Savior Complex: Have you been pushing aside your needs over others?

The savior complex is known by different names, such as the Messiah Complex, the White Knight Complex, or even the Hero Complex. We like helping others, but what happens when we believe that we have become saviors in other people's lives? It can feel great to help others, and it is indeed a kind deed. However, how often do you do it, and do you push aside your needs to take care of them?

A person with this complex is likely to go out of their way to help the other person. This often involves them when individuals feel that they 'need' to save others and fix problems for them. This can have an impact both on the one saving and on the one that is being saved.

Do you like helping others or saving them? (Image via Pexels/ Samantha Garrote)

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What is the savior complex? Is it the same as helping others?

Helping others is noble, but have you thought about how it affects you? (Image via Pexels/ Kamaji Ogino)

The savior often finds a victim who needs to be saved. A savior mindset is not the same as a helping mindset. While a helper wants to provide assistance and support, a savior wants to fix it for you.

A helper keeps their boundaries in mind and doesn't push help on others, while someone with a messiah complex is likely to be unaware of their own and others' boundaries. Additionally, they may be 'pushy' in providing assistance. They may also convince you that they have the solutions to help you out and what's potentially best for you.

As you can imagine, the savior complex can be suffocating for a person and can also take a toll on the helper's health.

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How does the Messiah Complex affect our mental health?

Is saving others our responsibility? (Image via Unsplash/ Name_-gravity)

There are many people who self-assume the role of 'therapists' in the group. While their intentions and actions are noble, the savior complex can take a toll on their emotional health. One of the characteristic symptoms of their constant attempts to save lives is burnout syndrome.

Additionally, in their attempt to help others, they can overstep others' boundaries. On the other side, they may experience difficulty saying no to the requests of others. Unfortunately, this can more than often lead to compassion fatigue.

In a relationship, being a savior can often creep in. While helping your partner is completely natural, and often beneficial, it can lead to heightened dependency. Slowly, this can turn into a co-dependent relationship, where one serves and the other demands. Overcoming the savior complex requires a lot of self-reflection and the willingness to work on internal thought patterns.

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It is time that you knock down the Savior Complex! It’s not your responsibility to swoop in and fix others’ problems or save them from making the same mistakes you did.

When you take it upon yourself to be the messiah, you take away the opportunity for that person to step into growth on their own. This way, you stop them from making mistakes and have a meaningful learning experience. By working with a professional, you can work on the savior complex and re-establish your boundaries.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.