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It is important to demystify dissociation and psycho-educate our loved ones about the signs and symptoms of dissociation. Dissociation exists on a spectrum, meaning we all dissociate to some degree. For example, when you drive and arrive at your location, you may often not remember how you got there.
At the other end of the spectrum, is feeling completely disconnected from yourself and the world around you. What happens when you dissociate can differ from person to person as dissociation is a disconnection and can exist in various forms. However, mental health researchers understand the condition better now and can also help you mitigate it.
What is Dissociation?
You may be wondering what dissociation may feel like. If you’ve experienced trauma in your life, particularly developmental trauma, where, as a child, you've not been cared for by those that were supposed to keep you safe and looked after, you may have had to cope and find a way to survive in your environment.
Often, this will look like a child dissociating from the memories of abuse and hurt. This can also happen when we’ve experienced other overwhelming events in our histories, which can cause issues for us later in life. We may have adapted unconsciously to keep ourselves safe, but in the now, dissociation can crop up and stop us living our lives to the fullest.
What Does it Mean to Dissociate?
Dissociation is a necessary, life-preserving, response. But it is understandable that we think of it as a bad thing because of how much it can interfere with life. A better understanding of this defense can come from the flight, fight, or freeze response.
A major component of dissociation is the freeze response. When we are in freeze, we feel numb, depressed, cut off, confused, and brain fogged. This is a typical response because freeze serves to numb us to otherwise very painful and traumatic events.
Chronic freeze, however, can have significantly negative impacts on quality of life, relationships, and physical health. Chronic freeze wreaks havoc on digestive health, immune function, hormone balance, and more.
We are not meant to be in fight, flight, or freeze chronically, but so many of us are in this mode because of traumatic events in our lives. This is also because of how overwhelmingly demanding modern life is.
But for those who want to opt out of freeze, re-regulating the nervous system is possible. The first step is often reframing that freeze isn’t bad, it’s trying to protect you, and a mental health professional can help you figure out what it is that your nervous system is perceiving as a threat so that you can work with it rather than against it.
It’s so often that we try to force ourselves to be present and force ourselves to continue to face life, but this kind of forcing is a stressful stimulus that is more than likely just reinforcing the reasons we are in the freeze mode in the first place.
Why Do We Dissociate?
"What causes disassociation?"is a question that often goes unaddressed. Dissociation can stem as a result of your body's natural reaction to fight off stressors, fatigue or intense emotions. However, in some people it can have more long-term and pervasive consequences leading to dissociative disorders.
One of the primary causes of our tendency to dissociate is trauma. Growing up in a traumatic environment or having been exposed to difficult experiences can make your body build defenses. Your body would want to associate to avoid it from re-exposing itself to the threat.
Sometimes, its not external factors, but rather internal factors in our body. Some research links alterations in the brain and bio-chemistry to dissociative disorders, while others also talk about certain personality traits contributing to the same. For instance, a high tendency to engage in day dreaming or fantasies has also been linked to some level of dissociation.
There are lots of resources that can help you deal with dissociation. However, for those with developmental trauma, it will often take a long time to build resources to feel present and here.
Often because the younger parts of us need support and nurture, don’t lose heart if these don’t always work for you. It takes practice, and sometimes we need guidance with a trauma trained therapist.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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