing sentence for the child, can very well be just a regular Tuesday for the parent. Children often look to parents for support and encouragement, but comments like, "I wish you could be smarter," "You don't deserve this," "Your sibling is better than you," "I wish I delayed my pregnancy," or, "I am ashamed of you," may have lasting consequences on your child's psyche.
Using these damaging words can not only harm your relationship with your child, but also harm their long-term mental health. The reality is that words can hurt, and even if we as adults can compartmentalize words, children can feel the full brunt of harmful comments. Remember, even if they forget it, their bodies may keep a score of it.
4) Invalidation
When children are told to stop crying or to stop being dramatic and that they have no reason to be sad, they experience an invalidation of their feelings and thoughts. All of these things trivialize their sense of concerns and potential to communicate with others.
Unfortunately, the problem with this is it creates a scenario where children may feel like their emotions don't matter, which leads to symptoms of childhood trauma like loneliness, anxiety, depression and so on. That is a lifelong sentence, unless we revisit our inner child wounds and recover that secure base that we looked at during our childhood. An inner child or trauma-informed therapist can help address this issue.
5) Violence
Any form of violence can be a precursor to childhood trauma. This doesn't only mean that a child has to be the victim, as they can also be an observer of the violence and experience negative emotions. Children who witness violence at home may also model similar behaviors as adults, while children exposed to community violence can also be vulnerable to developing conditions like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
A parent yells, hits, punishes, and the child cries and after a few minutes, goes back to normal. The parent thinks that the child forgot the negative experience, but this is not true. The subconscious brain stores it all, and the childhood wounds are visible in their behavior when they grow up. Children don't necessarily have to grow up with childhood trauma if parents become more aware of their mental states.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
What do you think of this story? Tell us in the comments section below.
